I've Never Seen A More Closed Off Man
by carolinelaughs
Summary: This is a sequel story to my first story, "And Deep Down, You Know She's Right". Set in the same universe, this one is all about Steff and his life, and relationship with Elizabeth, again told from her point of view. This story is about their relationship/ups/downs, etc., Centrally focuses on Stefan's aversion to socialization which was briefly touched on in the first story.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I try to make my stories to be stand-alone enough, so that even if one is a sequel, or prequel story, they can still fit into one another, and be enjoyed by the reader. However, I apologize in advance, but this story may (or, may not) be absolutely incomprehensible to anyone who has not read the story it is a sequel to. **

**So, (and I'm not trying to talk down to the readers here, swear, just trying to make sure nothing is confused) basically, what you need to know is:**

**1\. This is a story about Steff, from the movie _Pretty in Pink._  
**

**_2\. _This story exists in its own specific universe, which I don't think contradicts the _movie_'s universe at all, but may not gel with novelizations, or other people's takes on it (however, I think very few of us disagree with the fact that the Blane character is the least interesting love interest that Andie could have possibly had), which of course I respect, whatever they may be. But this is my take on it, and don't worry (spoilers) this is not a Steff/Andie story in any way.**

**3\. Which brings me of course to #3, this story is a sort of hybrid of _Secretary,_ and **_Pretty in Pink, _though it very much takes place in the **_Pretty in Pink _universe, **and Elizabeth, the protagonist of the story, is a "counterpart", as I call it, of Maggie Gyllenhaal, not the actress in real life of course, but a composite of many different characters she has played, Lee in some ways, but in other ways, especially personality and temperament, she is quite different than Lee. ****

****4\. And, of course, other, incidental, and some integral details, people in his life, etc. and of the later life of Steff, or Stefan, as he is mostly known as, in this story, are based on other movies and TV shows that James Spader was in. Also, his last name is Grey in this (see #3), because as far as I'm concerned we're not told what Steff's name is in the movie, so it can be anything you want it to be. Also, again, even though he has quite a few character details of other JS characters, I do think that I've managed to keep Steff's personality that was in the original movie intact, and that it coalesces with the way that I view that he would be in later life. ****

****Other things? I don't really know where the idea of Elizabeth being a Stephen King fangirl came from, but I think it just spun out from the fact that I was most familiar with the movie _Dreamcatcher_, and saw the movie _Secretary_, and found it amusing that his name was the same as the alien villain, Mr. Gray, and it sort of just spun out from, there, a bunch of these references seem to fit into this story. I guess maybe the thing that it most fits with is why Elizabeth is so drawn to the idea of Andie and Cynthia (two of Stefan's ex-girlfriends in this story). _  
_****

****Anyway, enjoy, and happy reading!****

* * *

A short time after the evening that Elizabeth had gone to her friend's wedding without Stefan, Elizabeth and Stefan themselves got married. It was a courthouse wedding, and Stephen, who was Elizabeth's father and Stefan's law partner, was their witness.

They had been together for nearly three years, when Elizabeth discovered that she was pregnant, with twin girls, it had turned out. The first was Amy Elizabeth Grey, named after Elizabeth's coworker and friend, Amy, and herself, and the second was Frances Joan Grey, whom Elizabeth had named after Frances Goldsmith, a major character in Elizabeth's favorite book, _The Stand_, written by her favorite writer, Stephen King. Frances' middle name came from Elizabeth's mother, who was named Joan.

When the twins were not even a year old, Elizabeth had again discovered that she was pregnant, this time it had turned out to be a boy, who Elizabeth named Stefan, who upon getting a little older, was known as Little Stefan, by the rest of the family.

Amy and Frances were lovely little girls, dark haired, and blue eyed, like Elizabeth, and Little Stefan was, naturally, a golden-haired little boy, with blue eyes, and light eyelashes, and unfortunately, was deathly allergic to a number of things, including nuts, tomatoes, shellfish, and perfume, as was Stefan. Elizabeth never wanted to admit such things to herself, as no parent does, but she had a soft spot for Little Stefan, in particular, since he looked so much like his father.

Elizabeth had always been somewhat of a loner, in high school, she had had very few friends or associates, preferring to devote her time to books, and how to get Toby, her future boyfriend, who for years had been the object of a painful, semi-obsessive, and mostly unrequited love, to notice her. She'd always had friends that she saw, people around her, in her adult life, but, she had never truly had a close friend that she'd made a meaningful connection with. Except for Stefan.

But Stefan was more of a loner than Elizabeth could ever hope to be. In high school, as he'd told her, he'd been very popular, and a social leader, but he'd been masking a painful shyness, and insecurity, which had its root in his mother being a cold, aloof woman who had rarely, if ever, shown him any affection, who was married to a strict and harsh man, who had had a special dislike for Stefan. Stefan, as a result of this, had been extremely reckless in his youth, doing everything in his power to anger his stepfather, which mostly consisted of throwing wild parties that wrecked his parents' house, smoking constantly, since, he'd told her, the age of eleven, being perpetually drunk, obstreperous, and most of all, having sex with a lot of different women, many of them, as he'd told her later, older, sometimes married women.

All of this had gone out all throughout high school, and college, but, as he'd told her, he'd made a great effort to change, he had stopped drinking, and, as he saw things, the root of his problems was that he was a liar. He had lied to many people, women, a great deal of the time, most of all his high school girlfriend, Bennie, who, as he told it, had had to put up with a great deal from him. So, Stefan had resolved never to lie again, excluding in his chosen profession, he was nothing if not pragmatic, however, he never lied in his personal dealings with people. Which was could be quite disconcerting, since even the most casual a question that was asked of him was sure to result in a direct, and often blunt, answer.

Stefan was known by his colleagues as a brilliant, as well as ruthless, when called for, attorney, however, he worked in private practice as long as she'd known him, being a solo practitioner until he had entered into partnership with Elizabeth's father, Stephen, which was how she had met him. Her father was a recovering alcoholic, who had had his driver's license suspended after a DUI, resulting in her having to drive him to work every day.

So it was that Stefan, in Elizabeth's observation, who worked in private practice, and had few to no friends, outside of work, was indeed a very closed off man, as his secretary, Tricia, had told her one day in confidence. That she had "never seen a more closed off" man, were her exact words. Later, Elizabeth had found out, from Stefan, that he and Tricia had dated, and had even slept together, for a period of time, but, according to him, Tricia was a very stern and driven individual, and they were far too much alike, so he had ended it. Tricia, Stefan had said, was hard around the edges, and Stefan had been searching, for a long time, for someone soft, and kind.

"By that you mean young, I guess." Elizabeth had said one day, shortly after they got married.

"No." Stefan said.

"You think _I'm_ soft of heart?" Elizabeth said.

"I do." Stefan said.

"After all the sarcastic remarks I've made?" Elizabeth said. "After all the times I've put you in your place? Especially when you needed it."

"Of course." Stefan said. "At heart, you're…soft. Sweet. I dare even say…subservient." He smiled at her.

"I _knew _that was what you were getting at." said Elizabeth.

"Well, aren't you?" said Stefan.

"In your dreams."  
"Of course you are." Said Stefan. "The sarcasm, the insulting remarks, the insolence…"  
"Insolence?"

"All just a cover." Stefan said. "For what you really want to do."

"And what would that be?"  
"Submit completely to my will, of course." Said Stefan.

Elizabeth shook her head. "You couldn't be more wrong, Stefan." She looked at him. "Maybe you're trying to confess to what _you_ want to do. It's okay. You need a female authority figure to keep you from being that person you so loathe."

So Stefan, being a closed-off man, saw very few people. His mother had died when he was in his twenties, and he and his stepfather had not spoken in two decades. Stefan had been raised an only child, and had almost no living relatives that she knew of. There were always stories he told, of people he knew, in law school, in college or high school, at firms where he'd worked before entering into private practice, and, primarily, of girlfriends or lovers he'd had, but, all these people seemed to have faded away with time, invariably for one reason or another. Stefan, it seemed to her, was a man of very hard luck in many ways.


	2. Chapter 2

Elizabeth enjoyed hearing about these aspects of Stefan's life, all of them, but especially the former girlfriends. She always acted like she was jealous, which she could be, if she felt she had any reason to be, but she always realized that she had nothing to worry about. But mostly, she liked hearing about his past, and visualizing where she would have been, in that time, and visualizing those moments in time.

"You do?" Stefan said, when she'd told him this.

"I do." Elizabeth said, smiling at him.

"That almost sounds romantic, Lizzie." Stefan said.

"I like visualizing myself, when you were in law school, and I was on the playground, at recess, jumping rope, maybe, and…"  
Stefan shook his head, looking at her biting his lip. He looked at her, smiling. "With anyone?"  
"By myself." She looked at him. "Why?"  
"Always by yourself, weren't you, Lizzie?"  
"I guess." Said Elizabeth flatly. "Why?"  
"I just know. You're like me."  
"You were always by yourself?"

"I would have been." Said Stefan. "If it weren't for Blane."

"Of course." Said Elizabeth.

"But you didn't have a Blane, did you Lizzie?" said Stefan, stroking her arm.

Elizabeth moved it away deftly, only to have Stefan put his hand back. "I guess I didn't." she shook her head. "My friends were…mostly imaginary."  
"Yes." Said Stefan. "I thought they might have been."  
"Oh, really?" Elizabeth said angrily. "What is that supposed to mean?"  
"Now calm down, Liz. I only meant that you are a very…strange type of person." Said Stefan. "And life can't get strange enough for me."  
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said. She sniffed, and looked into the distance.

"It's true." Said Stefan.

"I had a lot of imaginary boyfriends, too, you know." Elizabeth said. "Well, they weren't really imaginary. They were based on guys I knew, in school, and in the neighborhood, a lot of the time. Imaginary versions of them."  
"I see." Stefan said. He shook his head. "I guess one of them would be Toby, then?" He said sourly.

"Well, I did imagine that an imaginary version of Toby and I carried on conversations, because…well, I didn't have the courage to talk to the real Toby." She shook her head. "But there were guys…well, one guy, actually, that I liked, before I met Toby. He was a boy who was a few years older than me, who lived next door to us. He had long hair, and an earring, and was very…exotic looking. His mother was half Native American." She shook her head. "I imagined I was older, and he and I were a couple, and we went on all kinds of adventures together. Time traveling, mostly." She looked at him. "I had a little alarm clock…I'd wind it back, and pretend it was a time machine. Sometimes I'd carry it around with me, in case of a time-traveling…emergency."  
"Of course." Stefan said.

"Sometimes, my mother would come into my room, and she'd see that my alarm clock was set to twelve midnight or something, when it was really four in the afternoon or so, and she'd set it back, and I'd get so mad….I didn't want to tell anyone about my time traveling adventures. Not my parents, especially. I can only see the puzzled look on my mother's face…and my father would dismiss it, and say that I was just excercising my imagination…but he'd think it was strange, too. I can always tell."  
"Oh, Stephen does appreciate what an imaginative person you are, Elizabeth." Stefan said quietly. He squeezed her hand. "But tell me more about this guy. He was a lot older?"  
"He was a couple of years older than me, yeah. He was a teenager, and I was around ten or eleven. He had a garage band, that he practiced with sometimes. I thought he was very…beautiful. He had black hair, and black eyes, and-

"Uh huh." Stefan said. "And did you…talk to him at all?"  
"No…not really." Elizabeth said. "Mostly I'd…watch him. I didn't want him to see me as this…ten year old, with…"  
"With…"  
"I won't say it." Elizabeth said. "I know it'd….delight you too much."

"You can tell me, Lizzie." He squeezed her hand. "I only delight in helping you. You know that."

"Sure." Elizabeth said. She rolled her eyes, looking up at the ceiling. "With…with round cheeks, and-

"Ah." Stefan said. He smiled, stroking her cheek.

"See?" Elizabeth said. "It's not funny. I was teased about it in school. Some people called me 'Squirrel'."

"They liked you, I'm sure." Said Stefan. "That's why they said that."  
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said. "They were very immature." She glared at him.

"Well, perhaps you should have talked to them, Elizabeth, instead of spending so much time with your imaginary boyfriends. They were just trying to jog you into reality, you know."  
"Oh, 'they', were, huh?" Elizabeth said. "Apt of you to put yourself in their shoes, Stefan." She looked at him pointedly. "_You_ would have been one of the ones to say it the loudest, I'm sure."

"Of course I would." Said Stefan. "That's how I am, isn't it?"  
"It is." Elizabeth said.

"If only it weren't for the fact that…"  
"Hmmm." Elizabeth said. "You weren't exactly in elementary school in those days?"

"Indeed, Elizabeth." Said Stefan. "Like clockwork." He shook his head.

"I wont say it, if you won't say anything about chipmunks."

"Would your imaginary boyfriend have said anything about chipmunks, Elizabeth?"

"Indeed he would not." Elizabeth said. "He was much too courteous and refined."  
"Imaginary paramours always are, aren't they?"

Elizabeth glared at him. "His sense of humor was on a much higher plane, as I recall, than making childish jokes about people's appearance. Especially his…lover's." She looked pointedly at Stefan.

"Well, his sense of humor was your sense of humor, so I can see why you'd like it so much." Stefan said. "Far it be for me to be jealous of imaginary rivals, you know."

"Do you always have to be so…literal?" Elizabeth said.

"It's true." Said Stefan. "If you're going to try and make me jealous, you're going to have to do better than that."

Elizabeth shook her head. "I don't want to make you jealous. I just don't like being called a chipmunk or a squirrel."

"But they're cute. Chipmunks." Said Stefan.

"Sure." Elizabeth said. "Almost as cute as old guys with throat cancer."  
"Not old, Elizabeth." Stefan said.

"Middle-aged guys with throat cancer." Elizabeth said.

"Keep talking, Elizabeth," Stefan said. "And you may wish you could time travel back before you said that."

Elizabeth swallowed, feeling hurt at the jab, though she knew in the back of her mind that Stefan hadn't really meant to be mean-spirited, but her mouth began light years ahead of her brain, as it usually did when it came to situations like these. She remembered something that Toby had said to her in the bakery, a few years earlier, and found her lips forming the words.  
"You ever…hear someone say something…and then it just comes all too true?" She looked at him, shaking her head, and then put her hand on his shoulder. "I had a friend who…said something like that once. And I never thought it would….come true. I laughed in their face when they said it."

"Did you?" Stefan said.  
"Yes. But it did. And then I'm wondering…." She bit her lip, placing her hand against his chest. "I'm wondering if maybe they might be a time traveler to have such expertly accurate knowledge of the future. What do you think?"

"What are you babbling on about now, Elizabeth?" Stefan said irritably.

"Nothing, nothing at all." She looked at him. "But there's this Stephen King character…."  
"Oh, dear." Said Stefan, shaking his head. "Not Stephen King again, Lizzie, please."

"Who you're a lot like now. And his name begins with a 'G'."

"Mr. Gray?" Stefan said.

"Nooo…"

"Oh?" Stefan said. "Who, then?"  
Elizabeth began to feel uncertain, and swallowed hard. "Um…"  
"Lizzie." Stefan said. "You're trembling."  
She was, and she began to feel a few pangs of regret. Stefan traced her hand slowly. Elizabeth coughed nervously, and began to laugh. Stefan smiled at her, seemingly sweetly but she recognized an avid look of curiosity behind it. He stroked her hair. She continued laughing, feeling her face getting very red.

"You seem very amused by something, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.

"I…I am." Said Elizabeth.

"Well, tell me." Stefan said.

"I…can't." Elizabeth said, shaking her head, smiling nervously.

"I want to be in on the joke too, Lizzie." Said Stefan.

"Do you?" Elizabeth said wryly.

"Yes." Stefan said. "What character?"  
"Er….um…Pennywise, of course." Elizabeth.

Stefan shuddered. "Pennywise. I can't imagine how you could ever read that book and have the lights off, ever again, Elizabeth."

"Yes." Said Elizabeth.

"And then you tried to subject _me_ to the movie." Said Stefan. "When the cover alone was likely to drive me to complete insanity."

"I was trying to help you conquer your fear, Stefan." Said Elizabeth. Stefan had a deathly fear of clowns.

"I'm not so sure." Stefan said.

"I was." Said Elizabeth. "Trying to help you." She bit her lip.

"I don't need help like that, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "Next time you think of a way to try to help me, please don't."

"Fine." Said Elizabeth.

"How exactly am I like Pennywise, may I ask, Elizabeth?" said Stefan.

"Well, in the book, Pennywise would…make people completely…saturated with fear by the things he would do. And he would do this, because fear was like a…sauce that would make them…taste all the more delicious to him. To it."  
"And you think that _I'm_ like this?" Stefan said.

"Well…as a lawyer, you know. To opposing counsel. In a sense." Elizabeth looked at him.

"And to you." Stefan said.

"Well…yes." Said Elizabeth. "You love to intimidate me. Or…try."  
"And you think that you taste like…fear right now, Elizabeth?" Stefan said.

Elizabeth began to laugh. "Oh, don't be ridiculous. What do I have to be afraid of?"  
"Only yourself, Lizzie." Said Stefan. "But tell me, what friend of yours said this?"  
Elizabeth bit her lip, the thought being unthinkable to her how utterly impolitic it was of her to quote Toby, her ex-lover, of whom Stefan was very jealous, in this context, not to mention how unthinkably ugly and messy it would be if he found out exactly what she had meant, and who said it.

"Oh…it was me. You know how sometimes people say 'a friend' and they mean themselves." She smiled worriedly, and looked at him.

"Was it, though, Lizzie?" Stefan said.

"Of course." Said Elizabeth. There was an uncertain silence.

"Stefan, you know I…I told you about the time travel thing because I…wanted you to understand something about me, and I…I thought you were making fun of me."  
"I see." Stefan said quietly.

"And…I don't like the idea of people thinking that I'm…well…"  
"Nuts?" Stefan said, raising an eyebrow.

Elizabeth shook her head, her mouth drawn tight.

Stefan put a hand on her shoulder. "Elizabeth." He said. "I never, even for a second thought that you were crazy. I in fact thought that the time traveling world you made up was very creative."

"I know." Said Elizabeth. "But for a second I thought…you think that I'm crazy."  
"Never, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.

"Well, I'm sorry, then." Said Elizabeth.

"For what?"  
"For saying that you're like Pennywise."

"Was that really what you were saying,Elizabeth?"  
"Of course." Said Elizabeth. "What else would I have been saying?" Her face grew warm, and she looked at the floor sadly.

"You know, when your face gets red like that, it reminds me of strawberries, Lizzie." He cupped her face in his hands. "Two lovely, round strawberries."  
"Oh, more jokes about my round cheeks, huh?" Elizabeth said angrily. "How classy."  
"Not really." Stefan said. "Besides, I said they were lovely round cheeks."  
"When my cheeks get red, they look like strawberries, do they?" said Elizabeth.

"Indeed they do." Said Stefan.

"Interesting metaphor." Elizabeth said. "Strawberries."

"Why?" Stefan said.

Elizabeth shook her head, and looked off to the side, laughing.

"Elizabeth-

"You know in _Stand By Me-_

"Oh no." said Stefan. "Old Stevie again."  
"There was this character…what was his name again? That makes me think of you."

"I tried to block out anything Stephen King related, you've subjected me to, Liz."

"I forget, but he was-

"He was what, Elizabeth?"

"He was um…he was a lawyer, of course. He became a lawyer. And that's…why he makes me think of you. Stephen King is always writing about…lawyers. Isn't he, Stefan?"  
"I suppose so, Elizabeth." Stefan said. He patted her hand.

"Indeed. A running theme."

"Very interesting." Said Stefan. "But what does any of it have to do with time travel?"  
"What?" Elizabeth said.

"You said 'a friend' of yours, who you were claiming was yourself, said something so accurate about me that you'd swear that they were a time traveler. And then you claimed that it was that I was like Pennywise."  
"Yes." Said Elizabeth.

"But what does that have to do with time travel?" said Stefan. "How did we get from time travel to my supposedly being like Pennywise?"  
"Oh, would you quit interrogating me?" Elizabeth said crossly. "Who do you think you are, Perry Mason?"  
"Perry Mason, Elizabeth?" said Stefan. "Why would you say Perry Mason?"  
"Because…you're a lawyer?"

"Of course. Just like Stephen King is always writing about, then?"

"Just like." Elizabeth said.

"I see." Said Stefan. "But I still don't see what any of it has to do with time travel."  
"Stefan, if you think I was saying something insulting about you, whatever you think it may be, why are you trying to play these cat-and-mouse games with me? I swear, you must have a masochistic streak a mile wide."  
"I do, actually." Said Stefan. "It has to do with the way I was in the past, you know."  
"What, because you teased some slut back in high school, about being poor, because you liked her more than the other slut you were banging?"  
"Most ugly words, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "But I'm a…very…self-destructive person-

"No, you're not." Said Elizabeth.

"Well, I was, when I was younger. And I need a woman such as yourself to help me…compartmentalize it. To express my self-loathing in a…healthy outlet, you see."  
"Well, that's not what I'm talking about, Stefan." Said Elizabeth.

"No, you're right. It isn't. But I must know. I must try to make sense of your statements. Masochistic or no."  
"Why?"  
"Because it bothers me."

"Well, I refuse to be intimidated like this."  
"You know how I dislike liars, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.

"I'm not a liar." Said Elizabeth.

"Oh, I think you are." Said Stefan. "Either that, or you're schizophrenic."  
"What?"  
"Not because you had an imaginary friend that you went on time traveling adventures with as a child, but because your statement makes no sense if you're really telling the truth."  
"You used the word schizophrenic deliberately, _Steff_." Elizabeth said.

"I told you never to call me that." Stefan said. "Maybe I did. Maybe I thought it'd get your attention. Not because I believe you to be schizophrenic, but because I think you're just the opposite."

"Liar!" Elizabeth said angrily. "_You're_ the liar, Stefan."  
"No, I'm not, Elizabeth. I never once believed you to be schizophrenic, but you clearly have the worry that others will, because of your adventures with…what was his name? Your imaginary friend?"

"You're the worst liar I've ever seen." Elizabeth muttered.

"But because of your adventures with your imaginary friend, you clearly have a chip on your shoulder, thinking that others, especially me, will think that you're mentally…off, when I thought no such thing. I did, however, choose to exploit this fear of yours, by using the word, in order to get your attention. But I certainly never thought that you were schizophrenic, just because you had an imaginary boyfriend when you were a child."  
"Frank." Elizabeth said. "His name was Frank."

"Well." Said Stefan. "I never thought you were schizophrenic for going on time-traveling adventures with Frank."  
"I don't believe you." Elizabeth said.

"You should believe me, Liz. I've never once lied to you."

"I imagined that Frank showed me how to bend space and time…to slow it down, if I wanted. I imagined that he gave me the clock, as my vessel. That's what I'd call it."  
"Well, it sounds fun, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.

"His eye was gone. Not the real Frank, of course." Said Elizabeth. "The imaginary one. He told me that it was my task to go back in time, and save different people. He told me that if I saved enough people, that I could help save him. He never would tell me how he lost his eye."

"I see."

"He told me all about time travel, how people have this energy that radiates through their chests, and how you must travel through God's channel, in order to make things right. He said that I must never, never let anything sever the timeline, or I could possibly rip the fabric of space and time. That was why I got so upset at my mother for setting the clock back to the real time. She had severed the timeline, and my mission was incomplete."  
"Of course." said Stefan.

"But I was never, never unaware of the fact that it was anything but a game." Said Elizabeth. "But it was a game I took very seriously, is all."  
"I know, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.

"I was not schizophrenic." Said Elizabeth. "And…no matter what you may say, I think…you think I'm crazy."  
"Only for thinking that." Said Stefan. "That I think you're crazy."  
Elizabeth shook her head. "No." she said.

"No, what?" Stefan said. "It happens to be true. But what is it exactly that…you predicted about me that-

"I don't want to tell you." Said Elizabeth.

"Best just to be honest." Said Stefan.

"I think you must have some idea." Said Elizabeth.

"Tell me."

"That you'd be….a little…chubbier." Elizabeth muttered, looking off into the distance.

"I see." Said Stefan.

"Like…like Harold in _The Stand_. I always thought Harold was sexy. I always got turned on by the scene in the book, in which Harold and Nadine-

"And Gerald. With a 'G'. See, I know these things. If you wanted to insult me slyly, you shouldn't be talking about these characters constantly, as you do. You said it began with a 'G'. You should have come up with something better than 'Pennywise', which does not in fact, begin with a 'G'. So. You lied. You must have either been trying to exploit my fear of clowns, or you must think I'm incredibly stupid, to not catch that. Perhaps you're a liar, and diabolically cruel as well."  
"Oh, I was not trying to exploit your fear of clowns. I would never do that." Elizabeth said.

"I've tried so hard to teach you not to be a liar, Elizabeth."

"Teach me?" Elizabeth said. "Please. You really have a grandiose sense of yourself, Stefan."  
"Not so grandiose." Said Stefan. "I've tried to influence you to be a completely truthful person, Elizabeth. But it didn't take. You're mean-spirited, and a cowardly liar."

"Okay. So I backtracked on what I said, and lied to spare your feelings, Stefan. Maybe you should try a little tact yourself some time."

"I have tact." Stefan said. "I just don't express it as a lie, the way most people do."  
"I know that makes sense to your mind." Elizabeth said. "But not to anyone normal."  
"There's no one normal in this room, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.

"Oh, really? Why don't you just say it? You don't think I'm normal, because I had imaginary friends, and pretended to time travel. Or maybe it was because I was so obsessed with Toby for so many years."  
"Perhaps that more than anything else, Elizabeth. Not to mention being obsessed with this…Frank, at the age of ten, before Toby came along. Not to mention your obsession with Stephen King. I don't think it's healthy, to be perfectly…frank." He raised an eyebrow at her. "I say this to help you, Lizzie."

"You know when I said you were…so handsome, I could cry, a few years ago, when we were first dating?" said Elizabeth, swallowing hard.

"I do." Said Stefan.

"Well…well, if I had my little vessel, my alarm clock, I'd go back, and…live there. In that time period."  
"Would you?" Stefan said.

"Yeah." Said Elizabeth. "Because now you're…not. Not so handsome I could cry anymore."  
"I'm not?" said Stefan, and Elizabeth only needed to read the expression on his face to know the impact of her words. His mouth formed a painful downward rictus, and his eyes searched her face, urgently.

But Elizabeth swallowed, looking away from him. "Not anymore." She repeated. "Not anymore. And it must be torturous. You were always so good-looking. So many women…telling you you were. And you knew it. That's why it was so awful when Andie liked your friend better. You just couldn't stand it, could you."  
"Elizabeth."  
"Poor little rich boy Steff." Elizabeth spat out, her cute, upturned features twisted in a vicious snarl. "Nobody wants you. Your mother didn't want you. Andie didn't want you. And now, I want you less than Andie wanted you back then. It must be awful. Torturous. What would Andie say if she could see you now? What would she say, huh? Now that you're a…fat tub of guts? Still going to run after Andie? Who hated you, Steff. She hated you." Elizabeth's eyes glowed bright with angry, ferocious tears. "And it hurts, doesn't it?"

Stefan grabbed her suddenly, and held her against him fiercely. Elizabeth struggled, but he wouldn't let her go.

"No, get off of me!" She protested, her throat no longer containing the sobs that she'd been holding back.

"Shhhh." Stefan said.

"It hurts." Elizabeth repeated, still crying. "Everybody thinks…thinks I'm crazy. And it hurts so much, Stefan." She sobbed loudly against his shoulder. "You think I'm crazy, too. I don't care what Toby thought, or my parents or anyone else. Or Frank, if he ever knew I existed back then. But you…"  
Stefan pressed his face against hers for a moment, then looked up at her. There were tears in his eyes as well, but they didn't fall.

"I'm sorry you thought that,Lizzie." He said quietly. "But I've never once…I've never thought you were crazy. The problem is that _you_…think as much of yourself. And…what you think of yourself can…have a significant impact on your outlook on things, not to mention…not to mention your treatment of others."

Elizabeth sniffled. "I guess."

"I know." Stefan said firmly.

"Okay. I know you know." Said Elizabeth. "Maybe I am crazy. I went nuts and lashed out, and said things I didn't even remotely mean."  
"Oh, so you think you can get away with it by pulling the 'crazy' card, do you?" Stefan said. "Sorry, Liz, but I'm not buying it."  
"I'm not trying to-

"You're just extremely vicious. I would have to be completely drunk out of my mind to say the things you said." Said Stefan. "And I can be extremely spiteful, I admit."

"I'm not vicious. That's characterizing. I was just being vicious at that particular moment."  
"Call it what you want. Such behavior is most unbecoming, Elizabeth." He shook his head. "But…I'm sorry that you were hurt. I don't like…seeing you cry like that, Lizzie. It…upsets me greatly."

"It does?" Elizabeth said.

"Of course it does. You should know that." Stefan said. "And I…care about what you think, too…so…I understand….I've never thought you were crazy, and…if anybody ever said so, that person would greatly regret it, if I ever encountered them. I don't have a single disparaging word to say about you, Lizzie. Not unless it was to help you. Do you understand?"

"I understand." Said Elizabeth.

"I've been attracted to you from the moment that I first laid eyes on you." Said Stefan. "And that was a different thing."  
"Different?" said Elizabeth. "Different from what?"

"Different…from the love that I came to have for you, of course." Said Stefan. "I just want to help you…because I love you so much. I thought you'd have understood that by now."  
"I do understand." Said Elizabeth. "But you're so….superior…you…act so superior, sometimes, and so…imperious, and so knowing…and then you have that way you have of looking at me. That look you give. It's a knowing….leer, almost. And your eyes lock on me in a penetrating gaze… You don't know what it does to me. Inside."  
"What _does _it do to you, Lizzie?" said Stefan.

"Makes me angry, Stefan." Said Elizabeth.

"Really." Said Stefan. "I'm not so sure."  
"I am." Said Elizabeth. "A churning anger, in fact."  
"Maybe that's some _other_ type of emotion churning inside of you, Lizzie." said Stefan. "Interesting phraseology, you used. Churning. And penetrating."  
"Oh, please." Said Elizabeth scornfully. "Everything always comes back to that with you, doesn't it? Everything is some…erotic metaphor."  
"Everything is erotic, Lizzie."  
"Not everything." Said Elizabeth. "Believe me, there's nothing sexy about the annoyance I feel, whenever trying to reason with you."  
"Whenever _you_ try to reason with me?" said Stefan. "Now that's really rich."  
"Oh, so I'm unreasonable?" Elizabeth said. "Crazy?"  
"Not crazy." Said Stefan. "Certainly….volatile. Hostile, without a doubt."

"You haven't examined what _you're _like." Said Elizabeth. "And we have yet to touch upon how bossy you are. And how dictatorial you can be."  
"I'd rather not touch on that, if you don't mind." Said Stefan. "And what if I was bossy? Didn't you enter into this marriage, knowing that I can be that way?"

"I did." Said Elizabeth. "That doesn't mean I have to like it. Does it?"  
"Perhaps not. But you still have to like me." Said Stefan.

Elizabeth swallowed. "I do like you." She said. "Very much."

"I'd hate to be someone who you didn't, then Lizzie." Said Stefan. "With some of the things you've said to me tonight."

"I didn't…mean them." Said Elizabeth. "Not a word."  
"What's all this about Andie, Elizabeth?" said Stefan. "I don't care about what Andie thinks. I haven't seen her since we graduated. Why would I care if she found me attractive or not?"  
Elizabeth swallowed. "I…just worry…that she's…the one that got away."  
"Don't be absurd." Stefan said scornfully. "I don't even give her a thought. Not until you bring her up. And then my feelings for her are the same as they've been for years. Indifference."

"I hope so." Elizabeth said.

"You don't need to hope, Elizabeth." Said Stefan. "You can just take my word for it."

"Well, anyway, I…I said horrible things." Elizabeth said.

"I don't care…" said Stefan quietly. "If _Andie_ were no longer to think I was attractive."  
"Stefan-

"Just you, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "And you should know that. I don't give a shit what _Andie_ thinks. Was that…was that some kind of metaphor for yourself, Elizabeth?" He looked at her, hurt etched onto his face.

"I…no….maybe…"  
"That you're not attracted to me anymore?" Stefan said.

"I…it was a lie." Said Elizabeth. She felt a lump in her throat, and tears start to form.

"You said I'm no longer so handsome you could cry." Said Stefan. "I'm no longer attractive to you anymore, you meant. Didn't you?"

"That was definitely a lie." Elizabeth said. "That was the biggest lie of all. And the worst."

"Was it?" said Stefan. "It didn't seem that way to me."  
"It was." Elizabeth said.

"I usually hope you don't lie, Elizabeth." Stefan said, quietly. "But now I find myself hoping that you were. If anything that you ever said was a lie, I…I hope it was that."  
Elizabeth felt terrible, and was at a loss for words.

"I was so touched, when you said that to me all those years ago. Of course, I know what gifts I have, and what gifts I don't have, and one of them is being good-looking. I'm not egotistical about it, but I like to make sure it's acknowleged." Said Stefan. "Especially by the…resistant sort. Which you were."

Elizabeth smiled. "I was."

"You asked me if I remember it. Of course I remember it. It was so…very sweet. To hear…to hear it come out of the mouth of someone that I….so adore. And who I thought didn't…adore me. At least not as much as…." He shook his head. "And then I….I realized that you did, in that moment. That you've always thought of me as a very attractive man. Of course I am, but you're so…odd, that you might not like that. And you're right. I've had a lot of lovers, and a lot of women show interest in me over the years. But I don't care about what _they _thought. It meant so much that you thought of me that way."

"Stefan, I was just…being spiteful. I thought that you-

"And now you don't. Just because I'm a little heavier?"

"No…I told you…I was never-

"I remember, saying to you, that time, that you could never take it back. I thought that you couldn't. But I was wrong."  
"Stefan-

"You've rescinded it." Said Stefan.

"I have not." Elizabeth said.

"You have." Said Stefan. "I can't believe you would ever say such a thing to me, Lizzie."  
"I said I was sorry." Elizabeth said. "What more do you want?"  
"Are you really no longer attracted to me, Elizabeth?" said Stefan.

"No!" said Elizabeth. "I mean, yes. Of course I am."  
"You said I was chubby." Said Stefan.

"Well, Stephen King is always writing about fat guys, and I….I got kind of turned on…by some of it."

"You're saying that I am, in fact, chubby?" Stefan said.

"Well…aren't you?" said Elizabeth. "Haven't you…gotten kind of…overweight, these past couple of years?"  
"Well…I thought you….hadn't noticed, Elizabeth. You've never said anything before."  
"Goodness, did you think I didn't have any vision?" said Elizabeth. "Or….sense of touch?"

"Elizabeth!" Stefan said, shocked. "I'm hurt by that statement. I guess it goes with my no longer being so handsome you could cry, though, doesn't it?"  
"Yes, you are…and…I still find you as attractive as ever. I do."  
"Do you?" said Stefan. "You just implied that you'd have to be visually impaired not to notice how fat I am."  
Elizabeth struggled not to laugh, but failed. "I-

"Oh, so it's funny to you, is it?" said Stefan.

"A little funny. Can't you have a sense of humor about yourself, Stefan?" said Elizabeth.

"I'm very…insecure about my…physical self, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "So no. Not really."

"Oh, come on." Elizabeth said. "As Ms. Walsh and myself know very well, hell hath no fury like Stefan scorned, but can't you just…forgive and forget?"  
"Forget that you said that I'm no longer attractive to you?" said Stefan. "I wish I could forget that kind of scorn, Elizabeth." He shook his head. "Once again, I don't know exactly what Andie has to do with anything, but whatever rejection I experienced from someone as an eighteen year old greatly pales in comparison to someone you've loved and been married to for several years telling you they no longer find you attractive. Fury? I was crushed, Lizzie."

"I know." Elizabeth said sadly. She touched his hand. "I didn't mean it. I am still attracted to you."

"I don't know if I believe you, Lizzie." Said Stefan.

"Well, it's true…I am still attracted…even though you're a little chubby now…." Elizabeth said. Stefan glared at her. "Well, you wanted me to be honest." Elizabeth said. "Because you're still very sexy."  
"I see. Still so handsome you could cry, though?"  
"Of course. You are, Stefan. I was…very angry when I said that."  
"It was a terrible thing to say, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "To someone who loves you so."  
"And I love you." Elizabeth said, quickly. She hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry." She whispered in his ear.

"I hope so. And for saying I'm like a vile, supernatural clown?"  
"Only because you like to stir up fear in people. Specifically me."  
"They say the human brain confuses fear with passion, you know." Stefan said. "You should be ripe with desire by now."  
Elizabeth shook her head, rolling her eyes.

"You know, while you had the nickname 'Squirrel', I also had a nickname. In law school. You know what it was?"  
"I'm sure you're going to tell me."said Elizabeth.

"They called me 'The grey wolf'." Said Stefan. "Because of my last name, you know. And of course, because I was such a shrewd, intimidating lawyer. Struck fear into the hearts of everyone there. The kind of fear you'd have if you were alone with a wolf in the forest."  
"I think you'd be more like a blond wolf than a grey one. "said Elizabeth. "But I can see how that would work."  
"No, definitely a 'Grey' wolf, Elizabeth." Said Stefan. "A very fearful thing indeed."  
"But I thought you told me that everyone around you, when you got a little more mature, and stopped trying to anger your stepfather, always said what a nice, personable guy you are, Stefan. Including in law school." She looked at him. "I don't think you're a grey wolf. I think you're really a nice guy, with a good heart."  
"I am a nice guy, and it's true that they did say that." Said Stefan. "In law school, I had a roommate one year. He was from India. He said that in his country, the wolf is not regarded as evil, and that I had what he called 'the analog of the wolf'. He said that those with the analog of the wolf are not necessarily evil, unless there is something else in their nature that makes them that way. So. To be a grey wolf is certainly not a bad thing. If you use it for good, that is."

"And you do." Said Elizabeth. "Use it for good."  
"Of course." Said Stefan.

"I see."

"But that's why you're so afraid of me at times, Elizabeth." Said Stefan. "Because I have the nature of the wolf, you see. The analog of the wolf. It's only natural to feel fear around me….but not the kind you would around…Pennywise." He shook his head in disgust.

"Uh huh." Elizabeth said. "And…you _do_ know that Pennywise isn't real, right?"

"Very nice of you to mock my phobia, Elizabeth." Said Stefan. "I have a serious condition, and you make jokes about it. Maybe you're like Pennywise."  
"I'm not." Said Elizabeth. "It was just a joke. I didn't mean to make you feel bad about your fear." She shook her head. "Analog of the wolf." She said. "That's the silliest thing I ever heard."

"Not at all, Lizzie. I'm a grey wolf by nature. And you know what wolves like to hunt a great deal of the time?" Stefan asked.

"No, what?" Elizabeth said.

"Chipmunks."

"Oh, of course." Elizabeth said. "Well, listen, Mr. Grey Wolf, I think…you may have been hunting…a few too many chipmunks over the years." She patted him on the back.

"You're the only chipmunk I want to hunt, Lizzie." Said Stefan.

"I know." Said Elizabeth. "I meant-

"I know what you meant." Said Stefan. "And I chose to ignore it. As one would the inane chatter of a silly chipmunk."  
"Better watch it." Elizabeth said.

"As long as the chipmunk still finds me as…sleek as I was when I first…started hunting her." Stefan said, his eyes searching hers.

"Of course." Said Elizabeth, swallowing. She hugged him, and looked up at him, smiling softly. "Just as sleek."


	3. Chapter 3

When Elizabeth found out that she was pregnant for the first time, she experienced an odd feeling as, pregnant women often do, of loneliness and isolation. Stefan went to work each day, and of course, was a kind and loving husband, but, as Elizabeth stayed at home, she found herself increasingly, and increasingly, longing for a female friend to talk to. Which was something Stefan greatly disapproved of, as he hated socializing of any kind, unless it was work-related, and felt that there was only room for themselves in their lives.

But Elizabeth disagreed at times, she felt that she needed someone to talk to, with an outside perspective. But the closest thing to a female friend that she had was Amy, a friend of hers who had worked with her at the bakery. But Elizabeth had not truly felt a strong connection with Amy, and even felt that Amy had thought of her as being a little weird, and not in a good way either, because of Elizabeth's years-long devotion to their boss, and Elizabeth's ex-boyfriend, Toby. But Amy had moved, out to a small suburb of Illinois, with her husband, in any case, and they had not really kept in touch all that much.

And now, there was only one man Elizabeth was devotedto, and in a much deeper, and more meaningful way than she had ever been to her previous and only boyfriend, in fact, she took a strong interest in Stefan's life, every aspect of it.

She enjoyed hearing about Blane, of course, his best friend in high school, who had, according to Stefan, stopped speaking to him after graduation.

She enjoyed hearing about other male friends of his, never ones as close as Blane, but who also usually faded in and out of his life.

But mostly, there were the girlfriends. Stefan, it seemed, had an anecdote for nearly every occasion, that involved some sort of past lover or girlfriend. And she was curious about them all.

There was Bennie Hansen, his high school girlfriend, who was a well-to-do young woman, who Stefan said resembled Kim Basinger, which she wasn't too keen to hear. Bennie had a sister, Cathy, who Stefan said he had cheated on her with, all throughout high school. Cathy, he said, was more like him than Bennie was, as her life's goal was to try to displease their father, which Cathy did by 'shoveling shit up her nose', as Stefan put it, but, as he pointed out to her, he himself had never done anything harder than marijuana in those days, and, in fact had tried to tell Cathy how stupid she was being by using cocaine, but she didn't listen. He had lost touch with Cathy, but Bennie had actually turned out to be far worse than Cathy, he had met her one day while she was in town visiting her parents. They had had a couple of dates, and had even, spent several nights together, but Bennie, as he later found out, had neglected to mention the fact that she was married, and was using Stefan to get back at her husband, for what turned out to be a minor quarrel. And Stefan was naturally, quite hurt and disappointed with this betrayal, and never spoke to her again.

There was Diana, a fellow law student, who he had dated briefly, but who had broken up with him for Peter, his roommate, citing that Peter was fun, and exciting, and insinuating that Stefan was dull, and boring.

There was Andie, of course. The girl in the pink dress, as Stefan referred to her.

There was a whole host of other women who Stefan had briefly dated before he met her, who just hadn't worked out very well, including, but certainly not limited to, his former secretary, Tricia. Tricia had taken a job at another firm, shortly after Elizabeth and Stefan had gotten married, and now their practice had a male administrative assistant, as they were called now, whose name was Clarence.

And then there was Cynthia. Stefan had indeed had quite a lot of females in his life, but, Cynthia was the only one with whom Stefan had had a serious relationship with. He had been engaged to Cynthia, for two years, perhaps the longest relationship of his life besides herself, in fact.

Of course, it had ended abruptly, and, in a very ugly fashion, when Stefan had found an earring of Cynthia's, in the upstairs bathroom of another attorney, John, who at that time had been a close friend of Stefan's. The two of them had been seeing each other for some time. Stefan, devastated had reacted quite angrily.

"What did you do?" said Elizabeth.

"I had her things shipped to his apartment…that is, what I didn't tear up. I…broke a few of her things. Since childhood, I've had a bad habit of…breaking things, when I got upset. When I was younger, I would break my toys, sometimes. Of course, my stepfather would always punish me for it, usually by locking me in my room for an extended period of time."  
"Oh, Stefan." Elizabeth shook her head. "You shouldn't have broken her things. That lowered you to herlevel."  
"Not really." Stefan shrugged. "I broke a few sculptures of hers, but she broke my heart. At that time, of course. Now, I couldn't care less."  
"I'm glad." Said Elizabeth. "You broke her sculptures? You better hope you don't tear up anything of mine."  
"You'd better be good, then." Stefan said. "And her boots. I cut those up with scissors." He shook his head, and looked thoughtful. "She loved those boots."  
"I'm glad you got such enjoyment out of it." Elizabeth said.

"I did." Said Stefan. "But now I don't care about her, or her boots. I should be thanking her, in fact."He squeezed her hand.

"I guess…" said Elizabeth. "I should be, too." She smiled at him.

"You _guess_ you should?"  
"No…I should be." Said Elizabeth. "But I wonder…why she would do it? Cheat on you with some creep, when you would have loved her for the rest of her life?"  
"I don't know, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "Nor do I care, for that matter."  
But Elizabeth did, sometimes. Sometimes, it bothered her a great deal, especially during those hormone surges, in the last few months. Other things bothered her, too, and she wanted to know a great deal of things. She wanted to know how a person could so easily disown a person he'd known since kindergarten, who'd he'd known to be a deeply lonely, and unhappy individual. She wanted to know why a young woman thought she should so easily be rude to a person who had done nothing to her to upset her, and in addition, though she realized, it was slightly childish, she also wanted to know how the said young woman could reject such a handsome, and more than that, sexy, in her estimation, individual. And, of course, she wanted to know about Cynthia. How someone who had actually lived with Stefan, and known what a terrific person he was, if he was anything like what he was like as she'd known him, could possibly want to throw him over for a crude, and sleazy individual, not to mention a liar, as Stefan had described him to be.

Of course, she took a great deal of what Stefan had said with a grain of salt. Stefan called a lot of people liars, even if they were simply not the sort of person who would readily tell you that 'you could use the exercise' when she was seven months pregnant with twins. And even though she did believe that John and Cynthia were both very sleazy individuals indeed, just by their actions, it went without saying that someone one was being jilted for would seem like the devil incarnate.

So, out of boredom, and curiosity, and perhaps a little flash of insanity, she decided to contact these people. And, thanks to the wonders of Internet search engines, she found addresses for all three of them.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: From this point on, this story is not structured in a linear fashion. Well, sort of, this is not exactly a part of the plot of the story proper, but this is a little episode in the characters' lives that is pretty important, that happens in between later events.**

* * *

It was one day, in late spring, when Elizabeth made a phone call to McDonagh Electric, and had left a message with a secretary there, telling her that she was an old friend of Blane's, who had to get in contact with him immediately. She left their telephone number for him to call back, and was surprised when the phone rang an hour later.

"Hello?" Elizabeth said.

"Yes. Uh…is this Ms. Elizabeth Grey?" said a male voice on the other end, who had a kind of halting quality to it, she noted. "This is Blane McDonagh."

"Yes." Said Elizabeth.

"Uh…you left a message for my secretary, saying that you were an old friend of mine?"  
"Yes." Said Elizabeth. "I…did."  
"Well…" said Blane. "I'm sorry…I…I can't place your name. Where exactly did we meet?"  
"Well…" said Elizabeth. "I'm sort of a…friend…_of_ a friend of yours."  
"Oh." Said Blane. He laughed. "Well-

"You remember….in high school…Stefan? Stefan Grey?" Elizabeth asked.

"Stefan…oh." Blane trailed off. "Steff."  
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "You see…I'm his wife."

"Oh." Said Blane. "Uh…"  
"Steff," she said, using the hated nickname only because she thought that it would jog Blane's memory. "talks about you all the time."  
"Oh?" said Blane. "He does?"  
"A lot, yes. But I was curious."  
"About me?"  
"About Steff. And you. About your friendship." Said Elizabeth. "Does that…bother you?"  
"Bother me?" said Blane. "Well…it wasn't a call I was expecting to get today, but what the heck." He laughed.

"I'm glad, Blane." Elizabeth said, a laughing sound to her voice.

"I'm…glad you're glad." Blane said amusedly, though with a seemingly ubiquitous tone of nervousness in his voice. "What did you want to know?"  
"Well…why haven't you spoken to him for nearly thirty years?"  
Blane laughed. "Uh…well…I guess it was because Steff caused me almost nothing but trouble in the odd…decade of our friendship." He laughed again.

"What kind of trouble did he cause, you Blane?" Elizabeth said conspirationally.

"Well…" said Blane. "Trouble like…setting off fireworks in the neighbor's yard when we were in fifth grade, and getting me to take the rap for it. Trouble like stealing raspberry doughnuts from the neighborhood bakery. Trouble like forcing me to smoke cigarettes, and cigars, too…when I didn't want to. At ten years of age. Trouble like-

"What made you stay friends with him all those years, if he caused you all this trouble, then, Blane?" Elizabeth asked.

"Well, I guess…he was always…a leader. In our class. He had some degree of…pull. That I didn't manage to have all those years ago, with people." He cleared his throat. "That's another thing." He said. "Steff was always calling me a wimp, too. Always berating me about the way I looked, acted, dressed…you name it."  
"I see." Elizabeth said. "But Blane…when you first knew Steff in kindergarten…did he have all this pull? With people?"  
"Well…" Blane trailed off. "Uh…I guess…not at first, no."  
"Was he very shy?"

Blane sighed. "Yeah…I guess he was. Sort of. He was very odd, he rarely spoke to anyone, and he was always off by himself, playing alone. And everyone was sort of…grossed out because he was always-

"Sneezing?" Elizabeth suggested.

"Yep. Yeah, I guess that's true." Blane said. "He was. And everyone was afraid they were going to catch something."  
"Which was silly of course. Because he had allergies."

"Yes. That's right. But, you know. We were five, right?"  
"Of course." Said Elizabeth. "But what about you? Why did you befriend him?"  
"Well, I was shy, too, you know, and…not very cool, as I noted, so…I thought we'd make a good pair."  
"And did you?" said Elizabeth.

"We did." Said Blane. "We had a lot of fun together….that is until he became a little Hitler spawn."

"What about girls?" Elizabeth said. "Did he get with a lot of them? You can tell me, Steff already tells me about all the women he slept with."  
"Uh…" Blane laughed nervously. "Yeah. Yeah, Steff was a man-whore."  
Elizabeth laughed appreciatively. "Yes."

"What does he do now, out of curiosity?"

"Oh…he's a lawyer." Elizabeth said.

"Right. I remember. His stepfather was a lawyer."  
"Your family owns McDonagh Electric?" said Elizabeth.

"Yes. That's…that's right." Said Blane.

"Hmmm." Elizabeth said. "Too bad for Steff that you didn't own a lozenge company, right?"  
Blane started laughing, and she did as well.

"Uh…" said Blane. "I'm sorry…I'm terrible with…what do you mean?"

Elizabeth laughed. "He could…use one is all." She said. "You know…the way Steff sounds like he has throat cancer."

Blane started to laugh, a lot less uncertainly. "Oh…I see. I do know." He said. "Yeah, he has that low….he sounds like the devil."  
Elizabeth laughed, feeling a pang of disloyalty, mixed with a strange excitement. "Yes." She said. "And it's only been exacerbated now, by…well…"

"By what?"

"Well," Elizabeth said, before she could stop herself. "Steff is…really fat now."

"Really." Said Blane. "Hmmm. Didn't picture that."

"Yes. You'd be shocked." Elizabeth said.

"Huh." Blane said. "Does he…um…everything all right at home, there?"He laughed nervously.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes, but said sweetly. "Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know." Said Blane. "Just a…just a thought."  
Elizabeth sniffed. "I just thought you should know."

"That he's really fat now?" Blane said. "Well, thanks. Thanks for telling me. I thought I might…die if I didn't know."  
"No, I thought you should know…that Steff feels really hurt about….your estrangement. He valued your friendship, and….he's a different person now. He's made a lot of changes, and…he's a good man." Elizabeth said. "And everything is all right at home. Steff is a wonderful husband. Of course. I only said he was fat because…I like the danger that he might find out. I'm…bored, and crave excitement, you see."  
"So he's not really fat, then?" Blane said.

"Oh, no. He's fat." Said Elizabeth. "Well, more like…chubby, than out and out fat."

Blane began to laugh. "Oh, my goodness. Okay. Hard to know what to say to that." He sighed. "But…to the other, I say…well, I'm not too sure that Steff really valued our friendship that much, Elizabeth."  
"I am." Said Elizabeth. "Even back then, with all his flaws…he had sense enough to realize that you were the only true friend he had, Blane."  
"I don't know, Elizabeth." Said Blane. "All that was a long time ago, you know."  
"Is there…some other reason you're angry at Steff, Blane?" Elizabeth asked.

"What do you mean?" Blane said.

"Well…was there…was there a girl?"

"Yeah." Blane said. "Yeah, there was a girl."  
"A redhead?" Elizabeth said.

"She was. Andie." Said Blane. "I guess…he must have told you that."  
"He did." Elizabeth said. "But Blane. He told me that Andie liked _you_, and didn't like him at all."  
"Right." Said Blane.

"So…what do you have to be so angry about?" Elizabeth asked. "It wasn't you who was rejected, was it?"  
"No." said Blane. He sighed. "He acted like a real ass, though, always putting her down. She's a great girl. Always was. Still is, I'm sure."

"You haven't…seen her in awhile?" Elizabeth bit her lip.

"I saw her at our twentieth high school reunion a long time back. She and her husband. Didn't see Steff there, incidentally."  
"Well, I can't imagine he would be." Elizabeth said. "For a number of reasons."

" Yes. Well…he really showed his true colors back then. Trying to tell me she was trash, and that I shouldn't date outside my income class, stuff like that."  
"He liked her, Blane." Said Elizabeth. "Surely you must know that."  
"Yeah, I know." Said Blane.

"So if he wanted to date her first, you should have known that he didn't really believe all that stuff he was saying about poor people and whatnot."

"I guess." Said Blane. "That didn't make it any easier, then, though."  
"Well, why didn't you stand up to him? In a reasonable way? Tell him to mind his own business."  
"I don't know." Blane said. "I was afraid of what he would have done."  
"What would he have done?"  
"He'd probably have asked me who the fuck I thought I was talking to."

"And…?" Elizabeth said. "That's it?"

"I don't know."  
"That's what you were so afraid of?"  
"Well, everyone around the school knew, Elizabeth, that there were few people you'd meet that were as unpleasant as Steff."  
"But you knew he had problems. You knew his parents…weren't the best people."

"Well, we all have a sad story, I guess." Said Blane. He sighed.

"You just decided not to speak to him anymore? For thirty years?"  
"After high school." Said Blane. "I decided it was best we go our separate ways. We didn't really have anything in common anymore."  
Elizabeth sighed. "Are you still…angry with him about…Andie?"  
"No. No, I'm not angry with anybody I knew thirty years ago, Elizabeth." Blane said. He paused for a minute, and then said. "I guess…I hate to say it, but I realized to myself that he was…a bad seed, of sorts."  
"Watch it." Elizabeth said, placing her hand over her round, bulging abdomen where the two babies resided. "That's very untrue."  
"Well, Elizabeth." Said Blane. "He was hell-bent on destroying himself to make his parents angry. And he might not mean to, but he would take anyone down in his path. Me included, so...I didn't need that."

"I see." Elizabeth said, sadly. It was a struggle for her not to cry, a lot of times, these days, whether it was for a legitimate reason or not, which at this moment she felt that she did.

"Blane…" she said. "Can I tell you something?"  
"Uh…sure." Blane said.

Elizabeth moistened her lip, sniffling. "When…when Steff was twenty, he…" She shook her head. "I shouldn't be…but I wanted you to know…he doesn't know I'm doing this, you know."  
"Oh." Said Blane.

"Calling you. Contacting…anyone from his past." She took a deep breath. "And he'd freak out if he did."  
"I bet he would." Said Blane.

"I mean…he'd freak out, because he's…paranoid. About talking to people outside our…household. He's very….inwardly focused, you see."

"Oh." Blane said. "I'm surprised. He was always around people when we were in high school."  
"Yes. Well." Elizabeth said. "Anyway, as unwise as it may seem…I thought you should know…just for your information."  
"Okay." Blane said. "I'm listening."  
"I…it's true that when Steff was younger, he did a lot of things that were very…immoral. And self-destructive. And that…took its toll on him…I guess. And he…he had had a lot of things happen. His mother died, and he'd had a girlfriend that had had an abortion, without telling him, and…anyway. He was depressed a lot, in college. I mean, clinically." She sniffed. "He told me that when he was twenty, he tried to…cut his wrists. And…I guess, after that…it was a wakeup call."

"Oh." Said Blane. "Well…"  
"He didn't tell me to tell you this, you know." Elizabeth said.

"No, I know." Said Blane quietly.

"You ever read Stephen King, Blane?"  
"I'm sure I did at least once. Why?"  
"Well, in _The Stand_, there's this observation made by this character called Larry Underwood, where he says he's seen people who are in a bad way, in the case of the person in the book, drugs, but it could be applied to other situations, 'come out the other side'." Said Elizabeth." And…I think…that Stefan had to…come out the other side. Back then. Before he could turn his life around, and make the choices he made, that made him into the man he is today. Which is a very good man, Blane."

"I'm sure." Said Blane. "I'm…I'm glad, that he's doing well, I mean, he's a lawyer, and…well…he's got a wife. You have any kids?"  
"We will." Said Elizabeth. "In July."  
"Oh." Said Blane. "Oh, so you're pregnant."  
"I am." Said Elizabeth.

"Well, congratulations, I guess." Said Blane.

"Thanks." Elizabeth said. "You have any kids?"  
"I do." Said Blane. "Two daughters."  
"That's very nice."Elizabeth said.

"It is." Said Blane. "This your first baby?"  
"Yes." Said Elizabeth.

"Well, like I said, I'm glad he's found someone to have a family with." Blane said. "Kind of a strange someone, but…"  
"You think I'm strange?" Elizabeth said.

"In the nicest way." Blane said.

"I see." Elizabeth said. "Because I called and talked to you?"  
"Sort of. And because of some of the stuff you said. I mean, not the last part…the uh…" He cleared his throat. "

"Because I said he was fat? Steff?"  
"Things like that. Yes." Blane said.

"Well, he is."

"Well, come to think of it, he was always eating a lot of the time, when I was around him, so I guess it caught up with him."  
"Or saying some witticism about food?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact." Blane said.

"Yes." Elizabeth said. "And I'm a baker, so…"  
"Oh." Blane said. He tsked. "It's your fault."  
"Maybe it is." Elizabeth said.

Blane laughed. "Well." He said. "This has been quite an interesting conversation, Elizabeth."

"For me, too." Elizabeth said.

"Good luck, with…everything." Blane said. "The baby."  
"Thank you." Elizabeth said. "Same. Good luck with your life, too. And…think about giving your old friend a call, will you?"

"Maybe so." Blane said. "Maybe I will, Elizabeth."

It was late the following October, and the twins were three months old, when the phone rang. Elizabeth picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Hello there." A male voice, with a semi-laughing undertone said. "It's Blane. Remember me?"

"Of course." Elizabeth said.

"Of course." Said Blane. "Well, um…I was just checking. Calling back to see how things were. With you, and, uh…Steff."  
"Good. They're good." Elizabeth said.

"Good. Have that baby?" Blane said.

"Yes." Elizabeth said. "Two, in fact. Twins."  
"Oh, twins. Wow." Blane said. "Bet you're busy."  
"I am. We are." Elizabeth said. "Did you think what I said over? About calling your friend?"  
"I did, actually." Blane said.

"And…?"  
"And here's what I'd like to do. I'd like us all to have dinner some night, so we can catch up. The two of you, and myself and my wife. What do you say?"  
"I say…I'll have to talk that over with Steff, Blane." Elizabeth said. "He might…be reticent to, at first."

"Of course." Blane said. "Well, talk it over with him, then, and see what he says."

"So, he just called." Stefan said. "Out of the blue?"  
"Well, not out of the blue." Elizabeth said. "He said next year is your…thirtieth reunion, and he got to thinking about how good it would be to see you again. He'd like to catch up."  
"Would he?" said Stefan. "Well, I don't want to catch up with him."

"It'd be good for you, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "To see your old friend again."  
"Why?" said Stefan.

"So you two can…talk over old times, and…get to see what each other is like now."  
"Old times when he said I was shit?"  
"Come on." Said Elizabeth. "That was one incident. You had a lot of other good times together besides that." She stroked his arm.

Stefan sighed. "Why are you Little Miss…Cheerleader, all of a sudden, Elizabeth?" he said.

"What?" Elizabeth said.

"I mean…what is it with the phony, overly cheerful, sales pitch-like tone you've got in your voice, all of a sudden? I don't like it."  
"What are you talking about, Stefan?" Elizabeth said. "You're sounding a little…crazy. Need some meds?"  
"It just sounds like the tone of liar, to me." Stefan said. Elizabeth shook her head. "You could hardly be unaware of the fact that I wouldn't find such a situation pleasant at all. You know very well that Blane and I haven't spoken for almost thirty years. Why are you pretending as though none of that matters?"  
"I'm not." Said Elizabeth.

"Sometimes, you sound like someone I don't even know, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.

"What do you mean?" said Elizabeth.

"I mean that you sound like you're trying to put up a front, Lizzie." Said Stefan. "I wish that you would just be straightforward with me. Why are you always trying to goad me into doing things I don't want to do, and pretend that it's good for me, and that _I _want to do it."  
"Is that what you think of me?" Elizabeth said. "That I _pretend _that I think it's good for you?"

"I think things like this are really what _you_ want, is all, Lizzie."

"Well, it's not." Elizabeth said. "I want to help you. I want to try to reunite you with your old friend, is all." She sniffed. "I'm doing this for you, and you accuse me of…of pretending that I want to help you."  
Stefan sighed. "Lizzie…I appreciate your wanting to help, I really do." He shook his head. "Did you…talk with him? Blane?"  
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I did, as a matter of fact."

"And did he ask who you were? To me?"

"He did." Said Elizabeth. "I told him I was your wife. Who couldn't remember all that stuff that happened with you…because…well, I was one year old."

"Did you now?" said Stefan. "Of course you did."  
Elizabeth smiled, shaking her head. "No, not really." She sighed. "We don't have to. I'll tell him no. He asked me to call back, when I spoke to you."  
"What else did you talk about, with him?" said Stefan.

"I told him…we had twin girls." Said Elizabeth. "And that you were a lawyer now. Stuff like that."  
"Not getting too chummy, were you?" Stefan said. "With him?"  
"Of course not." Elizabeth said. "Why, are you afraid I'll…like him better, like-

"Don't be stupid, Elizabeth." Stefan said irritably. "I just know how…overly curious you can be about things such as this."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Must you talk about me like I'm some…pet, or a baby, or mildly retarded?"

"I was doing no such thing, Lizzie." He shook his head. "It might be…interesting, I suppose."  
"You mean…you want to do it?" said Elizabeth. "You want to meet up with him again?"  
"I guess." Said Stefan. He shook his head. "I just can't figure out for the life of me, what would make him call after all these years."

Elizabeth began to feel that nervous, prickly feeling, that she always felt, when she was trying to hide something from Stefan, which, wasn't often, but when she did, the feeling of dread inside was almost tangible. She didn't want Stefan to know that it was she who had contacted Blane, there would almost certainly be hell to pay if he did, and besides, she truly wanted him to believe that it had been Blane's idea, that Blane had truly missed him after all these years, because she did want the two to become good friends again.

But Stefan, to her relief, was not giving her any grey wolf-like looks, as he surely would have been doing, if he suspected her of even withholding an iota of information from him. Instead, he looked lost in thought, and a little sad. She cleared her throat.

"I guess…" she said. "Maybe he's always…hoped you'd still be friends after all these years. Someday."  
"Maybe." Stefan said.

"You should tell him…how everybody calls you the grey wolf now." Elizabeth said. "What a kick-ass attorney you are now. Make sure he knows…you're not to be reckoned with." She bit her lip, unsettling thoughts that she'd had about the dubious nobility of Blane's reasons for returning her call resurfacing, which she had been pushing to the back of her mind all day.

"I guess." Said Stefan.

"Yes." Elizabeth said. She put her hand on his. "You're so…fearsome, that sometimes, even I'm afraid."  
"Really." Stefan said. He smiled wryly at her. "Why is it I can't get you to behave the way I want you to, then?"  
"I know it seems that way." Elizabeth said. She bit her lip. "But…I'm really terrified. I can only hope that you'll be quelled by the fact that…I'm everything a big, bad wolf could want." She put her hand on his.

"Indeed you are." Stefan said. He smoothed back her hair. "And what…big, lovely blue eyes you have, Lizzie."

Elizabeth smiled, but a mischievous light danced in her blue eyes. "Why, Grandmother." Elizabeth said. "What especially…bad emphysema you seem to be having today."

"Best watch yourself." Said Stefan. "I tear the throats out of rabbits. I might tear the throats out of chipmunks, too, if the mood strikes."

"Well." Said Elizabeth to Blane, over the phone the next day. "He's agreed for us all to have dinner. I'm happy to say."  
"Good." Said Blane.

"Yes." Said Elizabeth. She bit her lip. "I…certainly…hope you won't tell him. How I said he's fat, before."

"Oh, I wouldn't do that." Blane said, but she picked up on a faint trace of laughter in his voice.

"I'm glad." Said Elizabeth. "Because…if you did, I'd…I'd have to tell him how you said he was a man-whore."  
"I said that?" Blane said. He laughed. "I guess I did. But what about how _you_ said he sounds like he's got throat cancer?"

"Hmmm." Elizabeth said. "Looks like I've got more to be afraid of than you do."  
"Doesn't it, though?" said Blane. "Throat cancer. That's pretty good, though. I won't soon forget that."  
"I'm glad it…amused you, Blane." Elizabeth said. She bit her lip.

"Don't worry." Said Blane. "Secret's safe with me."  
"I'm glad." Said Elizabeth. "Wouldn't want to do anything…to damage your reunion with your old friend, now would you?"  
"No." said Blane. "No, I wouldn't."  
"In all seriousness…" said Elizabeth. "Steff can't know that it was me who first contacted you."  
"Why not?" said Blane.

"Because…I'd like him to think that you really felt pangs of auld lang syne."  
"Old anxiety?" Blane said.

"No, I said-

"I know." Blane said. "Mine is more accurate, though."

"Still afraid of Steff, Blane?" said Elizabeth. "After all these years?"  
"No, I'm not afraid of Steff." Blane said. "That's a certainty."  
"That would be pretty silly." Said Elizabeth. "Wouldn't it?"  
"Sure would." Said Blane. "But in all seriousness, Elizabeth…it was all my idea. Okay?"  
"Yes, it was." Said Elizabeth. "And you do. Want to talk with Steff again. Right?"  
"I do." Said Blane. A moment's silence passed.

"You…care about Steff a lot." Said Blane. "I can tell."  
"Yes." Said Elizabeth. "Very much."  
"You know…" Blane said. "You…have a very lovely voice. I thought so when you called before."

"Oh." Said Elizabeth. A feeling of unease stirred inside her. "Thanks, I guess."  
"The way you sound reminds me a little of that actress, Drew Barrymore. You know the one?"  
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "Of course. And she was…in _Firestarter_ and _Cat's Eye_. Two Stephen King adaptations, you know."  
"Oh, really?" said Blane. "I didn't know that. That's interesting."  
"Yes. As a child." Said Elizabeth. She cleared her throat. "Steff always says I…have a very girlish sounding voice."

"I'm sure he does." Said Blane.

"He always says…I look like a chipmunk, too." Said Elizabeth. "Because I have round cheeks."  
"Sounds like him." Blane said. "He always said…I reminded him of an adult embryo, featurewise. I remember that."

Elizabeth laughed.

"But of course, that was in…tenth grade. I'm sure I…won't be hearing that sort of thing when we have dinner. Right?"  
"Hopefully not." Said Elizabeth. "Helen, this paralegal who works for him, said to me that she thinks he's a lovely person. Those were her words. And she was right. He is."

"Uh…glad to know." Said Blane. "So…Saturday then?"

"Yes." Said Elizabeth. "Saturday."  
"And I hope," Elizabeth said, after they settled on a time and place to meet for dinner. "that you'll enjoy seeing your old friend again. Didn't you ever…hope to meet him again, someday?"  
"I always thought that I might." Said Blane. "Of course I can't say that without adding…I always have been somewhat of a pessimist."  
"Have you?" said Elizabeth.

"Just a little joke, Elizabeth."

"Very little." Said Elizabeth.

"I don't know. I think you thought it was pretty funny." Said Blane. "I'm sure you know better than anybody…that Steff can be kind of a pain."  
"Well…" said Elizabeth. "I believe that a more joyful life can be achieved…when you learn to embrace every spectrum of life. Including pain."

"Of course." Said Blane. "Good…philosophy. I'll remember it, when I'm having to deal with Steff, this week. Which was my idea. Of course. But you and I know…you're the puppeteer, orchestrating this whole thing, don't we? You're the one pulling the strings, of us reuniting."  
"Oh, Blane." Said Elizabeth. "Sweet little Lizzie wouldn't try to put strings on Steff, don't you know that?"  
"No, I…don't suppose she would." Said Blane. "I don't suppose she would."

The next Saturday, Elizabeth and Stefan left the twins with a sitter, and headed for the restaurant where they were meeting Blane and his wife. Stefan looked quite tense, and was still very apprehensive about the whole thing.

"I'd like us to have a code." Stefan said, on their way in the car. "In case we need to leave. If I feel that we need to leave."  
Elizabeth sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Stefan, is that really nec-

"Yes!" Stefan snapped, a harsh, tense tone in his voice that always made her feel a kind of queasy trepidation, though not for herself, but rather for him, since he sounded frighteningly close to a nervous breakdown at these times, to her.

"It's necessary." He said more calmly. "If I feel like…things are going sour. And he…might pose a threat. Of any kind. To us. That they might."  
"Okay." Said Elizabeth.

"We'll need to have a code. A code word." Said Stefan. "What should it be?"

"I don't know, Stefan." Said Elizabeth. "What…do you think it should be?"

"What about…orchid?" said Stefan. "Like the one I have in my office. If I say the word 'orchid' to you, at any time during dinner, you'll excuse yourself to the restroom. And…after returning, you'll say to…Blane, and his wife, that the babysitter called to say that she can't get one of the babies to stop crying, and needs us to come home, immediately. After which we'll say our goodbyes, and then leave."

Elizabeth sighed. "Why can't I just…go to the restroom, and then say that, if-

"Because it would be my call to make, Elizabeth." Stefan said, looking at her as though she'd just said something staggeringly illogical and absurd.

"Oh. I see." Said Elizabeth. "So we need a code word. For…that."  
"Of course we do." Said Stefan.

"Think we'll need it?" Elizabeth said.

"I hope not, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "But it never hurts to be prepared, does it?"  
"I guess it doesn't." she said. She glanced at him. "You nervous?"

"I am." Said Stefan. "Very."  
"Why?" said Elizabeth.

"Because…" Stefan said. "This is…this is a very unusual situation. For me. And also, this is a person who I…have very mixed feelings towards, Elizabeth."  
Elizabeth sighed. She patted his arm. "Don't be nervous, Stefan."

"Elizabeth, I'd rather you didn't…touch me, in public." Stefan said.

Elizabeth laughed incredulously, her tongue in the side of her mouth, and gazed in the direction of her window, at a car that was parked next to them in the restaurant parking lot of the restaurant at which they were meeting Blane. "Really." She said.

"Elizabeth." Stefan said. "This is serious." He put his hands against the steering wheel, gripping it tightly. Almost in a death grip, in fact. Elizabeth swallowed, licking her lips nervously, looking at how white his knuckles were at that moment.

"Stefan, don't you think you better…take it easy?" she said apprehensively, hesitating before saying her next sentence. "I mean, don't you think a man of your…substance-

"Substance?" Stefan said. He looked at her like she was crazy.

"I mean…" Elizabeth said. "Aren't you worried a man of your age, and we-

"Oh." Stefan said. "Oh, I see. More fat jokes, of course. Nice, huh? Very adult."

"What joke?" Elizabeth said. "Stefan, I'm not joking. I'm worried that you might have a stroke right now. Who would help me take care of Amy and Fran?"

"Oh, please, Elizabeth." Stefan said. He shook his head.

"Well." Elizabeth said. "I know you said that I can't touch you, but I'm really worried about how on edge you seem, Stefan."  
"Don't worry, Lizzie." Said Stefan. He still looked like he was in a fog, and about to lose his mind, simultaneously. Elizabeth gazed at him worriedly, shaking her head.

"Here," she said, reaching into her purse. "Have a mint." She held out a tin in his direction, shaking it towards him.  
"Why?" Stefan said accusatorily. "You're saying I have bad breath?"  
"Oh, my word." Elizabeth said in disbelief, covering her eyes up with a hand for a moment to recover herself. She let out a breath. "No." she said in response. "I'm not. I just thought a mint might calm you down. That's all."

Stefan looked at her, somewhat remorsefully. He wordlessly opened the lid of the tin, unfortunately, a second later, his hand slipped, knocking the tin from her hand, spilling mints all over the floor of the car. Stefan's shoulders sagged, for a moment. He shook his head, and silently began picking the spilled mints off the floor.

"Stefan." Elizabeth said worriedly. "Stefan!"  
"What?" Stefan said irritably.

"Stefan, listen to me. You're a grey wolf." Stefan sighed, shaking his head, putting the spilled mints back in the tin. "Stefan, would you forget about those stupid mints for just one second."  
"You want them ground into the carpet? Because I don't." Stefan said.

"That's not what matters right now." Elizabeth said. She put her hands on his shoulders. "I hate to defy orders, but…"  
Stefan looked at her, a faint hint of a doleful smile on his face. "Uh huh."  
"Stefan." Elizabeth said. "For goodness sakes. You're a grown man. Not only a grown man, but…well, you know. A predatory animal." She shook her head. "You're going to let yourself be unbent by a…mere…embryo?"  
Stefan let out a short chuckle, shaking his head. "Oh, it's not him, Elizabeth, it's…" He trailed off. "Well, maybe it is. After all, this is a person…I haven't seen for a long time, who my last dealings with were…very hostile, and unpleasant. You can see why I might be a little insecure about things."

"Well, stop being insecure." Elizabeth said. "You're a very successful, intelligent…respectable, charming guy. You have nothing to worry about."  
"Maybe not." Stefan said. He looked at the floor sadly for a moment, then looked suddenly at her. "I have one thing he doesn't, don't I? I have you."  
"Yes." Said Elizabeth. "You have me. You really do."

"Of course," Stefan said tersely. "If you don't want me to be insecure about seeing Blane, maybe it would help if you didn't talk about 'a man of your substance'. Think it might?" He glanced at her abruptly, shaking his head, a sardonic, and also incredulous, sort of what she would term a leer on his face.

"Stefan, I was genuinely worrying you might have a heart attack or a stroke or something. I worry about you, being overweight like you are."  
"Please, Elizabeth." Stefan said. He made a scoffing noise, then glance over at her. "There was _amusement_ in your voice. You greatly enjoyed saying it."  
"Oh, there was not." Elizabeth said.

"There was."  
"Maybe that was something else." Elizabeth said. "After all, you know how turned on I get by chubby-

"All right, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "Could you at least put a lid on that sort of thing, until we get this over with, please?"

"All right." She shrugged. "Besides, you haven't seen what Blane looks like now, himself. He could be chubby, for all you know."

Blane was not, as she saw, when he approached them in the front of the restaurant, chubby. Just the opposite, in fact, he was quite slender. A bit too, in fact, in her opinion.

"Well." Blane said when he saw them, smiling cordially. "Steff."

"Blane." Stefan replied stiffly.

"It's great to see you." Said Blane. He smiled, beckoning in the direction of the woman beside him, a tall, fortyish blonde, with a slight pug nose, though otherwise very attractive, and, like him, well-dressed. "This is my wife, Patty."  
Patty extended her hand towards Stefan. "Hello." She said. "Blane has told me so much about you. He's really looked forward to this. Seeing you again."

"Oh." Stefan said. "Well-" He interrupted himself by sneezing loudly.

"Oh, my goodness." Said Patty. She smiled worriedly. "Well-"  
"Allergies?" Blane said to Stefan, smiling.

"Yes, yes." Stefan replied resignedly. He shook his head.

"Of course." Blane said. "I remember. See?"

"Glad of it." Stefan said, cutting his eyes to Blane grimly. He cleared his throat, remembering himself, and smiled apologetically at Patty.

"But, I'm very sorry about that, Patty, it isn't exactly a terrific way to be greeted by anyone, is it?" He smiled a brisk, though by no means cold, smile at her.

"Don't be." Patty said smiling. "No offense taken."  
"Of course," Stefan said. "This is my wife, Elizabeth, Patty, and…Blane." He said, raising an eyebrow in ever so slight disdain at the last word.

Patty smiled, and said hello, as did Blane, extending his hand in greeting, and his face offered no trace of the slightly snarky nature of their phone conversations, and less so any editorializations either of them had made regarding their mutual acquaintance. Instead, he smiled, a polite, unassuming smile at her, though she thought she saw a slight gleam of knowing avidity in his eye, upon closer inspection.

"Elizabeth. Of course." Blane said. "We spoke on the phone, I recall. Blane McDonagh."

"Nice to meet you, Blane." Elizabeth replied, also betraying no sign of their prior exchanges, a calm, courteous smile decorating her face.

"So you're a lawyer." Blane said, when they were seated at a table. "Elizabeth tells me you and her father are partners?"  
"Yes." Stefan said. "That's right." He glanced morosely down at his plate.

Elizabeth looked at him, pursing her lips, and then looked back at Blane and Patty. "That's how we met, you see." She said. "My dad wanted me to get together with Stefan. He thinks he's a swell guy, but I wasn't so sure. At first." She looked at Stefan, who looked perpetually sour, and also as though he was about to have a tooth extracted. She smiled, a tight-lipped smile, and shrugged, looking at Blane, who smiled, still politely, but she could see a few traces of that amused sound she'd heard on the phone, starting to seep through on his face. His eyes flickered to his glass.

"But," Elizabeth continued. "I came around. And everything's lovely. And has been, for the past three years."  
"Really?" Blane said, smiling at her, but his eyes flicked to Stefan. "Dads…think you're a great guy, Steff?" He cleared his throat. "Don't…remember that happening often, way back when."

"Well, they all loved you, though, didn't they, Blane?" Stefan said flatly. "You're a guy they can all take home to their fathers." He glanced in the direction of the wall.

"Oh, I don't know about that, right, Patty?" Blane said, looking at his wife. Patty laughed uncertainly, casting a puzzled glance over at Stefan briefly.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "Yes. You guys ever read Stephen King?"

"Oh, dear, he we go." Stefan said, shaking his head, and saying something in a lower tone of voice that she couldn't quite make out.

"What was that?" Elizabeth said, turning to him.

"Uh..I believe he said, 'Indoctrinate them, why don't you.'" Said Blane. "Elizabeth."  
"Oh." Said Elizabeth, looking at Stefan, who wouldn't meet her eyes. "Oh. I see. That's very nice." She sniffed. "Well. I'm glad you translated it for me, Blane."

"Yes." Blane said.

"Lord knows, sometimes we've all got to…crank our old hearing aids up to eleven, whenever Stefan speaks in his lower register. It can be an arduous difficulty, at first, though." She looked at him, smiling sweetly. He did not return her smile. Blane, she noticed, had a hand pressed to his temple, and was barely suppressing a smile. He straightened up quickly however.

"Yes." Blane said. "Well…glad to help." He cleared his throat, glancing at Patty again, who continued to look uncomfortable.

"Anyway, I was about to say, that my dad and everyone around their law practice called Stefan 'Mr. Grey', which, I happened to know, was the name of the alien villain in the book _Dreamcatcher_."

"Oh, I've seen that movie." Blane said. "Morgan Freeman, right?"  
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "It's a good movie. Good book, too. One of my favorites. But I was apprehensive of Stefan, because of this."  
"I see." Said Blane. "Sounds about on target to me."

"Well, he is weird and a little scary…but I don't _think_ he wants to put alien worms in the water. I don't _think_."

"You never can tell." Said Blane.

"Indeed." Elizabeth said. "No, of course, it's very true, like dad, and Helen, and Clarence, those are people that work for them, not to mention all the clients, say, he's a good lawyer, and a good man." She looked down at the table, biting her lip.

"No, no, I was just kidding, Steff, of course Elizabeth is right. You're a good man, and I'm sure you're a very good law-

"Am I?" Stefan interrupted. "I thought I was shit."

"What?" Blane said.

"Isn't that one of the last things you said to me, before you decided not to speak to me again? At our senior prom, as I recall it."  
"Steff, I don't know." Blane said tiredly. "I don't even remember."

"Well, I do." Said Stefan. "I remember it quite well. I remember the name of the baker that I stole raspberry bismarcks from, in the sixth grade, and you don't think I'd remember a thing like what you said?"

"Oh, well, since you brought up the subject Steff, now I do remember his name. Mr. Zapota." He took a sip of water. "Know what else, I remember, is the inside of my room, for an entire month, after he told my mother what we did. Because _you _talked me into being your accomplice, friend. That I do remember."  
"So." Said Stefan. "Why didn't you ever have the guts to stand up to me, then Blane? _Or_ your mother, for that matter?"  
"Because you wouldn't let me. You practically told me what toothpaste to use. You were hell to deal with, Steff, and as for my mother, she is truly irrelevant to this conversation. And-

"You're right. It is irrelevant." Stefan said. "Let's get back on the subject of how you behaved about that, girl, what was her name?"  
"Oh, you know, _very_ well, what her name is, Steff." Said Blane, shaking his head.

"You're right." Stefan said. "I certainly do. And I can plainly see exactly how smashing that one worked out for you, didn't it, Blane? I can see right, in front of my face, that she's your true soul mate, the only woman you could ever be with in your life. No offense, Patty."  
"Well, none taken, but-"

"Well, that's hardly the point, now, is it Steff?" Blane interrupted his wife. "The point is that she was a decent girl, and you behaved like a perfect shitheel…no offense meant, Elizabeth."

"Uh-"

"Oh, there's no need to treat Elizabeth like a delicate sugar plum, Blane, I'm sure she's heard the word 'shitheel', before, and-"  
"From you?" said Blane, as Patty adjusted her earring, and Elizabeth rested one side of her head on her hand, and stared into space.  
"Maybe." Said Stefan. "But truly, I don't care about Andie, or anyone else you dated, for that matter. What matters to me, is the fact that you decided not to speak to me for thirty years." He shook his head.

"Steff," Blane said. "You didn't exactly make life easy for me, back in those days, you know." He shook his head. "In fact, Andie wasn't the only one that you tried to tell me not to date, not to hang out with, not to this, not to that. And your favorite thing to do was to get me in trouble with my parents. Oh, oh, and then-" Blane said, over some none-too-subtle sighs of frustration from Patty. "And then, you would always be trying to use my fear of the same parents you railed against for keeping me under lock and key, against me. Threatening me with what they would think, and how I better step lively, lest my parents find out something _I _wanted to do, that _you_ didn't want me to do. Including date Andie."  
"Well-"  
"Let's face it, you were a real bully, Steff." Said Blane. "You've got a real bullying personality there. Guess that's why you became an attorney, huh?"  
"Well, why did you have such a fear of your parents, Blane?" said Stefan. "Answer me that. Why did you care so much what they thought? Do you still?"  
"That's an entirely inappropriate question, Steff, and anyway, it was none of your business then, and it certainly isn't now."  
"I guess the answer is yes, then." Said Stefan.

"That mouth of yours has gotten you into a world of trouble, and it seems you haven't done much to clamp it down, Steff." Blane shook his head in irritation.

"And why did you care so much about what I and our friends thought of you dating Andie, anyway?" Stefan said. "I seem to recall you breaking up with her, before prom, all on your own? I didn't force you to do that."  
"Well, you might as well have, Steff."  
"Yeah, yeah, sure." Said Steff. "Because you have…had no will of your own. You were spineless, Blane." He shook his head. "I seem to remember Andie whaled the tar out of you in the hall for breaking up with her. Remember that?"

Patty cleared her throat. "You know what, _boys_." She said pointedly. "I think we really need to change the subject now. Why don't we talk about something a little more pleasant?" She looked from one to the other.

"Indeed." Elizabeth said. "Change the subject. Please."

"Well, since we were asked so nicely, Blane, what do you say we just let it go?" Stefan said.

"You're the boss, Steff." Said Blane. "As always."

"Thank you." Stefan said dryly. There was an awkward silence for a moment. "How _are_ Bill and Joyce doing, anyway?" Stefan said.

"Oh, they're just fine, Steff." Blane said. "Dad's in his seventies now, but he still heads up the board of directors. Still active. Still plays tennis every week. Still married to Mom, of course. They just celebrated their golden anniversary last year, in fact."  
"Good. That's good." Stefan said quietly. He paused for a moment, before adding. "And you, you're the…vice president? Of McDonagh Electric?"

"Yes." Blane said. "That's right."  
"Well." Said Stefan. "I'm…I'm glad, Blane. I'm glad to hear that."

"Thank you." Blane said. "I'm glad, too..it's…I'm lucky. To have the life I do, with…with Patty, and the girls, and my job. It's a great thing." He looked down at the table.

"Of course it is. It's a great thing. Work, and family." He placed his hand over Elizabeth's.

"Yes. Very much." Said Blane. "How's…how are your…parents, Steff?"  
"Well, my mother died when I was in college, and my stepfather and I haven't spoken since. He disowned me, in fact." He sighed, and shook his head. "I saw this Far Side cartoon once, with the caption 'Classic Conversation Stoppers'. I guess I've always got one ready, don't I?"

"No, not at all…I for one don't think so, Steff." Patty volunteered, looking at Blane. "Do you?"  
"No, no." Blane said.

"Oh, come on now Blane. In fact, I think that that used to be my nickname. Conversation Stopper Steff, they called me."  
"Yeah…yeah, that and a few other things." Said Blane.

"Indeed." Said Stefan, but he looked at Blane reprovingly. "But I guess…a _lot _of people in my life stopped speaking to me. Didn't they?" Patty cleared her throat. "But of course, I guess we're not allowed to talk about that."  
"Probably best we don't, Steff." Blane said. He looked at Steff, a frowning little sadly, and looked as though he were going to say something else, but didn't.

"So." Said Steff, after the waitress brought the meal. "I thought you left Chicago."  
"Well, I did, but funny thing, they allowed me to come back, Steff." He shook his head. "No, I lived in Washington, D.C., for awhile, that's where I went to school. Then I worked in various in jobs, in sales for awhile, before I went to work for my dad."  
"Did you enjoy doing that?" Stefan asked. "Being a salesman?"  
"I did." Said Blane. "I try to…have a positive outlook about everything I do. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right, right?"

"Of course." Said Stefan. "And Patty..? How did you two meet?"  
"We met in college, through a mutual friend of ours, what was his name? Bill? Bill…?"  
"Hicks." Patty replied.

"Hicks. Right. Bill Hicks. Not to be confused with the comedian of the same name." said Blane.

"Oh, that comedian." Elizabeth said. "You know, he always reminded me of Stefan, a bit."

"Oh, well, I hadn't thought of that, but maybe." Said Blane.

"And of course, he had a lot of the same politics as Stefan has, very left-wing." Elizabeth said. "Very…anti-marketing, anti-corporate. Stuff like that."  
"Oh." Said Blane. "Yeah. Well, he was really funny. Was. He's dead, isn't he?"  
"Yeah, he died of cancer, way back when. I remember that. I was in high school, I think."  
"Cancer, yeah. Too bad." Blane shook his head, his eyes flickered on hers for a second, and then she saw a faint amused expression on his face again.

"Yeah, what kind of cancer did he die of, anyway?" said Blane. "Elizabeth?"

"Hmmm?" Elizabeth said. "What kind?"  
"Yeah." Said Blane. He paused for a moment, and looked like he was considering. "What kind? Of cancer?"  
"Oh…I believe it was pancreatic." Elizabeth replied. She looked at him. "Why?"

"Oh…well, he was always smoking onstage, so I thought it might be another kind. Like uh…throat, maybe." He looked at her.

"No, no, I'm pretty sure it was pancreatic, Blane." Elizabeth said. She studiously avoided looking at Stefan, in the vain hope that he might not take notice.

"Oh, really." Blane said innocently. "Huh. Could've sworn I heard it was throat cancer. Oh, well." He smiled at her. Elizabeth shook her head.

Stefan patted Elizabeth's hand. "I see someone's catty little mouth has been quite busy, Lizzie."

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "Stefan likes to instill a sense of dread." She informed Blane, looking at him pointedly.

"Oh." Blane said uncomfortably. He looked at the table, then back up at her. "Oh, you mean…that would be something he's…that you guys have…"He cleared his throat. "That's…too bad I….that's…" He sucked in a breath, saying nothing else.

"He would be privy to my thoughts on that expression, that begins with 't.c,' Blane." Elizabeth shook her head. "And not 'Tony Curtis'." She looked at Stefan, who was biting his lip, shaking his head in dismay at her.

"Tony Curtis?" said Blane. "Should I ask?"

"He thinks he looks like him." Elizabeth said. "I can't tell you how many times I've had to watch _Some Like It Hot_." She shook her head. "Anyway, good going, Blane."  
"Well." Blane said. "If I'd known that it was going to create such an…awkward moment, I never would have said it."  
"Thought it'd go over my head, did you?" said Stefan.

"I didn't think you…you know what? Never mind. It was just a joke, Steff." He shook his head.

"Well, it's not your fault, Blane." Stefan said, pointing his head in Elizabeth's direction. "It's hers."  
"Well, I don't know about all-"

"Oh, but I do know, Blane." Said Stefan. He put his arm around Elizabeth's shoulder, and squeezed, rocking her back and forth, looking at Blane all the while. "And, since I have, as you said, a bullying personality, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take Elizabeth home, and knock her around a little bit." He put his head against hers, a bit roughly, but she knew he was only joking. She did her best to look timid and apprehensive, just to make Blane squirm for what he'd done to her and looked tremulously up at Blane, who was doing his best to actually pretend, in her viewing, at least, that he was uncertain of Stefan's temperament.

He cleared his throat. "All right, then, Steff. Like I said, it was just a joke, now why don't we let bygones be-"  
"What's the matter with you, Blane, you don't actually think that this one's beaten down and cowed by me, do you?" Stefan said. "She's a saucy little minx."

"Yeah, I…figured." Blane said. "But as to you having a bullying personality, well…you do. Or you did. Doesn't look to me like _you've_ been any too cowed by the years, yourself, though."  
"I certainly would not be described as 'cowed', Blane." Stefan said. "But I have changed a great deal."  
"Good, good." Blane said. "I hope so."  
"I'm glad you got what hoped, then, Blane." He shook his head in irritation. "But you know what? I feel that I deserve an apology. You should…it hurt me a great deal, that you stopped speaking to me, after high school. I had a lot of superficial friends, back in my youth, but you were the only one that meant anything to me. I cared a great deal for you, and after you stopped talking to me, it was clear that our friendship to you was less than nothing." Stefan said, and even Elizabeth flinched at the sharp, bitter hurt of his tone, and Patty looked off to the side uneasily. Blane looked down at the tablecloth for a moment.

He sighed, shaking his head sadly. "Steff, you'd been…self-destructing for years. I mean…everyone said, I should quit hanging around with you. Including my mother. I mean, she'd been vocal about it since we were in kindergarten."

"Well, she was a bitch, Blane." Stefan said. Patty's eyes flicked down at the tablecloth her mouth twitching upwards almost imperceptibly, and Stefan glanced over at her. "And I bet Patty agrees with me."  
"Still got that lack of a filter, huh, Steff?" said Blane, shaking his head.

"All right, maybe I shouldn't have said that." Said Stefan.

"Maybe you shouldn't have indeed." Blane said.

"All right." Patty said. "Let's not start this whole thing up again."

"But Blane," Stefan said quietly, frowning deeply. "I can care a great deal about people in my life who disapprove of me, and I don't mind if they express their opinions, in fact, I respect a person who will be honest enough with me to tell me if I'm in the wrong. I can still respect, and even love, a person who has a negative opinion of me." He shook his head sadly. "But not people who just decide to cut me out of their lives, and stop speaking to me."

Patty studied him thoughtfully. "That was…very moving, Steff." She looked at her husband. "Wasn't it, Blane?"

"Yeah…" Blane sighed. "Look, I guess maybe I should have….called, or written, at least once. You're right. Okay?"  
"At least once, would have been good." Stefan.

"Yeah. Yes. So…I guess…I'm sorry. Okay?" said Blane. "About my…actions when we were younger. Deciding not to speak to you, and all."

"All right. Well, I accept your apology, Blane." Stefan said. "We don't…need to talk of it anymore."

"Good." Said Blane. "Let's not, then."

"Good." Elizabeth said, cutting her eyes to Blane, who had a still amused, but slightly more wary expression on his face. "You can…tell us all stories about how horrible Stefan was, then Blane. I mean…he said he won't mind."

"Well, I don't know, Elizabeth." Blane replied. "I think the restaurant probably closes eventually, so I'm not sure we'd have enough time to go into proper depth."

Later, in the parking lot, they were all standing in front of the McDonaghs' car, saying their goodbyes.

"You know, Stefan had an Indian roommate in law school, who said in his country, Stefan has what they call 'the analog of the wolf'." Elizabeth informed Blane. "That's what they all called him. 'The Grey Wolf'."

"Oh." Blane laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah, for sure Steff has the analog of the wolf. I can really see how that'd work."

"Indeed." Elizabeth said. She looked at Stefan, but he shook his head, looking amused.

"And I apologize for…the throat cancer thing. I shouldn't have-"  
"Oh, I don't think you need to apologize to _me_, Elizabeth." Blane replied.

"Uh huh. Well." Elizabeth said. "It's a wonder he doesn't. Isn't it true, Blane, that Stefan started smoking in the sixth grade?"  
"Oh, that's true, all right." Blane said. "That's very true. And more often than not, he'd be doing it right out in the halls, with seemingly _no_ inhibition about getting caught."

"Oh, wow." Elizabeth said in mock astonishment.

"Yeah, he was always walking around with a cigarette in his hand, wherever he went, and sometimes, he'd just drop the cigarette butt just…about ten feet from the principal's office." Said Blane. Elizabeth shook her head, smiling.

"Yep. He was really something else, all right." Said Blane. He shook his head, smiling a little. "No, no. Steff's a great guy, really."

"Yes, he is." Elizabeth agreed, taking Stefan's hand.

"And really…it was great seeing you again, Steff." Blane said. "We'll have to do this again sometime."

"Uh huh." Steff said, smiling, but looking a little sad, as he did. He patted his shoulder. "We will."

"Well." Elizabeth said, when they were on the way home. "That was…fun wasn't it?"  
"For you." Stefan replied.

"Oh, Stefan…" Elizabeth shook her head. "You know it was great, seeing your old friend again. "  
"In some ways." Stefan said.

"It was." Elizabeth said. "And he cares for you…in his own way. I can tell."

"You don't care for him, in…your own way, do you, Elizabeth?" Stefan looked at her, eyes wide with paranoid worry.

Elizabeth sighed. "No, Stefan." She said, shaking her head.

"You think that he's slimmer than me?" Stefan said. "Don't you?"  
"I think that he's slimmer than everyone, Stefan." Elizabeth replied.

Stefan shook his head. "You think he's aged better than me?"  
"No, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "I certainly don't."  
"He's got kind of a mousy wife, that's for sure." Stefan said. "Very nice, but…mousy."

"Oh, I think she was pretty." Elizabeth said. "She liked you. I could tell. She was all charmed up."  
"Oh, I don't think so, Elizabeth." Stefan said.

"Oh, don't be so modest." Elizabeth said. "I mean, don't we all eventually succumb to your charm, eventually? It's like that song, by Karen Carpenter, 'Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear'?"  
"Is it?" Stefan said, glancing at her. "You're telling on yourself, Lizzie."

"Oh, I didn't mean…_me_ personally." Elizabeth said coyly. "I'm immune, of course."

"Of course you are." Stefan said. He glanced at her. "Nice to know that you said to Blane that I sound as though I have throat cancer."

"It just slipped out, accidentally." Elizabeth said. "And he…thought it was funny."

"Well, of course he did." Said Stefan. "He delights in insulting me. As you can see."

"He doesn't mean anything by it, Stefan." Elizabeth said.

"Uh huh. Glad to know that you're so…in tune with one another, that you have little jokes. About me."  
"We're not 'in tune' with one another, Stefan." Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes.

"You're not in love with him, are you, Elizabeth?" Stefan asked.

"Head over heels." Elizabeth said. "I just saw that…silly, embryonic face, and those darting…nervous looking eyes, and I thought, 'Yeah! I'm going to leave Stefan for him tonight, if he'll have me.'" She looked at him. "Isn't that absurd."  
"He likes you, I'm sure of it." Stefan snorted. "That's why he said that, about 'throat cancer'. He wants to flirt with you."  
"Oh, he just wants to make jokes about you, I'm sure, Stefan."  
"I wouldn't be so naïve, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "Of course he'd be attracted to a pretty, young thing such as yourself."  
"Not that young." Elizabeth demurred. "I'll be thirty…way sooner than I want to be. Way, way sooner."

"Younger than him." Said Stefan. "Not to mention his mousy wife."  
"I'm sure that's not true, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "He's your friend."  
"Well, he's too much of a wimp to try to steal you, anyway." Stefan said. "Though, as you can probably see…he's a sly wimp. He pretends he's docile, but he's insinuating. Very insinuating."

" 'Steal me'?" Elizabeth said. "Like I was property?"  
"Oh, you know what I mean, Elizabeth." Stefan said.

"I don't know…but I don't want it to be true." Elizabeth said. "I want you two to be on…good terms."

"Oh, we will be, as long as you don't have any kind of attraction to him." Said Stefan.

"Well, rest assured, I don't."

"Well, why did you make jokes at my expense to him, Elizabeth?" Stefan said. "It's one thing for you to say it to me, but not to him."

"Oh, Stefan." Elizabeth responded. "It was never…I really said it because…I like the danger. That you might find out that I said it. I like feeling afraid of you, you see. It's…sexy."

"Oh." Stefan said. "Well."

"I said it because…I think it's sexy the way you have that raspy…drone." Elizabeth said. "You know that. A wimp like Blane doesn't get the joke, you see."  
"No. I…I guess not, Elizabeth." Stefan said, casting a glance over at her.

Elizabeth licked her lips nervously, feeling some strong pangs of guilt over the _other_ thing that she'd said to Blane on the phone, that might not be met with such good humor, no matter her intent in saying them. "And…for you to think that I would want some…breakable twig, like your boy Blane?" Elizabeth said.

"He's in good shape. I'll give him that." Stefan said.

"I don't want a slender guy like him." Elizabeth said. She placed her hand against his chest, and slid it in a circular motion. "I haven't forgotten…the joys of a full-bodied man."  
Stefan made a noise of derision. "I'm driving, Lizzie."

"You know how I like the chubby men, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "Let's do what Billy Halleck and his wife did, in the car."  
"Let's not." Stefan said. "I wonder if it would give Stephen King pause to know that his writing has stirred up these…appetites in a young woman."  
"For chubby men?" Elizabeth said.

"Yes." Stefan said. "For chubby men, and sex in cars, and…" He shook his head. "You know, I've had sex in a car, before."

"You have?" Elizabeth said. "While you were driving?"

"Yes." Stefan said.

"Actual sex? Intercourse?" Elizabeth said.

"Well…" Stefan shrugged. "Sort of."

"Who was it? Was it Bennie?"

"Her sister, actually." Stefan said. "She got a kick out of it."  
"Wasn't that the cokehead? Cathy?"  
"Yes." Stefan said. "It was just once, actually. I guess it's no wonder Blane dropped me, is it? I was very screwed up." He shook his head, looking very sad.

"Oh, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "He knows…he shouldn't have done it."

"I guess." Stefan said.

"Will you make love to me in the car?" Elizabeth said. "Like you made love to Cathy?"  
"I'd hardly call it making love, and no, Elizabeth." He shook his head. "You know better than that."  
"Just a little joke, Stefan." Said Elizabeth. "Besides, we wouldn't want to run over any gypsies, would we?"  
"Gypsies? That's rather a racist term, Elizabeth." He looked at her chidingly. "As is a story about Eastern European people as vengeful, spell-casting crazies."  
"Oh, no." Elizabeth said. "Here we go. More political lectures. I swear, you _are_ like Bill Hicks."

"Well, maybe it's not _truly_ the ideas put forth by the story, so much as…the metaphor behind what you're referencing, that bothers me, Elizabeth." He said, as the car came to a stop in a space in the building's parking garage. He took the key out of the ignition, and look at her resignedly.

"What do you mean?" Elizabeth said.

"You're trying to say that I'm fat, Elizabeth. The protagonist of that story is a fat man."  
"Not fat. Chubby." Elizabeth said. "And the protagonist of the story is a chubby lawyer."  
"We've seen the movie. He was a good deal more than chubby."  
"Well, it's a metaphor, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "You don't have to take it a hundred percent literally."  
She shook her head. "A lot of people didn't like that book, and the movie wasn't great, but…it's always been one of my favorites, and now I know why. Because I was meant to be with a chubby lawyer."  
"All right, Lizzie." Stefan replied.

"You know how I adore chubby lawyers, Stefan." Elizabeth said.

"I do." Stefan replied.

"Nothing makes me hotter than a…well-cushioned man, Stefan." Said Elizabeth. "I want to have chubby sex with you." She stroked his arm.

"Well, we'll see, won't we?" Stefan said.

"It's a good thing to have." Said Elizabeth. "A well-padded man. And they keep you warm during the winter. You don't think I want some brittle, sharp-angled thing like your old pal, do you?"  
"I wouldn't imagine so, Lizzie."

"He couldn't keep a girl warm at all." Elizabeth said. "It's like comparing…an old, creaky daybed, with a feather bed." She smiled sweetly at him.

"It certainly is."  
"And useful in case of a life-threatening situation." Elizabeth said. "You know what fat does, don't you, Stefan? It _floats_." She said, elongating the vowels of the last word.

"Elizabeth-"

"You'll float, too." Elizabeth said fervently, placing her hand on his thigh, one of her knees inching away from the other in excitement, as she said the words. "You'll _float."_ She leaned closer to him, placing her hand against his throat, and stroking it gently. She placed her hand on his chin, and squeezed, looking at him consideringly. Stefan looked back at her, a kind of worried, concerned apprehension in his eyes, but still not exactly disinterest, gazing down at her hand cupping his face. She squeezed a little harder, holding his head in place, before leaning her face towards him. She slid her hands up and down his chest, then placed her lips to his, and kissed him forcefully, enthusiastically. Stefan returned her kiss, patting her on the back with trepidation.

Elizabeth looked at him, her breathing ragged."Kiss me, fat bo-

"All right. That's enough of that." Stefan said, deftly moving his face away from hers. He shuddered.

"Too far?" Elizabeth said.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Lizzie, but…" said Stefan. "I guarantee you, there won't be any chubby sex for you, if you start quoting Pennywise."

The following May, Elizabeth was again pregnant, two months, this time, when they got a letter announcing Stefan's thirtieth high school reunion. Elizabeth was eager to go, having great curiosity about the people Stefan went to high school with, however, Stefan was not nearly as enthusiastic as she. In fact, suffice to say, Stefan was not enthusiastic about it at all. But, after she had begged, pleaded, and bargained with him, Stefan had grudgingly agreed to go.

The reunion was held at the same hotel, Stefan had said, where they had all had their senior prom, thirty years ago. A brunette with gleaming white teeth had greeted them at the door, introducing herself as the president of the alumni association, smiling widely at Stefan, wanting to talk over old times, however, Stefan was most definitely not the chatty sort, and soon deflected her, though politely, and excused the two of them.

Stefan was greatly unwilling to mingle with anyone there, and looked resolutely for the only one that he was even mildly interested in speaking with, Blane, who they had not seen or talked to since their dinner. He walked over to Blane, and tapped him on the shoulder.

"How you doing there, sport?" Stefan asked Blane.

Blane turned around. "Oh, Steff." he said. "Good to see you. How are the twins?"

"Good. They'll be a year soon."

"Good, good. And Elizabeth?"  
"Oh, she's fine." said Stefan. "She's here with me, of course. I don't know where she went. She's flitting."

"Is she now?" said Blane. He shook his head, smiling.

"Haven't talked with you since last time, Blane? Been busy?"

"I have, yeah." said Blane. "With work, and everything. What about you, you been working hard?"

"My fingers to the bone, friend." Stefan said.

"Yeah?" Blane said. "Lots of people getting divorced, and fired, and injured?"

"Unfortunately." Stefan said. He shook his head.

"I'm just kidding old buddy." Blane said, patting him on the shoulder. "I'm sure you help a lot of people, too. Right?"  
"I try to help all of them whatever way they need it, Blane." said Stefan. He shook his head. "Elizabeth dragged me here, of course."

"I'm sure she did, Steff."

"I have no desire to talk to _any_ of these people again, do you?" Stefan said. "As far as I'm concerned, they're all bums. I don't even know what to say to them."

"Does you not knowing what to say to them automatically make them bums, or is it something else?" Blane said.

"Yes, Blane, it does." Stefan said, looking at him irritably. Blane shook his head, smiling. Just then, Elizabeth approached.

"Oh, hello, Elizabeth." Blane said, smiling at her, with his usual look of amusement. "Steff tells me that you dragged him here. Did you?"

"I did." Elizabeth said. "If it wasn't for me, Stefan probably wouldn't ever leave the house."

"Now that simply isn't true, Lizzie." Stefan said.

"It's pretty much true." Elizabeth said. She bit her lip. "I want him to talk with Andie again. See what she looks like now."

Blane looked a bit nonplussed at this, clearing his throat. "I...I wouldn't do that, Elizabeth."  
"Why not?" Elizabeth said.

Blane sighed. "Because she...she doesn't want to talk to him. They certainly didn't part on great terms, Elizabeth."  
"Oh, Blane." Elizabeth said. "That was thirty years ago. She doesn't care about stuff like that, I'm sure."

"Well, I certainly don't want to have any dealings with her, Elizabeth." Stefan said.

"See? He doesn't want to, Elizabeth." Blane said.

"Oh, it has nothing to do with you, Blane." Elizabeth said. "Why don't you mind your own business, now?"

Blane raised his eyebrows, and shrugged, swirling the ice in a drink he had, looking none too happy.

Sometime later, Elizabeth met up with Blane in the corridor of where the reunion was being held.

"Hey." she said softly. "How's it going?"

"Oh, it's going okay, Elizabeth." said Blane.

"I..." She looked off to the side for a minute. "You're not...angry with me about the Andie thing, are you?"

"No, no." Blane said. "Just...why do you care so much about things like this? All these people Steff went to school with?"

"I don't know. I just am." Elizabeth said. "What about you? You're here, aren't you? Why did you come, if you don't think it's something to care about?"

"Oh, Patty likes any excuse to get dressed up, and go to functions. Me, I'd...rather not have to see all the people I spent my high school years with. College, maybe. But not high school."

"Does that include Steff?" Elizabeth asked.

Blane looked at her thoughtfully. "No." he said, after a moment.

They were silent for a moment.

"As do you." Blane said, turning to her. "Like to get dressed up and go to functions, I'm sure. But that's not all it is, is it? You've got some...weird fascination."

"With life."

"With Steff. You want to...I don't know. Know everything there is to know about him, even the people he went to school with, years ago."  
"With reunions. I like seeing people, and what they're like, then and now. I've always wished I could...time travel, you know. This is as close as I get."  
"Yeah?" said Blane. "This is like a trip into the distant past for you?"  
"Sort of." Elizabeth said. "Being here reminds me of a line from this song by my favorite group, growing up. The Bangles. 'Time, time, time. See what's become of me.'"  
"Ohhh...that could be taken many ways." Blane said.

"Couldn't it, though?" Elizabeth said. "Why? Do you think _some_ people have been victims of time?"

"Uhhh..." Blane said. He shook his head, smiling at her in amazement. "Could be. But I'm not going to say which."  
"Time, or calories?"  
Blane just looked at her, shaking his head. "Nice. Very loyal."

"Isn't it?"  
"I'm sure Steff would love to hear about what his sweet girl says behind his back." He smirked at her. "Lizzie."

"Watch it."

"Oh, I'm just kidding." Blane said. He shook his head."Although, if I'm being honest, I was a little pissed off at you, the last time. Just a little. You set me up."  
"I did no such thing." said Elizabeth. "If you mean when you said that about throat cancer. I _asked_ you not to mention it."  
"I didn't think you actually told him to his face that he sounds like he has throat cancer. I just thought it'd be a little joke that yeah, would go over his head."  
"Because you think that Stefan is such an...intractable person, that he could never have a sense of humor about himself?"

"I don't know." Blane said. "I didn't think he'd be the kind of guy who'd joke with his wife like that, no. I mean, heaven help the poor soul who would go up to Steff, and say 'You sound like you have throat cancer', when we were in school. I would not want to be the person who had to do that back then, let me tell you."

"Well, in case you hadn't noticed, it isn't high school, anymore, Blane, and Stefan is a middle-aged husband and father."  
"Indeed." Blane said. "People change. Sometimes."

"Want to point out any of those poor souls he victimized to me?" Elizabeth said, biting her lip.

"I would love to, Elizabeth." Blane said. He smiled wryly at her. Elizabeth smiled back.

When the reunion was winding down, Elizabeth and Stefan were standing in the lobby, when Blane walked up to them.

"Well." he said. "Patty's about ready to leave, so I guess we're going to take off."

"All right, Blane." Stefan said, and Elizabeth noticed that he was frowning a little, sadlly. She felt a lump in her throat the size of a tennis ball, upon seeing this, and cleared her throat.

"Blane." Elizabeth said. Blane turned to her.

"Yes, Elizabeth?"  
"I think you should give your friend a hug." She glanced at the floor. "I mean, I know he's a noted...tyrant of your class, feared by many, and he'd never say it, but it'd mean a lot to him."

"I see." Blane said. "Well, since you ordered me to." He walked up to Steff, and embraced him quickly, patting him on the back.

"It's always great seeing you two, really." Blane said. He shook his head. "She's a little officious. And odd. I guess you've found your soul mate, Steff."

"Indeed I have, Blane." Stefan said. "And..indeed she is."  
"Well." Blane said. "Until next time, I guess."

"Until next time, sport." Stefan said.

"Yeah." Blane said, studying them, and looking a little sad. "Well, see you."

He walked down the lobby of the hotel, Elizabeth and Stefan both watching him contemplatively.


	5. Chapter 5

A few days before she made the first call to Blane, Elizabeth made another phone call, this one directly to the home number that she had found, in her search.

"Hello?" a woman's voice answered, not unfriendly, but Elizabeth thought that she heard a slight wary note in it.

"Hello. Hi." Elizabeth said, nervous suddenly. "May I speak to...Andrea?"  
"Speaking." the woman responded.

"Andrea Dale?"  
"Yes." Andrea said, a her voice rising slightly in impatience. "This is she."  
"And you were...Andrea Walsh? In high school?"  
"Yes." Andrea said, a questioning note in her voice. "Um...to whom am I speaking?"  
Elizabeth cleared her throat. "Um...my name is...Elizabeth. Elizabeth Grey."  
"Okay." Andrea said. "Do I know you?"

"Not exactly." Elizabeth responded. "This is going to sound weird, but I...well, I'm the spouse...of someone you knew. In...high school."  
"The spouse of someone I knew in high school." said Andrea. "Okay."

"I'm...I'm the wife of...of Stefan Grey. Steff, as he was known then, but he hates the nickname, so...he prefers to be called Stefan now."

"Steff...oh." said Andrea. "Right."  
"Do you...remember him?"Elizabeth said. "Steff?"  
"Just barely." Andrea said. There was a moment's silence. "I'm sorry..." Andrea said. "Why are you calling me now?"  
"I...um. I was curious. About you. About him." Elizabeth said, swallowing nervously. "About what he was like then."

"About what _Steff_ was like then?" Andrea said.

"Yes." Elizabeth said.

"Why?" Andrea asked quizzically.

"I don't know." Elizabeth said. "I just am."

There was a moment's silence. "Well." Andrea said after a minute. "I barely knew Steff."

"Okay." Elizabeth said. "But he...liked you. Back then."  
"I guess." Andrea said.

"He asked you out." Elizabeth said.

"Yeah. I guess he..." Andrea trailed off. "And you're his wife?"

"I am." Elizabeth said.

"Do you call up every girl he asked out?"

"No..." Elizabeth trailed off. "I'm...pregnant, you see. We're going to have a baby."  
"Uh huh."  
"And..." Elizabeth said. "I want to know if...if he did anything really awful. To you. In high school.. So I can...in case it turns out he did horrible things that he hasn't told me about. Like crimes against humanity or something."  
"I see." Andrea said, though her voice conveyed the opposite. "Like what, exactly?"  
"Like...if he were the kind who would buy a drunk a drink." said Elizabeth. "You know?"

"I wouldn't know." said Andrea. "Like I said, I didn't know him really well."

"Was he like that guy, you know that guy, who kidnapped that girl, in Aruba? You know the one. Van Der something?"  
"I...not that I know of." Andrea said, speaking slowly. She sniffed.

"He ever rape anyone?"  
"What?"

"Nothing." Elizabeth said.

"Are you okay?" Andrea said, sounding concerned now, a slight high pitch in her voice.

"Yes." Elizabeth said, her heart pounding, and her throat constricting with guilt, over the things that she'd uttered, in the past minute, and her inability to ever unsay them. "I'm just...I worry. I get these ideas in my head."  
"Are you young?" Andrea said. "You sound young."  
"Twenty-nine." Elizabeth replied.

"I see." Andrea said. She was silent.

"I'm sorry to bother you, I just...I..." Elizabeth sniffled. "I just feel...like I'm worried that...maybe there's a side of him that's going to come out...when our kids are born...that he's going to be mean, and cruel to them, and..." She sniffled, feeling tears well up in her throat.

"Well." Andrea said, after a moment's silence. "Is he...mean, and cruel to you?"

"No." Elizabeth said. "Not at all. He's a wonderful husband."  
"Then why are you worried he'll be mean to your kids?"

"Because...he's told me...he was kind of a bully in high school, and college, and..." She sniffled. "I just..I'm worried our children...might be unhappy."  
"I...they'll be his children." Andrea said. "I think, unless he's a monster like the kind you brought up, that they'll be used to him, if they've grown up with him."

"Do you have children?" Elizabeth asked.

"I...uh huh." Andrea said. "We do. They're almost out of the house, luckily."

"Is their father a...bullying sort?"

"Hell, no." Andrea said. "He's a sweetheart. _They _bully him. I'm the tough parent."  
"I see." said Elizabeth. "Is...is your husband Phil?"  
"Yes." Andrea said. "Why?" Her voice had an ever present, suspicious and accusing tone to it, Elizabeth noticed.

"Was he...called Duckie? In high school?"

"Yep." said Andrea, sounding slightly amused. "How did you know that?"

"Steff told me." Elizabeth said.

"Right."  
"So." Elizabeth said. "Steff...asked you out. A lot. Back then. Right?"  
"A few times, yeah."

"And you told him no."  
"I did." Andrea said, sounding kind of impatient.

"Why?"  
"Because...I didn't like him." Andrea said.

"He was a real jerk, right?"

"I guess he was, and...I just didn't like him." Andrea said. "I was not attracted to him."

"Okay." said Elizabeth. "And Steff's ego...just could not handle that. Right?"  
"Um...I guess. You'd have to ask him, but." She clicked her tongue. "He made a real pest of himself. That I remember."  
"But why?" Elizabeth said.

"Why what?"  
"Why weren't you attracted to him?" Elizabeth said. "I've seen pictures of him, when he was eighteen. Could anyone ever have been more beautiful, or sexy? No."  
"Uh.." Andrea said. "That's a matter of opinion. And in my opinion, he wasn't, okay?"

"What was so wrong with him, Andrea?" Elizabeth said.

"He just was not my type." Andrea said. "End of story."  
"You're just not into, really sexy, golden haired, smoky voiced guys?" Elizabeth said, lolling her tongue in her mouth.

"Apparently not." Andrea said. "But you have fun with that, okay? Go crazy."  
"Well, Andrea." Elizabeth said. "I think you were completely bonkers to reject Steff. I really do."  
"That's great." Andrea said. "Good to know."  
"Of course, you wouldn't want him now." Elizabeth hastily added. "He's fat."

"Okay." Andrea said. "Um...isn't that your husband?"

"Yeah. So?"  
"So...I don't think you should be saying that, about him." Andrea replied. "That isn't very nice."

"Maybe you're right." Elizabeth said. She paused. "But tell me, Andrea...was there...someone else? That you liked better, back then?"  
Andrea sighed. "Did he ask you to call me, or something?"

"No." Elizabeth said. "No, he knows nothing about this. And he'd freak the hell out if he did. This is a...project of mine."

"Well, why do you care? About me, or anything that happened with us, back then?"

Elizabeth sighed. "You know what? I...I'm sorry, Andrea. I know how this looks. I should never have called."

"I don't know how it looks." said Andrea. "I...it's not like anything I've ever encountered, before, I'll tell you that. Just...calling me up, out of the blue, but..."  
"Okay." Elizabeth said. "Okay. I know, I.."  
Andrea sighed. "Look." she said. "You're pregnant. I've been pregnant before. I know...sometimes you can do, or say, crazy things. These hormones can really mess with you. So...maybe with you, it takes the form of...calling up people your husband used to know in high school. It's like drunk dialing, right? Though...you're not drunk...I hope. Being pregnant and all."

"I guess." said Elizabeth, frowning.

"Well." said Andrea. "I don't know what you want to know, or think you could find out from me, but, like I said. I barely even knew Steff. He was one of the rich kids. And I...wasn't. And yes, he asked me out several times, and I turned him down."  
"And there was one of the...rich kids...that you _did_ like, though." said Elizabeth. "Wasn't there?"

"Yes, there was a guy that I did like, who was very well-to-do."

"Blane." Elizabeth said. "That was his name, wasn't it?"

"Yes, yes, Blane." Andrea said. "Yes. And Steff did do everything in his power to keep...Blane and myself apart. He was annoying, and a thorn in his side, according to Blane. And he couldn't take no for answer, and he really annoyed both of us."  
"And Blane stopped talking to him? After high school?"  
"Yeah, I guess that's right, but..." Andrea trailed off.

"But what?"

"But, if you want to know the truth, looking back on it, Steff barely registers in my memory. He was just a guy...who made an idiot of himself, because he was a sore loser. But Blane..."

"What happened with Blane, Andrea?" Elizabeth said. "If you don't mind my asking."  
"Well...he's an asshole." Andrea said. "Long story short. I mean, not that I give a damn now, but...well, he was the one that turned out to be the most despicable, if you ask me." She sighed. "He...broke up with me. In college. Freshman year. For some girl, he met, at the college he was attending."  
"Oh." Elizabeth said softly. "Wow."  
"But...it's nothing. I mean, it wasn't then. It was a huge deal, you know, and I cried a lot, and was depressed, and it was really a bad time. I thought he was a sweet, sensitive guy, and you know, he apologized, like he always does, and said...it just happened, and tried to explain to me why it wasn't his fault. Come to think of it, he did that when he broke up with me the first time, too. Then it was because he was afraid of what his rich friends would think."  
"Including Steff." Elizabeth said.

"Including Steff, yeah." Andrea said. "Anyway, Phil, my husband...he was there. For me. And he was hurt, too, you know, mostly on my behalf, of course, but Phil and Blane had become good friends, of sorts, back then. But not anymore."

"Because he's a liar." Elizabeth said. "Blane. Isn't he?"

"Yeah, he's a liar." Andrea said.

"Smiling faces tell lies." Elizabeth said.

"Well, I don't know about _that_." Andrea said. "Phil, my husband always keeps a smile on his face, and he certainly isn't a liar. He's the most truthful person I've met."  
"Well." Elizabeth said. "Steff says that Blane was a hateful coward. Always seeming to want to please, but in the end uncaring."  
"I don't know about hateful." Andrea said. "But he sure is a coward. But I'm grateful, because now I know, about him, and now I also know, that Phil is the best husband, and father that anyone could have."

"What does he do?" Elizabeth said. "For a living?"  
"He's a chiropractor." Andrea replied. "It's funny, because no one would ever have guessed that about him, back when we were younger, that he would become one. He wore the craziest clothes, and he was not what anyone would call scholastic. Boy, were his grades terrible. But he was smart, incredibly so, in fact...he just...hated school. But they call him Dr. Dale now, if you can believe that."  
"Pretty impressive." Elizabeth said.

"Yeah. He's a big dork at heart, though. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"What about you?" Elizabeth said. "What do you do?"

"I'm a clothing designer. I co-own a design company with a friend of mine."

"Oh. Sounds like a great job." Elizabeth said.

"It is." Andrea said. "It's always been my dream, to design clothes. I've been doing it since I was a kid."

"What about...Steff?" Andrea said. "What's he doing now?"  
"He's a lawyer." Elizabeth replied.

"Oh."

"Yeah, in fact, you might see him in the phone book, and he has little magnets, that sometimes come...with the yellow pages, you know. He and my dad. They're partners."

"Oh, okay." Andrea said. "Maybe I'll run across it sometime, then."

"I'll bet you have." Elizabeth said.

"Maybe." said Andrea.

"But you probably wouldn't have recognized him." said Elizabeth.

"Maybe not." said Andrea.

"Because he's fat now." said Elizabeth. "Really fat."

Andrea sighed. "Again...that is not very nice. The Steff _I _remember would cut you dead for saying a thing like that."

"Stefan can be spiteful." Elizabeth said. "That's the truth."

"But he's your husband." said Andrea. "Don't you care for him? Why are you calling up complete strangers, and just saying that he's fat? Are you sure you're okay?" Her voice was taking on a concerned, but slightly strident quality, as she said this.

"Of course I do, and I won't say it again, if it offends you so much." Elizabeth said. "But tell me. Why were you so rude to Stefan? Why did you say, 'I have some taste'. You said that. He told me you did."

"Can I ask you something? Why do you care?" said Andrea.

"I just do. I write, so...I'm always curious about things. People. Especially Stefan." Elizabeth said. "When we were dating, I'd ask him questions. 'What was your mother's name?' 'Where did you grow up', Who was the first girl who broke your heart'. Stuff like that. And he'll answer every time. Of course, he has to answer the questions in exact order, a lot of the time...but...he'll give you an exact answer. That's for sure." She paused, reflecting on this statement.

"He didn't...say it was me, did he?" Andrea said. "That..._I _broke his heart, or anything like that, did he?"  
"No.." Elizabeth said. "No, it wasn't you, who was the first girl who broke his heart, it was...a woman called Cynthia. She's...she slept with his best friend, when they were engaged."  
"Oh." Andrea said. "Well, good. I mean, about me not breaking his heart, back then, because...that would be a _little_ strange."

"No." Elizabeth said. "No, you didn't break his heart, or anything. You did hurt his feelings somewhat, though. Your rejection of him, for his best friend. Deep down, Stefan is a very sensitive guy."  
"Oh. Well..."  
"But he can be spiteful." Elizabeth added hastily. "And that was how he responded back then. Wasn't it?"

"I guess so." Andrea said. "I mean, yeah, it was. But, I'm glad he got over it, and became a successful lawyer, and...everything."  
"Me too." Elizabeth said. They were quiet for a moment.

"Listen, Elizabeth, I've got to be going, soon," Andrea said, hesitating. "But...are you _sure_ you're okay?"

"Why?" Elizabeth said. "Just because I called you, out of nowhere?"  
"Well...yes. I mean...maybe you're depressed." said Andrea. "Maybe...you're having troubles. Because of the pregnancy. Do you have someone to...talk to?"  
"Yes." said Elizabeth, biting her lip sadly. "Yes...I have someone. That I can talk to."  
"Good." Andrea said.

"Well." Elizabeth said. "I guess...that's all, then."  
"Okay." Andrea said. "Well...good luck, then. With the baby."  
"Okay." Elizabeth said. "Good luck to you, too. With Phil, and all."  
"Thank you." Andrea replied. "Try to breathe, okay?"  
"Okay." Elizabeth said. "I will, Andrea. And thank you. For...humoring me. I know how it must-"  
"It looks like...you're bored." Andrea said. "That's all. Maybe lonely. But...don't go calling the wrong people, okay? Some people might not be as nice as I was."

"Okay." Elizabeth replied. "I...shouldn't have said that. About Stefan being fat."  
"No." said Andrea. "It wasn't a nice thing to say, Elizabeth."  
"I should probably go to a doctor." Elizabeth said. "Or that condition of mine might get a lot worse."  
"What?" Andrea said, puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, nothing." Elizabeth said.

At Stefan's thirtieth reunion, Elizabeth went up to the red-haired woman who had been pointed out to her by Rita, their alumni association's president, and cleared her throat. The woman turned around, and looked at her uncertainly, gazing a critical eye.

"Hi." Elizabeth said, extending a hand. "Andrea? Andrea Dale?"  
"Yes?" Andrea said. She continued to look at Elizabeth, perplexed. "I...know I don't know you...you couldn't...are you one of the wives?"  
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I'm Elizabeth. Elizabeth Grey. You know. _Stefan's _wife? Steff?"  
Andrea blinked for a moment, then recognition dawned on her face. "Oh." she said. "Right. I remember."  
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "Well, I know you'd want to meet Stefan...again. You'd really like him, I know. It'd be a kick, right?"

"Yeah." Andrea said. "Yeah, sure. That's why we're here, right? I guess. Where is he?"  
"Oh, he's talking to...a friend of his." Elizabeth said, sidestepping that it was Blane. "I'll go find him. I know he'd like to talk with you, and your husband." Stefan, of course, would not, but Elizabeth felt that it would be good for him to see them, since she felt he had little social interaction with people besides those in their family.

"I'll get him." Elizabeth said.

"Okay, then." Andrea said. "We'll be waiting."

After Stefan, who was reluctant to carry on _too_ much of an argument with her in a public place, being a deeply reserved, and even paranoid, sort of person, was marched by her, with a terribly suffering look on his face, over to where Andrea and her husband stood, they all said their hellos.

"Andrea," Elizabeth said. "You remember Stefan, of course. Steff, as he was known in those days."

"Yes." Andrea said, smiling crisply at Stefan. "I remember. How are you, Steff?"

"I'm very well, thank you, Andrea." said Stefan. "Uh..yourself?"  
"Very well, very well." Andrea said. "It's still Andie, by the way. Uh...you remember my husband, Phil? Phil Dale?" She motioned over to the man next to her, a dark haired man, who was wearing a regular tuxedo, but for the leather jacket over it.

Phil extended his hand. "Hello." he smiled politely. "How's it going, Steff?"  
"Very well, Phil. And how's it going with you?" Stefan said. "What are you up to now?"

"Uh, well, I'm a chiropractor, now, actually." Phil said, smiling, and Elizabeth noticed, unveiling a rather large set of white teeth when he did.

"Oh, really." said Stefan. "Well, I'm...glad to hear it. Sounds like a...very rewarding job." He looked down at the floor awkwardly.

"Yes." Phil cleared his throat. "And, uh...I..teach a physiology class, down at a local college."  
"He loves that." Andie said, smiling towards Phil. "He gets to talk for hours at a time."

"Yep." said Phil. "My students all love me, because, you know. I'm always cracking the jokes. Helps them learn the material better, I think."  
"Oh, I'd think so, yes." Stefan said quietly, still looking a good deal more uncomfortable than he had when talking to Blane.

"Yeah." Phil continued. "Because we all do the same stuff. We all watch movies, and TV, and read books, and we all have relationship issues-

"We do?" Andie said, turning to Phil in mock surprise.

"Oh, sure." Phil said. "Half my anecdotes in class are about all the annoying little things Andie does. No, I'm just kidding." He patted her hand. Andie shook her head.

"And what about you, Andie?" said Stefan. "What do you do?"

"I'm a designer." Andie replied. "Clothes."  
"Oh." Stefan said. "Very good."  
"She designed her dress tonight." Phil said, motioning towards his wife. "And of course, she looks smashing. As usual. Right, dear." He shrugged, looking at Stefan and Elizabeth. "She's modest."  
"As opposed to you." Andie shook her head at him. "Phil has never been modest in his life."  
"Well, I don't know about that." Phil said. He cast a glance towards Stefan. "A few people here might have made _sure_ I was modest, but..." He shrugged, smiling widely at them. "High school, right?"  
"Indeed." Stefan said, a new look of nervousness forming over the stiff, pained sort of grimace that Elizabeth knew to be an attempt at a smile. She locked eyes briefly with Andie, who she noticed was looking curiously at Stefan.

"Yep. I was a total dork. But I didn't let that stop me. Did I, Andie?" Phil said, looking at his wife.

"No, you sure didn't, Phil." Andie replied. "Nothing could stop the Duck Man. Could it, Steff?"  
"Uh...no. I...I guess not, Andie." Stefan said. He cleared his throat. "Do you still go by that, Phil? Your nickname?"  
"Uh, no, not really." Phil said. "Though our mascot at the office is a duck. For some reason. I don't know, I just told a few patients about my nickname, and then one or two of them kept bringing me ducks, stuffed ducks, ceramic ducks, plastic, you name it. Some of them go on a trip, bring back a duck from a gift shop in China, or France or somewhere. It'll be like this rare duck, they paid a hundred dollars for, and anyway. I can't get away from it, I guess. Oh well." He smiled ruefully.

"Ah." said Stefan. "Well. Sounds like you have fun there, though."

"Oh, yeah. It's great." said Phil. "I really love my patients."  
"You know," Elizabeth said, turning towards Stefan. "Stefan has a nickname, as well."

"Oh, really?" Phil said in surprise. "What is it?"

"In law school, they called him 'The Grey Wolf'." said Elizabeth. "Because he's such a shrewd, ruthless, attorney. He's the best, you know. Because he has the analog of the wolf."  
Phil laughed. "Really?" he said.

"Really." Elizabeth said, squeezing Stefan's arm. "Don you, Stefan?"  
"I guess so, Lizzie." Stefan replied uncomfortably, patting her hand. He cleared his throat. "Well." he said. "It was lovely seeing you two again, really. You seem like...quite the couple." Phil nodded, and Elizabeth noticed him looking at Stefan a little strangely for a minute.

"You know, I have to say." Andie said, looking at Stefan consideringly. "that you...surely have changed a great deal since we were in high school."  
Stefan looked startled, then cleared his throat. "Well, thank you...a whole lot, Andie, uh, I..." His mouth flickered towards the ground, sourly. "I suppose I've...gotten a bit more...prosperous, but...it really doesn't do to say it, does-"

"No, no, no." Andie said impatiently. "I'm not talking about...physically. I'm talking about...well, you're so courtly, now. I mean, remembering you as that...kind of cocky, arrogant guy, that you were back then, I never would have pictured that you'd be this...formal, mannerly, reserved...person I see in front of me. I mean, you've got your hands...folded in front of you like that, and...I just never would have pictured..." She trailed off, shaking her head. Elizabeth noticed Phil raise his eyebrows slightly, but his ever-present wide smile did not leave his face.

"Not at home." Elizabeth said to her.

"Hmmm?" Andrea said, looking at her like she'd just said something truly odd.

"He's not that way at home. Sweet, and formal. He's still cocky, and arrogant around me. Thinks he knows positively everything, and I know nothing. But that's how husbands are, isn't it?" Elizabeth said.

"Oh. I guess they are." said Andie. Phil laughed, but Elizabeth noticed a slight look of discomfiture on his face.

"But yes." Elizabeth said. "Here he is completely shy, and reserved. Painfully so. I can't even get him to dance with me." The song, 'Magnet and Steel', was playing at that moment.

"Like now." Elizabeth said. She bit her lip, looking at Stefan. "This one has...special meaning, and significance to me. To us."

"It does?" Stefan said, looking at her puzzled.

"Yes, Stefan. It does." said Elizabeth.

"Oh, we've got one like that, too." said Phil. "Andie and I."

"Oh, really?" said Elizabeth with interest. "What is it?"  
" 'Try a Little Tenderness. Otis. You know Otis?"  
"I do." said Elizabeth. "That's a great one."  
"I think so." said Phil, looking at Andie.

Andie cleared her throat. "You should...you should dance with her, Steff."

"Well..."  
"Yeah," Phil echoed. "Dance with her, Steff."

"Well.." Stefan shrugged. "I guess I owe them that much, right, Elizabeth?"  
"You certainly do, Steff." Elizabeth replied.

Later that evening, Elizabeth opened the door of the ladies room, and found Andie standing at the sink, adjusting her lipstick. She smiled politely. Andie cleared her throat, and looked at Elizabeth pointedly.

"Don worry." she said. "Your secret's safe with me. About our conversation last year."  
"Good." said Elizabeth. She hesitated, and turned to Andie, a small smile on her face.

"Did I...disappoint?" she asked.

"About what?" Andie responded.

"You know. My description." Elizabeth said. "Of Steff."  
Andie clucked her tongue at her, shaking her head.

"No, really." Elizabeth said, going up to her conspiratorially. "You must tell me. I must know, or I'll die. Is he corpulent or isn't he?"  
"Oh, what do you think, Elizabeth?" Andie said. "I'm sure you don't need me to answer that for you." She shook her head.

"Phil's nice." Elizabeth said. "I really liked meeting him."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." said Elizabeth. "He certainly seems filled with good cheer. And not hideous good cheer, either. Just regular, nice good cheer."

"Well, why would you think it was hideous?" Andie looked at her, frowning in bafflement.

"Just a quote. From a book." Elizabeth shook her head, suddenly feeling foolish about her hobby for a moment, but shrugged. "He seems like a nice guy, is what I mean."  
"Phil's great." said Andie. "If you can get him to shut up for ten seconds, that is."  
"I noticed." said Elizabeth. "That he's a talker, I mean."  
"Yeah. Well." Andie said. "He's great. And I never really realized it, until...well, I told you, before. Until Blane broke up with me, in college. And he was there."  
"Yeah." Elizabeth said quietly.

"And I never fully realized until then, Elizabeth." Andie said, turning to her. "That Phil would...put my needs ahead of his own. Without thinking about it."  
"I'm sure."  
"And...well. I didn't used to think of that as being...a sexy, or desirable, quality in a man, when I was a young woman. I thought that guys like that were...dull, and safe. Reliable. But I was wrong. And I hurt him. Phil. Because of it." She shook her head. "I didn't treat him very well, when we...were growing up, because of that. But...he was still there. In spite of it. And when I came to my senses, and realized how much I loved him...well. But that's what love is, Elizabeth. Putting your partner's needs ahead of your own. You know?"  
"I do." said Elizabeth. "I do, indeed."  
Andie sighed. "And he was there for me. When that...creep, Blane broke up with me. And he's here tonight, too." she said, shaking her head in disgust. "He just comes up to me, and looks like he wants to talk...just like nothing ever happened. Like he was not at all culpable in his actions."

"Yeah...he's...shifty." Elizabeth agreed. "He's hurt a lot of people, in fact."

Andie shook her head. "This is my third go-round, you know. At high school reunions. And each time, I've had to see him. Don get me wrong, it's not like I'm not over our breakup. But he's just such...an _insincere_ kind of person. Know what I mean? Running into him, just...rubs me the wrong way. Phil, too. He can't stand him."

"And Steff...?" Elizabeth asked. "How did you feel about seeing him?"

"Steff. Steff's a teddy bear now." Andie said, shaking her head.

"Oh." Elizabeth said. "A...teddy bear, huh?" She felt alarm start to swell, inside her mind.

"Yeah." Andie said. "He's a sweet guy. Very formal, most guys you see, even guys his age, don't have such good manners. Why?"  
"Is he a teddy bear physically, though? Andie?" said Elizabeth.

"No, no. That is not what I meant."  
"I thought you had some taste, Andie." Elizabeth said. "You don't like gross, disgusting pig men, do you?"

"I think someone's had a little too many libations. What do you think?" Andie said, patting her arm.

"Not me." Elizabeth replied.

"No?"  
"No." said Elizabeth. "I'm pregnant again."  
"Again?" Andie said incredulously. "Has it even been a year?"

"Nope." said Elizabeth.

"So you've been pregnant every time I've spoken with you." Andie said. Elizabeth nodded. "Wow. Well. Perpetually pregnant, by Steff. Seems _you _don't have any taste at all, does it?" She clicked her tongue.

"Guess I don't." said Elizabeth.

"Well." Elizabeth said to Stefan, in the lobby of the hotel. They were looking out at all the people on the dance floor. "That wasn't so awful, was it? Meeting Andie and Phil?"  
"I guess." Stefan said. He sighed. "They think they're the belles of the ball, I glean that much. Especially that Phil."

"Now, now, _Steff_." Elizabeth said. "Phil is a nice man. And exceedingly charming."

"Lizzie." Stefan said quietly. He shook his head, in irritation, but the hurt was unmistakable in his voice. "And I'm not?"

Elizabeth's lips parted in dismay. "No." she said softly. "That isn't what I meant. At all." She squeezed his hand.

"Wasn't it, though?" Stefan said.

"No." said Elizabeth. "You know it wasn't...but what about that Andie?"

"What about her?"

"Do you like her? Still?"  
"As much as I did the last two hundred times you asked me that, Elizabeth." He shook his head. "If you have the insane worry that I'm attracted to her, why did you want me to come here, and talk to her?"  
"I wanted to dispel the notion that she's this gorgeous figment, this...girl in the pink dress."  
"Well." said Stefan. "Truly, I haven't _had _that notion in my mind for a long time, but..you needn't worry. It's dispelled. She's.."  
"Your age."  
"Not to put too fine a point on it." Stefan laughed derisively.

Elizabeth shrugged. "Well, you like to be truthful." she said. "She looks good, though. She's a very beautiful woman."  
"I guess." Stefan said.

"Speaking of beautiful women..." Elizabeth said. "How many of them at this reunion have you slept with? All of them, or excluding the fat girls?"  
"A few of them, both them and their mothers."  
Elizabeth's lips thinned with disapproval. "At the same time?"

"No, Elizabeth." Stefan said, shaking his head. "Even I'm not that bad. Wasn't." Elizabeth sniffed.

"But that was a lifetime ago, Elizabeth." Stefan shook his head. "I was a vastly different person, then."  
Elizabeth looked at him, and then out at the dance floor at Andie and Phil, who were dancing slowly together to Otis Redding's 'That's How Strong My Love Is'. She felt a lump in her throat, and tears rise.

"Lizzie?" Stefan said, squeezing her shoulder.

"I...I was talking with this woman, before. Gloria, she said her name was. She said that...you and she went to a party once, and she was tipsy, and you drove her home-"

"Probably also tipsy, or even drunk, myself." said Stefan. "But what of it?"  
"And...she was full of all these stories about you. How you...gave her flowers, but they were...her mother's flowers that you'd stolen, and...well. I could just tell...that you'd probably slept with her before. I just _knew_."  
"Probably right at the moment your parents were...well. Conceiving you." Stefan said. "As you're always so fond of pointing out. In other words..before we met. To say the least. So what of it?"  
"Well." Elizabeth said. "She was beautiful, that woman. That Gloria. She looked like...like a model. Like Charlize Theron, a little."  
"She was that type." Stefan said. "And..?"  
"And...I know she's older than me, and I know that was forever ago, but...you...you could have..." She sniffled.

"Lizzie, stop this." Stefan said quietly.

"You could have a younger Gloria, if you wanted." Elizabeth said. "You could...you...what do you want with me? I...I'm not as beautiful as Gloria. I'm not a gorgeous blonde. I'm cute, at best."

"You're trying to manipulate me, Lizzie." Stefan said.

"No." Elizabeth said. "I just...you've slept with so many of these women here, and I just wonder...do I measure up?"  
Stefan shook his head. "I can't believe you would even ask me such a question." He look at her sadly.

"And that Rita. You slept with her, too. She said she was Bennie's best friend, she had all kinds of stories about you and Bennie, how you were passing a flask at the prom, and she and her boyfriend were completely scandalized by your behavior, but of course they secretly wished they had the courage to do a lot of the things you did. I bet you tried to teach her how to be like you, didn't you?" She sniffled.

"I certainly hope she's not here tonight." Stefan muttered.

"She's not. Rita said she didn't RSVP. She said she hasn't responded to any of the alumni mailings."  
"Good." Stefan shook his head. "I don't know if I'd be able to control my mouth around her if I saw her again. After what she did."

"Yes, well. Another gorgeous blond, though, wasn't she. You had a million of them."  
"So?" Stefan said. "I greatly regret all of them, if you want to know the truth."

"Do you now?" Elizabeth said.

"Indeed I do." Stefan said, stepping behind her, and clasping his hands behind her waist. He deftly moved her hair out of the way, and pressed his lips to the back of her neck. Elizabeth cleared her throat angrily, but he did not move them away.

"Oh, please." Elizabeth scoffed. "Smooth moves. I'll bet you did that with Rita, and Bennie, and Cathy, and Gloria, and every Jo, Sue, and Sherry." She looked at him.

"Lizzie." He wrapped his arms around her more tightly. "Stop it."  
"Oooh, because you _ordered _me to, throat cancer?" Elizabeth said, turning to face him.

"Lizzie, I'm going to tell you something." said Stefan.

"Going to whisper cancerous nothings in my ear?"  
Stefan cleared his throat, ignoring her. "Something I'd like to tell you." He pressed his face against the back of her head.

"Uh huh." Elizabeth said. "Is it a secret?"  
"Not such a secret...but..." He whispered in her ear. "I love you with all my heart, Lizzie."

"You don't _have_ a heart, Stefan." Elizabeth replied. "You're a slimy lawyer."

"Uh huh." Stefan said. "Well. If I did, I'd love you with all of it, Liz dear. That's the difference. Between you. And anyone I slept with. Which is none of your business. Or wanted to sleep with, for that matter."  
"I don't trust you, Stefan." Elizabeth demurred, but she was only teasing.

"Yes, you do, Lizzie." said Stefan. He pressed his lips to her neck again. "And you should. Because I love you. With all my heart. As I indicated before."  
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said.

"And I know that on some level, you truly, truly want to make sure that...well. That people that I went to high school with...realize what a success I am, and how much I've changed. You're doing this for me."  
"What do you mean, 'on some level'." Elizabeth asked, turning to face him.

Stefan shrugged. "I don't know, you...acted as though my past should be thrown in my face. Yeah, Rita, and Blane, and Andie and everybody else think of me as being a screwed up, promiscuous...wastrel.. Am I to understand that you do, too? I thought you supported me, and saw me for what I am, not what I was."

"I'm sorry." Elizabeth said. "I get...jealous."  
"I know." Stefan said.

"What do you mean, on some level?" Elizabeth said."On the most fundamental level, I want people to think that you've changed. So you'll stop being so insecure about things."  
"I'm not insecure, Lizzie." said Stefan. "But even if I was...what these people think wouldn't fix it. Would it?"  
"No." Elizabeth said softly. "No, I guess not."

"But thank you all the same, Lizzie." Stefan said. "Don't think I don't appreciate you effort. But I came here for you. You realize that, right?"

"I guess."

"I did." said Stefan. "Of course I did. I'd do anything to make you happy." He caressed her hand, gently.

"Would you now?"  
"Indeed I would." said Stefan. "Because I love you so." He embraced her more tightly. She looked off in the other direction, still pretending to be angry.

"Lizzie, you haven't said it back to me, and...well. You know how I am." He pressed his mouth to her ear. "I'm volatile, and unpredictable, like your new found gal pals have all told you."  
"Those middle-aged bitches aren't my gal pals, Stefan, and anyway they didn't-"

"Or maybe you really love that rabbit toothed idiot over there. See if you can wrestle him away from Ms. Fashion Plate."  
"That Barney Fife lookin' dude?" Elizabeth said, looking at him, still dancing with his wife across the room. "What would I want with a geek like him?"  
"You said he was 'charming'." Stefan said. He made a noise of outraged disdain. " 'Charming'. Can you imagine. You said that of a man who attacked me in the halls of our hallowed institution, by the way. I still haven't forgotten that. Have you no loyalty?"  
"Well, why don't you go over there, and confront him about it, then?" Elizabeth said. "Since it still bothers you so much."  
"I would, but his teeth frighten me." Stefan replied. "They look like they could do some damage. They remind me a bit of Pennywise."  
"Oh, my word." Elizabeth said, doing her best to suppress laughter. "Have you been drinking?"

"Not a drop, Lizzie." Stefan replied.

"Heaven help us when you were." Elizabeth shook her head.

"Oh, did Rita tell you that? Or was it Gloria?"  
"Blane." Elizabeth said. "He told me tonight, that you made him show you the key, to his parents' liquor cabinet, in in the eighth grade, and then you both got drunk, and..."  
"And...?"  
"And he said that he was desperate to hide it from his parents, but you didn't give a damn, in fact, you told him that you wanted to get caught."  
"Perhaps I did." said Stefan. "And he didn't. He was afraid, as usual. He wanted to drink the liquor, though, didn't he? He just didn't want to get caught doing it. That was always the difference between myself and him."  
"Yeah." Elizabeth said quietly.

"Anyway," said Stefan. "That's completely irrelevant. What concerns me is that you still haven't said it. That you love me. I'm very concerned, Lizzie. You never know what I might do, you know."  
"You're not going to sleep with any of these old whores if I don't, are you?"  
"No." Stefan said, pressing his lips to her hair. "No old whores. There's only one _young_ whore that I love."

"Well, I love you, too." Elizabeth said softly. "You know that."

"Sure you're not...torn between two lovers?" Stefan said. "Blane and Phil?"  
"Oh, wow. I am." Elizabeth said. "And what a choice, too. The elderly embryo, and Mr. Chattery Teeth." She briefly locked eyes with Phil from across the room, for a moment, and felt a brief embarrassment, but he smiled warmly at her, and she smiled back.

"He knows what you're saying about him, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "He knows we're talking about his teeth."  
"Maybe his teeth know independently of himself, Elizabeth." Stefan replied.

"The Chattery Teeth always come back for revenge, Stefan." Elizabeth said. Stefan shuddered.

"His teeth aren't going to give you night terrors, are they?"  
"They might, Lizzie." said Stefan. "You'll have to stay close to me tonight. Make sure I don't go out a window or anything."  
Elizabeth swallowed, feeling nauseous worry at the thought. "Yeah, right. Convenient excuse."  
"I'm talking about more than sex here, Lizzie."

"Sure you are." Elizabeth replied.


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter is crazy all over the place with what its about, but mostly, of course, it's about Elizabeth's relationship to Cynthia, which I mean to be the main focus of the story. Also, I know, I went a little nuts with "you are fat" trope, but Elizabeth is deeply insecure, and has "I Can't Believe a Guy Like You Would Notice Me" syndrome, in case you couldn't already tell, and feels the need to remind literally everyone, because she's a little crazy. Of course, I don't endorse such behavior from anyone but a fictional character, and no, I don't think making fun of fat people is okay. Small disclaimer, in case people thought I was bigoted against fat people or something.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Elizabeth routinely saw Stefan off, at the front door of their apartment each morning. This was exactly what she was doing, one day, her due date ever closer, when she felt a sad, aching feeling, and, when he kissed her goodbye, in preparation for leaving, she grabbed him, around the waist suddenly.

Stefan cleared his throat, looking startled for a brief moment, but then patted her on the back, gently. She looked up at him, blue eyes wide with anguish.

"All right, Lizzie." Stefan said, attempting to disentangle himself from her grasp, but she wouldn't let go.

"Stefan.." said Elizabeth.

"Yes, Lizzie?"

"I worry about you."

"Do you?" Stefan said. He bit his lip, looking at her consideringly. "Why?"  
"Because...I'm worried that somehow, you might ingest some...nut, or nut extract, and then you could have an allergic reaction." She leaned her head against his neck. "You could die."

"That's not likely to happen." Stefan said. "And if it did, I have a kit here, of course."

"What if you're all alone, and there's no one there to administer the shot, Stefan?" she asked. "What happens then?"  
"If I thought like that, I couldn't get anything done, now could I, Elizabeth?" said Stefan. "Besides, there are always people around at work, as I'm sure you know."

"I think you should stay home with me, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "Just one day. Just in case."  
"In case what, Elizabeth?" Stefan said.

"In case you have an allergic reaction." Elizabeth said. "In case something bad happens."  
Stefan patted her on the back, gently. "That's silly, and you know it." He smoothed her hair. "Come on, now. Be rational."

Elizabeth sniffed. "You're always patronizing me."  
"Well, aren't I your patron?" Stefan said.

"Of what? My cookies?" Elizabeth said, though she regretted saying it, after it had been spoken aloud.

"What sort of cookies?" Stefan replied archly. Elizabeth made a noise of disgust, shaking her head.

"Your cookies are very tasty, Elizabeth." Stefan said.

"Oh, please." said Elizabeth. "How very sophomoric. I'd think you'd be above that."

"I'm above nothing, Lizzie." Stefan said. "Not unlike yourself." He shook his head, narrowing his eyes at her.

"I'm sorry." Elizabeth said contritely. "I'm so sorry."  
"You said it, didn't you?" Stefan replied. "The damage is already done."  
"I was just upset, because...you don't take anything I say seriously." said Elizabeth. "My worries are legitimate."

"No, they're not, Lizzie." replied Stefan. "You're just allowing yourself to give into irrational thoughts."

"Maybe I am." Elizabeth replied. "But they're still my feelings, aren't they?  
"Feelings aren't what counts, Lizzie." Stefan said. "Reality is. Logic is."

Elizabeth sniffled. "I think you should stay with me." she said. "Just this once. Can't work wait for a day?"  
"No, Elizabeth." Stefan said. He turned to go.

"Wait. Please." said Elizabeth, grabbing onto him again. "Hold me. Just for a minute."  
Stefan put his arm around her, and embraced her, staying that way for a moment. But it was not a long enough moment for Elizabeth, and he soon was protesting tardiness for work again.

"Stay with me." said Elizabeth. "We'll catch up. On time together."

"Elizabeth, I can't." Stefan said. "Mr. Garvey will be coming in at ten, and-"  
"Oh, screw Mr. Garvey." Elizabeth said. "You're needed here."

"No, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"You don't like me anymore." Elizabeth said, in a mock hurt tone, but she did feel hurt at his rejection.

"Of course I do." Stefan said. "I love you."

"Really?" Elizabeth said, looking at him with wide eyes, exaggerating, but she could never fake the joy those words always gave her.

"Of course." Stefan replied. "Always."  
She held onto him a little longer. "Stay with me." she whispered softly.

"I'd love to." said Stefan.

"Good-"  
"But I can't." he finished. "I'd love to be in bed with you, or just...in bed at all, for that matter. But I must work, Elizabeth. If I weren't a lawyer, I'd be very unhappy. It's very important to me, you know."

"As important as I am?" Elizabeth said. "As important as...us?" She ran a hand over her protruding abdomen.

"I'm working _for_ us, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "For you and our children."

"I know." Elizabeth said. "But..I want to make sure you know...how much I love you."

"And I appreciate it." Stefan said.

"You know I'd do anything for you, right?" said Elizabeth.

"Within reason, of course." said Stefan.

"Of course." said Elizabeth. She leaned her head against his chest. "I just...adore you so much.."

"As I adore you." Stefan said. "But-"  
"That I'd do _anything_-" said Elizabeth, moving her head further down his chest. "to make you stay here. You know, I talk a lot of smack, but I really love you, tubby."  
"_Tubby_?" Stefan said incredulously.

"Shhh." Elizabeth said, her cheek pressed against the fabric of his suit coat. "You know how I...crave...portly men, Stefan. Just saying the _word_ 'tubby', is making me...uncontrollably aroused."

"Elizabeth..."

"I love you so much," Elizabeth said, inching her head down just a bit further. "that I just...have to find some way to express it. I want to..._show _you how much I love you." She looked up at him, a wide-eyed look of comic adoration on her face, button nose tilted adoringly up at him. She rubbed said nose against his waist, looking up at him again.

"Elizabeth," Stefan said. "much as I'd love for your head to slide further-"  
"Oh, shut up." Elizabeth replied crossly. "I know, I know. You've got to go to work. If I hear you say you have to work one more time, I won't be responsible for what I do."

"I must work, Lizzie." Stefan said, but with noticeably less conviction. "Mr. Garvey is coming in at ten."

Elizabeth began kissing, steadily lower, and lower. "I really, really love you, Stefan." she said. "I want you to know that."

A low, clenched groan escaped from Stefan as she kissed lower, and more slowly, and Elizabeth smiled with satisfaction.

"I've got to work." Stefan said, his voice almost a whisper. "Do you think I have all day for your games? Mr. Garvey will-"  
"Did you ever see that movie, _Teaching Mrs. Tingle_?" Elizabeth interrupted. "Great movie. It starred that chick, who married Tom Cruise. Toby used to say I look like her, but I don't see it. Anyway, it was all about these students, who kidnap their teacher, who's this cunning, predatory, highly intelligent, scary woman. Person." She looked at him pointedly. "And even tied up, and in a situation that should rob her of her dignity, she'd _still _be playing mind games, and psychological cat-and-mouse, and _still_ be scaring the shit out of them." She reached up and patted him, and looked up to find him looking at her, in quite a sharp-eyed manner for her tastes.

"My job is far too-"

"Yep. Some people have to truly be tamed, or they will _always _have the upper hand." said Elizabeth. She cleared her throat sharply. "Don't you agree?"  
"Elizabeth-"  
"Be sure to stroke my hair." Elizabeth said, placing his hand against the back of her head. "And do it gently, please. Tenderly."

"Always." said Stefan.

Elizabeth looked up at him, her eyes overflowing with emotion. "I love you so, so much." she said, her soft voice urgent.

"Did I do good?" said Elizabeth, sometime later, as they lay in bed.

"Of course you did." Stefan said. "I think you turned my tongue a different color."  
"You mean...sweet, innocent Lizzie?" said Elizabeth, widening her eyes. "Not some bombshell, like Bennie? Or that one you lost your virginity to when you were fourteen?"  
"I'm not proud of that, you know." Stefan said softly. "But yes."

"A mere 'chipmunk'?" Elizabeth asked. "Can be responsible for changes in your tongue's color?"

"Seems so."

"Well, isn't it a wonder." said Elizabeth.

"Elizabeth." said Stefan quietly. "Did you mean all that you said to me, or were you just trying to get into the moment?"

"About Mrs. Tingle?"

"About...when you kept saying how much you loved me, Elizabeth." Stefan said quietly. "Did you...mean that?"  
"Of course I did." said Elizabeth. "You know that."

Stefan patted her hand. "Good."

"Why?" Elizabeth said, looking at him suspiciously.

"Why what?"  
"Why do you ask me if I meant it?" said Elizabeth. "Do you think that my love is...scary?"  
"Scary?"  
"Yeah." Elizabeth said. "Coming from a...crazy person. Like Annie Wilkes was. I mean, were you frightened by what I said, because you think my love is...all-consuming, dark, creepy, obsessive...scarylove? And that's one word, by the way. Scarylove." She looked at him.

"No." Stefan said, his tone grave. "I didn't mean anything whatsoever like that. Please, spoil the moment."

"I'm sor-"  
Stefan turned to her. "That sounded...awfully...specific, Lizzie. An awfully specific...vivid, description." Stefan looked at her. "One would hope...that you weren't thinking of someone...in particular, when you said that."

"No." said Elizabeth quietly. "I wasn't."

"Good." Stefan said. "Because if you did...well, grey wolves bleed too, you know." He studied her for a moment, holding an intense gaze that was no doubt supposed to make her squirm, and it did, but because his eyes had a look that told her exactly how all-too true the meaning behind the rather comical metaphor was.

"Nothing like that, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "I was just thinking of myself."

"Well, I would never think anything like that about you." Stefan said. "Why do you always think the worst of me?"

"I don't." said Elizabeth. "I was just talking." She stroked his arm.

"Grey wolves can be hard to tame, though." she said.

"Uh huh."  
"Even with their...paws manacled, they could still give you a vicious bite." Elizabeth said. She cut her eyes over to him. "Couldn't they?"

"They could." said Stefan.

"There's nothing I like more than tying down a grey wolf, Stefan." Elizabeth informed him.

"Uh huh." said Stefan. "Well. They secretly like it, of course."

"They sure do." said Elizabeth.

Several days later, Elizabeth had waited patiently until Stefan left for work, and patiently through several boring shows on morning television, and one airing of _Groundhog Day_, before she made her first phone call, at noon. She was very apprehensive about doing this, and if Stefan found out, he would likely have her committed to an insane asylum, but she was curious.

The phone rang three times, before being picked up.

"Hello?" The woman's voice on the other end was low, throaty. Elizabeth cleared her throat nervously.

"Yes. Hi." Elizabeth's own voice sounded nervous, and high-pitched to her own ears. "Could I speak with...is this Cynthia?"  
"Yes." Cynthia said. "Speaking."  
"Um..." Elizabeth licked her lips nervously. "Cynthia Patrice Bishop?"  
"Uh...yeah." Cynthia said.

"Yes, this is...um." Elizabeth cleared her throat. She shook her head, remembering that she was a fully grown woman, and could carry off such a call with great poise, if she put her mind to it. "My name is Elizabeth. Elizabeth Grey."  
"Okay." Cynthia said. "And you're selling something, right?"  
"No." Elizabeth said. "No, I'm not."  
"Okay. Do I know you, Elizabeth?"  
"No." said Elizabeth. "But you used to know...a friend of mine. Well, not. Actually. My husband. You used to know my husband."  
"Okay." Cynthia said. "And how did I know your husband?"  
"You were...you were engaged to him." Elizabeth said.

There was a silence. "I was engaged to your husband?" Cynthia said. "When?"  
"Oh, around...'91. '90. Something like that."

"Oh, no." Cynthia said. "I guess you mean...Stefan." She cleared her throat.

"I do." Elizabeth said. "That's right. Stefan. You remember?"

"I tried to forget." Cynthia said flatly. "Thanks for reminding me."  
"Why?" Elizabeth said fervently.

"Why what?" Cynthia said.

"Why did you try to forget that you were engaged to Stefan?"  
"Why?" said Cynthia. "Because...Stefan is...not a picnic to be engaged to, that's why."  
"You cheated on him." Elizabeth said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I guess I did." Cynthia said. "Let's back up. You're his wife, you say."  
"Yes. I'm his wife. Elizabeth. That's my name."

"And you're calling me." Cynthia stated. "Why?"  
"Because..." Elizabeth said. "I want information. From you. About Stefan."  
"Can't you ask..him whatever it is you want to know?" Cynthia said.

"No." Elizabeth said. "I want to hear _your_ perspective. On him."  
"Why would this be?" Cynthia said. "Why do you need to hear _my_ perspective, especially if you're already married to him?"  
"Because...we're going to have a baby." said Elizabeth.

"And..?"

"I want to know...if he's really all he says he is." said Elizabeth. "Or is there more to the story."  
"Is that so?" Cynthia said. "And what exactly does that have to do with you having a baby?"  
"What do you think?" Elizabeth said. "I want to know...if maybe...he wouldn't be a fit father."  
Cynthia sighed. "What do you want to know? About him? You're already married to him, you must-"  
"Did he hit you?" Elizabeth interrupted.

Cynthia sighed. "No." she said. There was a pause. "Why? Does he...hit you?"  
"No." Elizabeth said.

"Well, good." said Cynthia.

"Did he...cheat on you?" Elizabeth asked, clutching the receiver to her ear.

"No." said Cynthia. "But there came a time...I wished that he was."  
"Because you were cheating on him." Elizabeth supplied.

"No...before that." Cynthia said. "Again, let's take time out from these questions. How long have you been married to Stefan?"  
"Three years." Elizabeth said.

"Uh huh. And...how did you meet him?"

"He and my dad are law partners." Elizabeth said flatly. "I met him through my father."  
"Okay." said Cynthia. "And how do you like being married to him? Is it a joy?"  
"It is." said Elizabeth. "Why did you do it, Cynthia?"  
"You a lawyer?" Cynthia asked, sounding amused.

"No. I'm a baker."

"Right." Cynthia said. "A lawyer would probably have more sense than to call me up, and start badgering me about my history with some guy."

"Let's start over." Elizabeth said.

"Let's."

"You were engaged to Stefan."  
"Established. Yes."  
"And you knew his friend. John."  
"Right."

"And you two were...screwing...the whole time, behind his back."  
"Not the whole time, no." Cynthia said.

"But you were, in fact...having sex." said Elizabeth. "With him. With John."  
"Yes, we were...having an affair, I guess you'd call it, okay?" said Cynthia.

"Why?" said Elizabeth. "What would make you want to...throw Stefan away, for this guy John? Stefan is a great guy. Unless he was a completely different person than he was with you, back then, than he is with me now. So why?"  
"Okay." Cynthia said. "First of all..I was attracted to John. He was a good-looking guy. He's an asshole, but he's a good-looking guy."

"Better-looking than Stefan?"

"I don't know, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "But...that brings me to the second thing. Which is...I could not stand Stefan."  
Elizabeth's brow furrowed. "Why?"

"For a great many reasons. But...mostly because...well, he isn't normal." said Cynthia. "And I wanted...a way out. So I started seeing John."  
"Why didnt you just...leave him, then?" said Elizabeth. "Tell him you met someone else. Why carry on behind his back like that?"  
Cynthia was silent for moment. "Why didn't I just come out with it? Well, let's see. Because...I was afraid to tell him, for one thing."

"Why?"  
"Because I was afraid." Cynthia said.

"Of him?"  
"Yes." said Cynthia. "I was afraid...that he might be dangerous."  
"Physically?"  
"Not physically." Cynthia said, but then paused. "Well, scratch that. Yes, physically. At least, I wasn't sure."  
"But you said he didnt hit you, right?" Elizabeth said.

"No." Cynthia said. "But that isn't the point. I didn't know what he might be capable of, if I left him."  
"Why? Any more than anybody else?"  
"Well..." Cynthia said. She sighed. "I don't want to..."  
"Tell me." Elizabeth said. "I want to know. I want to know everything."

"Okay." Cynthia said. "Well. There's not an awful lot to tell, except...he's...an excruciating individual. He's an asshole, too. But in a different way, than John."  
"So you didn't like him." Elizabeth said. "Stefan."  
"That's putting it mildly." Cynthia said. "It got to where...I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. I would literally start feeling depressed when he would come home from work."  
"Why?" Elizabeth asked incredulously. "What about him made you dislike him so?"  
"Well.." Cynthia said. "I don't know. Stefan is...incapable of...communicating. Like others do."  
"How do you mean?" Elizabeth said.

"He doesn't...pick up on social cues. There's a certain...rhythm that people have, when they're dealing with one another. I say something, there's...a certain response, that it's customary for the other person to give, from the context of what I said, or the tone of my voice. But he didn't have the ability to pick up on it."  
"You mean tact." Elizabeth said questioningly.

"Not just." Cynthia said. "That too, of course. But also...generally not knowing or...having this..unwillingness to participate in the rhythms of human interaction. I'll give you an example. He quotes something he read in some book somewhere, and it resonates with me. And I'll say as much, that I liked the quote. And he'll say 'I'm just quoting.' You see?"  
She did. She looked at her lap, regretful comprehension showing on her face. "Yeah."  
"Well, I know that he was quoting. But that wasn't the point, was it?" said Cynthia. "The point is, that I liked the quote. I don't care if he didn't think the quote was so great. I was trying to give him a compliment, you know? A normal person would have picked up on that."

An all-too-familiar understanding of Cynthia's statement was beginning to creep in, but Elizabeth wasn't about to let her know that. "That's a reason to cheat on him?"  
"And John would." Cynthia added. "John would know. What to say, when someone gives him a compliment, or shares an anecdote."

"And that's why you wanted him?" Elizabeth said incredulously. "That's what attracted you to him?"  
"Well, no, not just that, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "Of course not. But it's a big thing. And after two years of living with Stefan...well. Let me tell you. It was like coming home after a long journey. With a complete maniac driving the car."  
"John was a liar." Elizabeth said. "That's what Stefan always says."  
"Oh, he does, does he?" Cynthia chuckled to herself. "Well. He's right. John's a liar. But what is he?"  
"A good man? A good lover? A caring person? A-"  
"Crazy." Cynthia said. "Actually, crazy's not the word. You see, in Stefan's twisted viewpoint, anyone is a liar, if they pick up on social cues. If they have the ability to communicate with one another. We're all speaking a language, that he just has no clue how to speak."

"He's shy." Elizabeth said. "Debillitatingly so, in some ways."  
"Yeah, yeah, debillitating's the word, all right. And he's socially awkward." Cynthia said. "But it's more than that, Elizabeth."  
"How is it more than that, Cynthia?" said Elizabeth.

"He's not crazy, he's...I think he's schizoid." said Cynthia. "I didn't know that term then. But I came across it, in a magazine, a few years ago, and good lord. It just conjured up...flashbacks, of...of that...flat affect, and that-"  
"Wait a minute." Elizabeth said angrily. "He is not schizophrenic, Cynthia. That I know."

"Not schizophrenic. Schizoid." Cynthia said. "Schizoid has nothing whatsoever to do with schizophrenic, Elizabeth. It means not being able, or wanting to associate with others. It means not sensing others feelings. It means not showing any emotion, or being able to. It means not picking up on social cues. Not being in touch with others."

"Okay." Elizabeth said, after a moments thought. "I think you're wrong, but-

"I think I'm right."  
"I think you're wrong," Elizabeth continued. "But you're saying that you think that he has a disability."  
"A personality disorder." Cynthia said. "Yes."

"And this means that he should just...be...I don't know. Shunned by all?"  
"I didn't say that, did I?" Cynthia said. "Just by me."

"So you think he's got a disorder that makes him unable to pick up on social cues." said Elizabeth. "That makes it okay that you deceived him with John, then?"  
"I don't know about 'okay'." Cynthia said. "But it certainly makes it understandable."

"Is that what you tell yourself?"  
"Yeah, it is." said Cynthia. "Maybe you're angry at me for doing it, because it brought him to you. You sound angry. What do you care? Freed him up for you, didn't it?"  
"I'm angry on his behalf, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "Which apparently, isn't something _you're _capable of understanding."  
"Oh, no points for guessing who put _that _idea in your head." Cynthia said. "I must be a complete sociopath, because I'm not like him, right?" She cleared her throat irritably. "I just don't get why you feel the need to call me up, and tell me what a bitch I am for hurting your precious Stefan. What makes you do this?"  
"I'm bored." Elizabeth said. "And curious. About why you could hurt a guy like Stefan. Why you rejected him."

"Because that man scared the fuck out of me." Cynthia said. "If you want to know the truth." She made a noise of revulsion. "That flat, emotionless way he has of talking. Humorless. Those creepy, dead eyes."

"Hey!" Elizabeth said angrily.

"That smile that doesn't meet his eyes." Cynthia said, sounding almost faraway, conjuring up her alleged unpleasant recollections. "And worst of all, that humorless laugh. Like someone who doesn't even understand the concept of laughter. Who's just parroting laughter, really. When Stefan laughs, it's the most unnatural sound in the world."

"And I feel so cold." Elizabeth said, trying to make a sarcastic remark, but her voice sounded dazed to her own ears. "afterwards. So cold, I feel like I'll never be warm again." Elizabeth felt her eyes swim with tears, which blurred her view of their kitchen, where she was sitting.

"What?" Cynthia said.

"It's..." Elizabeth sniffed, unable to contain her sobs. "It's..."  
"Hey, hey. Hey." Cynthia said. "Come on." There was a tense silence.

"I'm sorry, all right?" Cynthia said after a minute. "That's right, you're pregnant, aren't you?"  
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said. "I am."  
"Well." Cynthia said. "You're going through something. Some emotional crisis, I see. When I was pregnant, I was really angry all the time. I wanted to stab, or strangle something. But I got over it. And you will, too."

"You were pregnant?" Elizabeth said. She sniffled. "You have kids?"  
"One. A daughter." Cynthia said.

"What's her name?"

Cynthia sighed. "Maya." she said.

"Is she...John's daughter?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes." Cynthia said. "She is."  
"Did you marry him?"

"Uh huh." Cynthia said. "Briefly."  
"What happened?"

"He cheated on me, all the time. Go ahead, cheer." Cynthia said. "Because that's what he does. He is a real bastard. But he's also Maya's father. So I try not to say anything _too_ bad about him when she's around."

"I'm not going to cheer." Elizabeth said. She swallowed. "Is he a good father?"  
"Going to give me a free car, Oprah?" Cynthia said. "You seem to be asking a lot of personal questions."  
"Sorry." Elizabeth said. "Didn't mean to pry."  
"No, it's okay." Cynthia said amusedly. "Yes, he's a good father, and he and Maya are very close. But he's a shitty husband. Was. Mercifully, we're divorced."

"Do you ever feel pangs of guilt, that the baby you had with John was the one you would have had with Stefan?" Elizabeth said. "And Stefan tells me all the time, especially since I've been pregnant, that he's always felt an emptiness, inside, because he's missed out on being a father, all these years until he met me."  
"So why the hell hasn't he been married for years?" Cynthia said. "No, I don't feel pangs of guilt. Please. Pangs of fear, at the thought of..." She trailed off. "Look." she said. "What I said about Stefan. I'm sorry...that it upset you. Okay?"  
"Well, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "Why did you even get involved with him in the first place, if you disliked him so much?"

"Because I didn't know what his personality was really like, until I started living with him." said Cynthia.

"What drew you to him?" Elizabeth said. "It must have been something."

"Well, he was good-looking. As I'm sure you know. Very good-looking." said Cynthia.

"Oh, yeah." said Elizabeth. "I know."

"And he had a big dick." Cynthia said.

Elizabeth sniffed. "Nice." she said. "Very poetic."

"What? It's descriptive." Cynthia said. "So there's your answer."

"There must be more to it than that." Elizabeth said.

"Not really."

"You thought he was good-looking?" Elizabeth said.

"I already said so." Cynthia said.

"Gold hair? Shiny?" Elizabeth said.

"Yep." Cynthia said.

"Blue eyes?"  
"Yeah, he had 'em." Cynthia said. "But-"  
"Throaty voice?" Elizabeth said. "That you have to strain sometimes to hear?"  
"That would be the flat affect." Cynthia said. "Yes."

Elizabeth laughed. "Nonsense." she said. She lolled her tongue, thinking for a minute. "Blonde all over?"  
"Spare me." Cynthia said.

"What?" Elizabeth said teasingly. "I thought you were _descriptive_, Cynthia."

"I regret being descriptive all of a sudden." Cynthia said. "But yeah. And he was, by the way...phenomenal in bed. But that can go only so far."

"There must have been something else." Elizabeth said. "Besides just him being good-looking, and good in bed. You must have been drawn to _something_ about his personality."  
"Well, if pressed, I guess I had to say, I thought he was...interesting. Intense." Cynthia said. "And he could be quite witty, at times...so there was that."

"He is witty." Elizabeth said. "Very sardonic. It's amazingly sexy. Like Bill Murray, but really hot."  
"I guess." Cynthia said.

"I was just watching that movie, _Groundhog Day_, on TV awhile ago. Seen it?" Elizabeth said.

"I have. One of his best. Though I never cared for that Andie McDowell."

"Oh, I think she's good." Elizabeth said. "But anyway, that is one of Bill Murray's best roles. That, and _Ghostbusters_."

"Yeah, that's definitely the best one."  
"Of course," Elizabeth said, apprehension about the intent of a person like Cynthia forming in her mind. "these days Stefan more closely resembles _another_ character in _Ghostbusters_."  
"Yeah?" Cynthia said with interest. "which one is that?"  
"The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man." Elizabeth replied.

"Oh." Cynthia said. There was a brief silence. "You mean..."  
"He's fat." said Elizabeth. "He's gotten fat now. Since I married him."

Cynthia cleared her throat, a noise which had a distinct sound of amusement to it. She sniffed. "Really."  
"Indeed." Elizabeth said. "He's a bloated tub of lard in a suit. He loves his suits and his overcoats, though." She lolled her tongue. "They hold in that fat real nice."  
"And yet," Cynthia said. "You got upset at me for my remark about his hollow laugh."  
"That was different." Elizabeth said. "That was a judgment of his character. Mine is just a comment on his appearance."  
"I see." said Cynthia. "Well. Anyway, now that you said _that_, I feel free to say, that I am more glad than ever, to be free of that creep. Good lord, was he creepy. And now he doesn't even have the looks to make up for it, is the way it sounds."  
"Watch it." Elizabeth said.

"I won't." Cynthia said. "I mean, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, Elizabeth, but...I could not stand that man. Nobody could live with him, and stay sane."  
"Maybe you just didn't have an aptitude for him, Cynthia." Elizabeth said.

"Thank goodness." Cynthia said. "And another thing. It was nerve-wracking. I mean, maybe it would have been tolerable around someone who wasn't a schizoid asshole like himself, but I had to spend every second worrying about the meals I'd make, that he might keel over and die, if I accidentally put a nut in a dish I made. Life was one continual parade of fear."  
"Hmm." Elizabeth said. "You have to give up your perfume, too?"  
"Damn straight, I did." Cynthia said. "I wasn't allowed to wear perfume, he'd raise hell if I ever put on a few sprays."

"I had an entire perfume collection I had to throw out when I married him." Elizabeth said. "Including my favorite, Je Reviens. Which they don't even make anymore."

"He's controlling." Cynthia said.

"He's allergic." Elizabeth replied.

"To people, too." Cynthia said. "He never would like it when I would have friends over to visit, or go out with. Not even female ones. Of course, he didn't mind John so much, but..."  
Elizabeth laughed incredulously. "Well." she said.

"Oh, don't start." Cynthia said. "I'm a cheating whore, blah blah blah. I get it, okay?"  
"Stefan is an extremely isolated person." Elizabeth said. "But Cynthia..."  
"Yeah?"  
"I would destroy every bottle of perfume in the world, that ever existed, in all streams of time..just to hear him call me 'Lizzie' even once." Elizabeth said.

"Good to know." Cynthia said. "Is that why you called? Just to tell me that?"  
"No." Elizabeth said. "Well, sort of."  
"Well, you know what I think?" Cynthia said.

"No. And don't care."  
"I think," Cynthia said. "that you have _some_ idea that what I said is true. About the schizoid thing. You have some thought in your mind, that Stefan isn't entirely normal, and it's giving you pause about having kids with him. Now maybe that's not the right way to look at things, after all, as noted, John's a son of a bitch, but he's a good father, and I don't regret that he's partially responsible for raising my daughter. But you have some idea, that there are things about Stefan that...scare you. Maybe not that he'll physically hurt anyone, but...well. And so you called me. Hoping I could shed some light on his behavior."  
"No." Elizabeth said, a lump rising in her throat. "No, you're wrong. I love Stefan, I could never...think that about him. I just...I wanted..to know things. To make sure..."  
"Because he disturbs you." Cynthia said. "Admit it. It doesn't mean that you don't love him."

"No." said Elizabeth. "Not true. Stefan is a kind man, who treats me like I was...water. In a vast desert. Of...of loneliness, and isolation, and despair, and...and night terrors...he ever have those around you?"

"No." Cynthia said. "I've heard of them. Isn't that like sleepwalking."  
"_Yes_." Elizabeth said. "He started having them, when we were first married, a few times. It was terrible. One time, he was trying to open the window, and we were on the third floor apartment, and I had to wrestle with him, and he didn't even know who I was. _That_ time he hit me. Accidentally. He flung his arm out, and...it connected with my face, and I barely noticed, I was so terrified, but...then I had this mark on my face, and..." She sniffled, trying to contain her sobs, but she wasn't succeeding.

"Oh, no." Cynthia said under her breath, but she had a sympathetic note in her voice. "Do you...have anyone you can talk to, about these things, Elizabeth?"

"I don't know." Elizabeth said.

"You don't, do you?" said Cynthia. "Or else you wouldn't be telling me, a complete stranger, these things." She cleared her throat.

"It's my fault." said Elizabeth. "That I don't have more friends."  
"It's _not_ your fault." Cynthia said. "It's his."  
"I'm a loner, too, you know." Elizabeth said. "I always have been."  
"Uh huh. Well." said Cynthia. "Glad to know he's gotten even crazier, since I knew him. But Elizabeth..." She sighed. "Don't let him try to control you. That's what he does. Now, maybe he doesn't mean to, but he'll try to tell you everything to do if you let him. He'll try to isolate you in his world, and call you a liar, if you want to be normal."  
"I love Stefan, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "I'm only scared _for_ him. That our kids will grow up, not realizing that their father is a kind, wonderful man, because he can be a little abrasive, and he doesn't know how to express himself sometimes."

"That's a worry to have." Cynthia said. She sighed. "He thinks he's the only one in the world. I once was crying about something my mother, she's a real horror story, did, and he hugged me, but then said, 'I hugged you so that _I _would feel better.' About some crap that was going on at the firm he was working at then. Can you imagine?"  
"Well, he was just being honest." Elizabeth said. "Most people wouldn't."  
"Please." Cynthia said scornfully. "And that's not even the point. That he was selfish enough to not care about my problems. The point is that he did not need to share that with me. I could have gone my whole life, never knowing that he was only hugging me so that he would feel better about his own social ineptitude, that was keeping him from being a more successful lawyer. But he just _had_ to share that, and a million other little unpleasantries, with me. And if I asked him why he had to say all these things, couldn't he just keep them to himself, then he'd say that was the attitude of a...well, I'm sure you can guess."  
"Liar." Elizabeth answered thoughtfully. "Yes. Well." She sighed. "I know what you mean."  
"I bet you do." Cynthia said.

"All too well." Elizabeth said quietly. "But Cynthia...it doesn't change anything."

"No?" Cynthia said. "Well. I guess I don't expect it to, but...well. I feel bad for you. I mean that. Being married to him."  
"Comforting." Elizabeth said. "But I don't feel about Stefan the way you do, Cynthia. And I never did. I like his personality. I feel comfortable around him. Even when he's saying and doing the things you're talking about."

"Are you all alone right now?" Cynthia said. "No other kids, right? Nobody else lives with you?"  
"Yeah." said Elizabeth.

"And you're alone a lot." Cynthia said. "Aren't you?"  
"Not when Stefan's here." Elizabeth said.

"Yeah, yeah. Not when Stefan's there, but...any kind of associates? Any at all?"  
"We see my father a lot of the time."  
"You talk to him about this stuff, ever? Your dad?"

"Sometimes, but...he sees Stefan every day, at work." Elizabeth said, consideringly. "And they have a good relationship, they did even before we got together. Stefan likes to have a good relationship with the people at his practice. He talks with them about their problems, and likes them to feel like they can confide in him. You're wrong about him, Cynthia. He doesn't think that he's the only one in the world."

"That doesn't mean that he doesn't have those tendencies." said Cynthia. "I didn't say he was a complete heartless bastard. But he has those schizoid characteristics. As I'm sure you know."

"Well." Elizabeth said. "I don't happen to agree that he has anything wrong with him, but-"  
"Of course he has something wrong with him." Cynthia said. She sighed. "Are you scared a lot? Not of him...just...in general."

"Yes." Elizabeth said. "Mostly, I sit around, worrying. About the baby, about Stefan, about a million things that could go wrong."

"Crying a lot?"

"Almost every day." Elizabeth said.

"Yeah." Cynthia said. "I know...sometimes you can feel like doing nothing _but_ cry."

"And what does _Stefan_ do? When you cry?"  
"He's...really sweet to me." Elizabeth said. "He tells me everything is going to be okay, hugs me. He worries when I cry."  
"Because he wants you to shut the hell up." Cynthia said.

"No." said Elizabeth. "You're wrong, Cynthia."  
"Am I?"  
"Though he does sometimes tell me that I should be crying because of war in Iraq, and poverty, and misery, and suffering, and death, not because of nothing in particular."  
"Ah." Cynthia said. "You see?"  
"Well, he cares." Elizabeth said. "And obesity. He told me I should be crying because of that. I was. It was going on right in front of me."

Cynthia snorted. "Schizoid, lecturing, _and_ fat. Glad I'm not in your shoes."

"Glad I'm not in yours." Elizabeth said. "Without him."  
"That's just terrific, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. She sighed. "But again, I worry about anyone's sanity who's married to Stefan. I don't know if you can handle him."  
"Of course I can." said Elizabeth.

"Look, Maya's going to be home from school pretty soon, and I've got stuff I've got to do, but..." She trailed off. "Maybe we can talk about this tomorrow. You can tell me about...the stuff that's going on. With Stefan, and...the pregnancy."

Elizabeth considered. "I'd like that." she said after a moment.

"So." Cynthia said, upon the next phone call. "What about you? Where are you from?"

"I'm from Chicago, but my parents are from Indiana." Elizabeth said. "They moved here when I was six."

"And your dad's a lawyer?" Cynthia said.

"Yes." Elizabeth said.

"What about your mother? What does she do?"  
"She was...a waitress, actually." Elizabeth said. "She worked in a diner, which was near where my dad was going to college."

"His parents wanted him to marry someone else, I bet." Cynthia said. "Since he was a law student and everything."  
"No, actually, they were working class types, but they were upset with him, because they were devout Catholics, and she was Jewish." Elizabeth said. "But she converted, and then they got along a little better, she and my grandparents."

"I hate Catholics." Cynthia said. "My mother's one."  
"_I'm_ Catholic." Elizabeth said pointedly.

"Well, there you go. See?" said Cynthia. "My dad, too. But my mother is, as you put it, a _devout_ Catholic. Of the old school kind. Fire, brimstone, condemning of the heretics. You name it."  
"What do your parents do?" Elizabeth asked.

"Oh, my mother stayed at home with the kids, and my dad is a magazine publisher."  
"Oh." Elizabeth said. "Are they still together?"  
"Unfortunately. I spent my whole childhood wishing she'd leave, and take my sister with her. Sweet little Ann."  
"Oh." Elizabeth said. "What does she do? Ann?"

"Oh, she doesn't do anything now, just a stay at home mother, with her kids. She used to go to college out here, and that was how _I _came to be out here. We were roommates for awhile."  
"Are you two close?"  
"Oh, she has her moments." Cynthia said. "But we couldn't be more different. She's very goody-two shoes, Ann. Sweet and docile. And a _devout_ Catholic, of course. Though nicer about it than our mother was."  
"Was she abusive?" Elizabeth said.

"She could give a good slap on the face, when she wanted." said Cynthia. "But mostly she was abusive with her religion. Told me I was going to hell if I did _any_ of the things I wanted to do. Like smoke. I'm lighting a cigarette right now, Mom. Lighting the fires of hell."

Elizabeth laughed. "Like Carrie's mom?" she said with interest.

"Yes." Cynthia said. "Quite a bit like."  
"Stephen King is my favorite writer." Elizabeth said. "I've been reading him since I was ten years old, and I know all his books, practically forwards and backwards. Do you like Stephen King?"  
"I do like Stephen King." Cynthia said. "Actually, you might say he was my favorite writer, as well."

"He's great, isn't he?" Elizabeth paused. "Stefan is not as fond. In fact, my love for Uncle Stevie is a frequent target practice for his rapier wit."  
"Didn't know he had one." Cynthia replied.

"Oh, yes, he does, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "And you did, too. You just won't admit it."  
"Whatever you say." Cynthia replied. "My mother wouldn't allow me to read Stephen King. Said he was anti-religious, anti-God. All that stuff."

"He's against organized religion, like Catholicism, for sure." Elizabeth replied. "But he's not anti-God. _The Stand_ is all about the plan of God, and following God's will."

"Yeah. I guess." said Cynthia.

"That's my favorite of his." Elizabeth said. "_The Stand_, of course. Yourself?"  
"Yeah, that one's pretty good. If I had to pick, I'd say it was his best." Cynthia said.

"I always cry, whenever I get to the end of it." said Elizabeth. "Because I hate to leave the characters' world."  
"I don't usually find that happening to me." Cynthia said. "Crying while reading. This occurs when you're _not_ pregnant?"

"Sure it does." Elizabeth said. "What of it?"  
"Maybe you're crying because you have to be around Stefan." Cynthia said. "Think that could be?"

"Only because I adore him so much, it brings me to tears, Cynthia." Elizabeth replied airily. She bit her lip. "That was a quote from _The Stand_, that thing I was saying to you yesterday. About being so cold, that I felt like I would never be warm again. It was how Randall Flagg was described, in the book."

"Really." Cynthia said. "Huh."  
"It said in the book, that when Randall Flagg would make love to a woman, they would be so cold, that they would feel as though they would never be warm again afterwards." Elizabeth informed her.

"Stop, stop." Cynthia said. "You just want to talk about 'afterwards' don't you?"  
Elizabeth bit her lip. "Why?"she said. "Are you saying that's how _I _feel, after Stefan makes love to me?"  
"I wouldn't have any idea how you feel."Cynthia said dryly. "But now that you mention it, that was how _I _felt, afterwards. Very apt, actually."  
"Oh, no, it wasn't." Elizabeth said. "You told me yesterday, that he was _phenomenal_ in bed. That was the word you used. Phenomenal."  
"Well, it was how I felt after having a conversation with him." Cynthia retorted.

"That's stupid." said Elizabeth.

"Actually, I just felt angry." Cynthia said. "Furious. So filled with rage at his inability to communicate properly, that I felt like I might never be calm again."

Elizabeth sighed, again not wanting Cynthia to know that she related to this. "Well, Cynthia, when I think of Stefan's sexual prowess, I'm reminded of _another_ quote from Stephen King." she said. "This one from _Home Delivery_. That's a short story of his. 'Sometimes, the loving was so good, that she felt weak in the knees, during the day. Thinking about it.'."

"I swear to you, I am going to hang up this phone if you say anything like that again." Cynthia said, making a noise of extreme distaste.

"Sorry." Elizabeth said, but there was laughter in her voice.

"Yeah, right." Cynthia said. "I think you're twisted."

"I am." Elizabeth said. "What about it?"

"Well, be twisted then, as long as it doesn't involve your sexual exploits with Stefan." said Cynthia.

"I want to know _all_ his." Elizabeth informed her. "Who he was with, and what he did, what he would do, what he _wouldn't _do, even if asked, what-"  
"Let's change the subject." Cynthia said quickly. "This...your first marriage?"

"Yes." Elizabeth replied. She paused, considering. "Are you married? You said you and John were divorced."

"No, I'm not married." Cynthia said.

"Boyfriend?" Elizabeth said.

"Yes." Cynthia said. "I've got someone I'm seeing. He's pretty great. Very...real, and down to earth. Very working class New York."  
"Yeah?" Elizabeth said. "What is he, a construction worker, or something?"  
"Lawyer." Cynthia said.

"No joke." Elizabeth said.

"Yep."

"Guess you just can't resist them, can you?" Elizabeth said.

"As long as it isn't _that _particular lawyer." said Cynthia.

"Does your daughter like him?" Elizabeth said.

"Yeah, she's okay with him." said Cynthia. "He's very charming with everyone, in his own way. Her stepfather was like that, too. She liked him a lot, he was a good male influence in her life, but..." She trailed off.

"You mean...there was another marriage?" Elizabeth said. "Besides John?"

"Yes, there was another guy I was married to." Cynthia said. "Why? You don't approve, Miss Catholic?"  
"No, I just..." Elizabeth bit her lip. "What happened to him?"

"Nothing happened to him, he just..." Cynthia sighed. "He had an eye for the ladies, too. But at least he was more honest about it than John was."

"So he cheated on you?" Elizabeth said. "This...other guy?"

"Yeah, I knew that he couldn't stay faithful, so I told him that it wouldn't be a deal-breaker." said Cynthia. "But in the end, I just couldn't do it. I can't be married to someone, and have him sleeping with other women, on the side."

"So you had an open marriage?" Elizabeth asked.

"Sort of. Yeah." Cynthia said. "Boy, would that piss Mom off, wouldn't it?"  
"Aren't you a little too old to be thinking about ways to piss your mom off?" Elizabeth asked.

"Watch it." Cynthia responded. "Aren't _you _a little too old to be crying over Frannie, and Stu, and Tom and Nick?"

"You're never too old to cry when Nick Andros dies, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "Or when Tom Cullen sees him as a vision, after Stu gets sick."

"I beg to differ." Cynthia said.

"But I'd cold cock any bitch that looked at Stefan, in a heartbeat." Elizabeth said. "I could never have an open marriage."  
"Well, don't be thinking of me." Cynthia said. "Looking at Stefan was something I'd hoped to never to again, if I can help it."

"That's because there's something wrong with you." Elizabeth retorted.

"Something wrong with you." Cynthia retorted. "But most of all, there's something wrong, very much so, with him."  
"But you didn't love him." Elizabeth stated.

"You _can't _love him." said Cynthia.

"I can." said Elizabeth. "You didn't try, Cynthia. You didn't _want _to try."  
"After awhile, no, I didn't." said Cynthia.

"What about John? Did you love him?"  
"I liked John." Cynthia said. "And the sex was great. But, as mentioned, he's a semi-sociopath, and a liar, and it didn't take him long to leave me for some blond skank half his age."  
"How long were you two married?"

"Two years." Cynthia said.

"What about the other guy? What was his name?" Elizabeth asked.

"Eliot."  
"Eliot. Did you love him?"

"Again, I feel like we're on Oprah. Yes. I loved Eliot. He was one of the best guys I've been in a serious relationship with."  
"But he couldn't keep it in his pants." Elizabeth said.

"No, he couldn't." Cynthia agreed. There was a silence. "What about you? Any other guys before Stefan?"

"Just one. Toby." Elizabeth said.

"Only one?" Cynthia said.

"Pretty much." Elizabeth said. "Yeah, yeah. I guess so. Just Toby."  
"Is that because of the Catholic thing, or..."

"No, no. Not really." Elizabeth said, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden. "I just...had strong feelings for Toby. At one time. And I didn't want anyone...else I guess."

"How long were you together?" Cynthia asked.

"About three years." said Elizabeth.

"What did he do? Toby?" said Cynthia. "For a living?"  
"He used to own this bakery that I worked at." Elizabeth said. "And he writes. He's really into Stephen King, too. That's how we met, actually. In junior high, in this after-school Stephen King discussion group."

"Wow." Cynthia said. "So your love of Stephen King got you together with this guy?"

"Seems so. Yeah." Elizabeth replied.

"Interesting." said Cynthia. There was a moment's silence. "But you said you were together for three years. Are you trying to tell me that your only other relationship was with a guy in junior high school?"  
"No, but what if it was?" Elizabeth retorted angrily. "But no. We didn't get together until college."

"Not until college?" Cynthia said. "So...where were other love interests? You must have had at least one, right."

Elizabeth sighed. "No." she said. "Okay? I was...I had allowed myself to get...too involved, with my feelings for Toby."

"So...you didn't date anybody else?" said Cynthia. "Between college and junior high?"

"No." Elizabeth said.

"What about...after college? After you broke up?"

"No, I..." she trailed off. "I waited for him, okay? For a long time. Because I thought we were going to get back together. Okay?"  
"You don't have to sound so embarrassed about it." Cynthia said. "No one's judging you."

"Why, do you think someone _might _have been?" asked Elizabeth.

"Probably, if we're talking about anyone you're married to." said Cynthia.

"He loves me. It makes him angry, the idea of some creep treating me like dirt." said Elizabeth. "Which Toby did. He couldn't keep it in his pants, either. But he acted so _apologetic_ about it. Saying he didn't want me to be unhappy because of anyone, not even him. Then he acts like I'm obsessed with him, and he's all gung-ho to push me on Stefan. But then it turns out, I really liked Stefan. So he tried to break us up."

"Sounds like an asshole, all right."

"But you know what I did, Cynthia?" Elizabeth said. "I _listened_ to Toby. I have this fear, that people think I'm...not all there. And, as you pointed out to me, Stefan's..."  
"Not all there." Cynthia said.

"Right." said Elizabeth. "Sort of. He kept telling me, I shouldn't stay together with Stefan, and all the reasons why. And there was this friend of our's, Toby's and mine, who was getting married. And I was invited to her wedding, and of course, everybody, all our friends from college, knew about Toby, and my thing with him. And how he treated me. People think I'm weird."  
"Shock of all shocks." said Cynthia, but her tone was not altogether a mean one.

"And," Elizabeth continued. "crazy. Some people think I am, of that group. And they all expected me to be with...a respectable lawyer. But..I knew the truth, that...I would be going with that shy, awkward, stiff...odd man you deride so much. And I was _embarrassed_. So I went alone."

"Probably the best decision of your life." Cynthia said.

"And of course, Stefan found out about it." said Elizabeth. "And he was very hurt, I'd lied to him and told him I had some errand to run, or something. I found him sitting home, all alone, and the power had gone out. He'd been in the dark for hours. And I'd gone to the wedding alone, because I was embarrassed about his...quirks, among other things."

"Well, of course Stefan found out about it." Cynthia said. "He is a very nosy, inquisitive sort of person. You should be grateful he didn't tail you, and wait outside the church with binoculars."

"Yeah." Elizabeth said quietly. "I know. I should."  
"You agree with me, then?" Cynthia said. "He is a pain to deal with."  
"I don't care, Cynthia."  
"And you were...embarrassed. By his...schizoid-ness. Afraid of how he was going to deal with the people at the wedding. That he would...say something off. And then there'd be an awkward silence, and then...general torture, for everyone around."  
"Torture for him, too you know, Cynthia." Elizabeth said quickly. "It's very hard for him to socialize, sometimes."

"Yeah, well." Cynthia muttered. "You have Internet?"  
"Yes."

"Look up 'schizoid personality disorder', why don't you? See if it doesn't sound like he has a whole lot of symptoms of it."

"All right, Cynthia." Elizabeth agreed. "If you insist."

"I swear, the only emotion I ever saw that man display was rage." said Cynthia. "And even then, it was a kind of muted rage. But it was rage."

"That simply isn't true." Elizabeth said staunchly. "Stefan is a sweet man. It just takes a sweet woman in order to bring it out in him."

"Well, that's swell." said Cynthia. "Would that be the same woman who called him 'The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man' on the phone yesterday? Sweet, you're not."

"Mr. Stay Puft was sweet, Cynthia." Elizabeth replied. "The real shill. That was just something that took the form of the Stay Puft Man."

"Yeah, well." said Cynthia. "Watch out, I think Stefan might be capable of the rage of the evil Stay Puft Man. As I recall it, after Stefan found out that John and I had been..seeing each other, he sent back a pile of my stuff in a moving van. And some of it was broken. A pair of sunglasses, a ceramic cat, and worst of all, sculptures that I greatly valued. _My _own sculptures. Deliberately broken, not just in the moving van. Methodically broken, by the look of them."

"He can be extremely spiteful. And he breaks things." Elizabeth said, irritably, though there was a semi-fond note in his voice. "I know this."

"Yeah?" Cynthia said. "What did he break of yours?"

"Well," Elizabeth said. "One time, I bought this DVD of that movie, _Red Eye_, on sale. Remember that movie?"  
"I do." Cynthia said.

"And there's this actor in it, his name is Cillian Murphy."  
"From _28 Days Later_, right?" Cynthia said.

"Yes." said Elizabeth. "And I said that Stefan looked like him."  
"And that made him angry?"

"No." Elizabeth said. "But...I might have also implied...said..."  
"Said what?"  
"That...Stefan...may not be as...svelte as Cillian Murphy. At this...present juncture."

"I see." Cynthia said. "And that made him mad, of course."  
"So because I said that this actor was thinner than Stefan-"  
"And younger."  
"That too. Because I said that Stefan maybe doesn't look quite as good as Cillian Murphy _anymore..._well, we had this huge fight, and...and then Stefan broke the DVD." Elizabeth said, a sheepish note in her voice, biting her lip. "Methodically, as you said. Slowly. With much...diligent deliberation."

"Uh huh."

"And carved the...carved the words 'Fuck You'..." Elizabeth said, her words breaking apart with laughter. "...into the disc."

"Isn't that sweet?"  
"And tore up the liner. And sprinkled it like confetti." Elizabeth said. "Sometimes, I'll still find pieces of it, in various places around the living room."

"Well." Cynthia said. "I wouldn't watch _Ghostbusters_ with him, then. Doubtful you'd be able to control your mouth, at the...villain of the movie." She cleared her throat. "Why did you say that, anyway?"  
"I don't know." Elizabeth said. "It just...slipped out, before I could do anything about it."

"Well, you had it coming, you know." Cynthia said. "You're a vicious bitch."

"Beg pardon?" Elizabeth said.

"You are." Cynthia said. "You've reached levels of bitchery that I wouldn't have even dreamed of. And I can be a bitch myself, but you, with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man thing, and comparing your husband's looks unfavorably to some actor who's in his thirties, at most-"  
"So now you're on his side?"

"Of course not." Cynthia said. "I admire you. When your husband is Stefan, it becomes completely understandable why you'd compare him unfavorably to a much younger man. I bet he was sitting there...needling you, and in that flat, emotionless voice, calling you a liar. Prattling against Bush...the first one, when he was with me. Being suckered into some black hole of an argument, and-"  
"All right, Cynthia." Elizabeth said.

"Most of all, you're a bitch for saying that guy in _Red Eye_ looks like Stefan." Cynthia said. "I thought he was kind of sexy. You ruined the movie for me."

"Sorry to ruin it." Elizabeth said. "He does look like him. If Stefan weren't fat, of course."

"Well, of course." Cynthia said. She cleared her throat. "Have you been okay, with the...hormone issues?"  
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I'm doing much better."  
"You're not having suicidal thoughts, or anything?" Cynthia said. "Are you?"  
"No." Elizabeth said quietly.

"Homicidal?"

"_No_." Elizabeth said.

"Just checking." Cynthia said.

"Yourself?" Elizabeth said. "Have you had any?"  
"Well, you did bring up Stefan." said Cynthia.

"Maybe you're in love with him." Elizabeth said, in a mock accusatory tone. "That's why you're so angry."  
"Well, of course. Everyone on the planet wants Stefan." Cynthia said. "You know that."  
"They really do." Elizabeth said. "Men, women, animals...the entire Lollipop Guild. He told me he dated a dwarf once, you know."  
"Was it Happy, or Dopey?"

"Bethany." Elizabeth said. "That was her name. She was a lawyer."  
"Was this after me?"  
"Yes." Elizabeth said.

"What happened with her?"  
"Oh, he broke up with her because she asked him to go temple with her."  
"He's got something against Jewish people?"

"Of course not."  
"Worship services?"  
"No." Elizabeth said. "He...didn't like the idea of...gathering with people, like church or temple. It freaked him out. And her faith was a big part of her life. So she was out."

"Another episode in 'Tales of Reclusiveness and Abnormality'." said Cynthia.

"Yes." said Elizabeth. "So the lawyer dwarf was out. But he said he had a special fondness for her. Felt really sad, when he realized their lifestyles were incompatible."  
"I bet." Cynthia said.

"I bet she had a special fondness for him, as well, though." said Elizabeth. "Because he's grumpy _and_ sneezy."

"I bet she did." said Cynthia.

"But also bashful." Elizabeth added.

"Schizoid." Cynthia said. "Abnormal."  
"Call it what you will." Elizabeth said.

"I'd watch out for that tape-destroying maniac if I were you, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "He could be a ride you won't survive."

"Especially if he gets on top." Elizabeth said. "There's only so much weight a girl can take."

"Oh oh. You...are..a venomous...whore." Cynthia said, after a moment's silence. She laughed. "Especially for making me picture that. I was _not_ talking about that kind of a ride, Elizabeth."

"I know." Elizabeth said.

"Sicko." Cynthia said.

"Just a little joke." Elizabeth said. She bit her lip. "Well. This was fun."  
"It was." Cynthia said. "We must do this again, sometime."  
"Want to see a picture of how fat Stefan is?" Elizabeth said.

"My lifelong dream." said Cynthia.

"Want to meet sometime?"  
"I don't know." said Cynthia. "What would Stefan say about you talking to his ex-girlfriend?"

"I don't even want to know." Elizabeth replied. "I just won't tell him, for now."  
"Or ever." said Cynthia. "The last thing I want to see is him."  
"Okay." said Elizabeth.

"You take care now, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "Look up that schizoid thing, when you have a chance, okay?"  
"I will." Elizabeth said. "I'll give it my full attention."  
"Don't let Stefan rule your entire life, like I'm sure he wants to. Okay?"  
"Don't worry, I don't." Elizabeth replied.

"And hide away any valuables you have." Cynthia said. "Should he go on a rampage and destroy them."  
"I'll be sure to." Elizabeth said.

There was a moment's silence. "How does it feel," Cynthia asked after a moment. "Having a whacko husband?"

Elizabeth gazed at the door, where Stefan would no doubt be stepping through in a few hours. "It feels wonderful." she said.

Elizabeth had felt an itching kind of nervousness around Stefan, since her conversations with Cynthia. She could only picture that he'd be angry, stupefied at her desire to talk with her, and he'd also be hurt, she knew, at the thought of her going behind his back, and talking with someone who in his purview, was against him.

Of course, Elizabeth agreed, that Cynthia had done him great wrong, and she certainly was none too fond of him, but, as Elizabeth saw it, she did not mean him any significant harm, as the wrongdoing had taken place a good many years ago, and the last thing Cynthia wanted to do was even speak with him, let alone plot ways to hurt him. At least, that was what she thought, though she by no means trusted Cynthia.

But talking to Cynthia, especially about things having to do with Stefan, gave Elizabeth a feeling of excitement, danger. The idea of talking with someone from Stefan's distant past. And Elizabeth, in spite of herself, liked Cynthia. Talking to her, about anything, even though it appeared Cynthia's least favorite person in the world happened to be Elizabeth's favorite person in the world, had made Elizabeth feel better about things.

Of course, Stefan would definitely not feel the same way. But Elizabeth would think of that later.

What Cynthia had said had disturbed her, about Stefan having schizoid tendencies. Once she had heard it, she could not get it out of her mind. She was ruminating on this, and other things, one afternoon, sitting at the kitchen table, when Stefan had come home for lunch.

"Lizzie, you haven't touched your soup." Stefan said.

"Hmmm?" Elizabeth said. "Oh, I'm not very hungry right now, Stefan."  
"You're pregnant." Stefan said. "You have to eat."

"I'll eat later, Stefan."  
"Have you eaten today?" said Stefan.

"No." said Elizabeth. "I'll eat later."  
"Elizabeth, it might not be good for you to skip lunch." Stefan said.

"What are you, my mother?" Elizabeth asked irritably, shaking her head.

Stefan furrowed his brow at her, looking concerned. "Lizzie, are you anorexic?" he said. "You're not _pro_-anorexic, are you?"  
Elizabeth began to laugh. "No. I'm...pro _you_ being anorexic."

"Funny, Lizzie." Stefan said. "But not very. It's abusive."

"Well, I'm a bitch." Elizabeth said.

"No, you're not, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"I might be." Elizabeth said.

"I thought you liked chubby men, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"I do." Elizabeth replied.

"Well. Why would you be for my being anorexic, then?"

"It's a joke, Stefan." Elizabeth said.

"I know it's a joke." said Stefan. "But it's a joke that implies that you'd like me to lose weight."

"Well, for your health, and all." said Elizabeth.

"So if it were healthy, then that's what you'd prefer me to be?" Stefan said. "Overweight?"  
"I want you to be whatever makes you happy, Stefan."Elizabeth replied.

"Well, it doesn't." Stefan said. "Make me happy."

"Well." Elizabeth said. "Why don't you eat less, and exercise, then?"  
"I thought that you said that you became aroused by overweight men, Elizabeth." said Stefan.

"I do." said Elizabeth.

"Well, then." said Stefan. "Why do you appear not to care, if I'd lose weight?"  
"Because...I want you to be confident." said Elizabeth. "And I'd want you no matter what. Of course." She was looking at him contemplatively, and was startled out of a momentary reverie, when she noticed Stefan staring at her right back.

"What's the matter with you?" Elizabeth said testily. "Why are you staring at me?"  
"Are you slipping away from me, Lizzie?" Stefan said. He placed his hand on her arm, and squeezed softly, though the squeeze was definitely a proprietary one, which the mischievous arch of his brow informed her, in the unlikely event that she could not have discerned it already. She cleared her throat.

"What do you mean?" Elizabeth said.

"I just feel...you might be thinking angry thoughts." Stefan said. "About me."

"Not really." said Elizabeth.

"I can sense it." Stefan said. "A grey wolf has the ability to sense such things, you know."

"Sure." Elizabeth scoffed. She looked at him, shaking her head. "Why must you take everything I say so _literally_?"  
"I don't." said Stefan.

"I think you do." Elizabeth said.

"Nonsense, Lizzie." said Stefan. He looked at her. "Maybe you're feeling...unloved. Neglected. Is that it?"  
"No, that's not it at-"

"Perhaps you just need someone to...clear your mind of these angry thoughts, you're having about me." He put his hand on her knee, and massaged it gently. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm not having angry thoughts." Elizabeth said.

"I think you are, Lizzie." Stefan said. He locked eyes with her, extending his legs out towards hers, and encircled them with his own, sliding them down her calves. She rolled her eyes, and looked off in the other direction.

"Still pretending to be immune to your desires, I see." said Stefan. "Why don't you give it a rest?"

"Still playing cat-and-mouse games, _I _see." Elizabeth retorted. "Don't you have cheeseburgers you could be eating?"

"That kind of talk simply won't be tolerated, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"Don't be surprised if you see fliers, around town," Elizabeth said. "saying, 'Lost Cat: 'Mr. Grey'. Likes to toy with prey, but rarely kills it'."  
"Especially cheeky, irritating rodents, right, Lizzie?"  
" 'Yellow fur.'" Elizabeth continued. " 'Rusty mew. He is a plump cat, but we like him. Call Elizabeth, if found. Reward offered.'"

"Well, I'm glad 'we' like him, Elizabeth." Stefan replied. "Whoever 'we' might be."

"Of course 'we' like him." Elizabeth said. She put her hand on his, squeezing it.

"You did say you had a soft spot for...plump cats, after all." Stefan said.

"I adore plump cats." she said. "They don't get...petted as much as the...slimmer cats. I think you might need to be...petted now." She put her hand on his knee. "What do you think?"

"I do." Stefan replied. He ran his hand up and down her throat gently. "And Lizzie?"  
"Mmm?"

"Best remember," he said, arching an eyebrow at her. "that there's never a time when I _don't_ 'kill it'."

"Okay, Stefan." Elizabeth replied. "But nonetheless, you'll always be...kind of a lost cat."

"So." Cynthia said, on the phone the following week. "You were crazy enough to actually do it. Call those...two people he went to high school with?"

"Yep." Elizabeth replied.

"And what exactly...did they say?"  
"Well, Blane, his friend from those days, who hasn't spoken to him for thirty years, had the most to offer." Elizabeth said. "He told me that Stefan was this spoiled, rich kid, who strong-armed him into doing 'bad' things he never would have done otherwise." She cleared her throat. "Did he tell you about that?"  
"I guess." Cynthia said. "He told me he had a past, I guess. I don't know anything about any of those people, or him being anything other than a boring, robotic lawyer."

"I doubt he was ever boring." said Elizabeth.

"He was always so...sullen, and entitled." Cynthia said. "That I do know about him. A lot of schizoid males are, though. Did you read those articles I told you about, on the Internet?"  
"I did." said Elizabeth. "Unfortunately, Stefan was checking my Internet history the other day, and...well, found links to the articles."

"Uh huh." Cynthia said. "And...? What did he say?"  
"He said it was interesting." Elizabeth said.

"Does he know you think he shows signs of it?" Cynthia asked with interest.

"No." said Elizabeth. "He didn't."  
"Schizoid people rarely recognize themselves." Cynthia said.

"Which is why I told him I think he has it." Elizabeth continued.

"Really." said Cynthia. "Huh. And what did he say?"  
"That it was preposterous." Elizabeth said. "That he's perfectly healthy, and doesn't have any kind of mental disorder. That it was greatly insulting of me to even suggest it."

"And what do you think," Cynthia said. "after he said that?"  
"That if he doesn't show signs of it, I don't know who does." Elizabeth replied.

"Uh huh. Now you're showing some sense." Cynthia replied. "But let's backtrack. I find it to be _very_ distressing that the phrase 'Stefan was checking my browsing history.' was uttered with complete lack of irony. Is that an everyday occurrence?"  
"Not every day, no." Elizabeth said. "Just when it occurs to him to do it."

"And you're completely okay with this?" said Cynthia. "He just invades your privacy, whenever he feels like it? A common practice with him, isn't it?"  
"Well..." Elizabeth said. "I don't have any secrets from Stefan."

"Please." Cynthia said incredulously. "I can't believe anyone in this day and age would allow themselves to be so...lily livered."  
"Hey, I am not lily-livered." Elizabeth said angrily. "It just so happens, that Stefan might be a little paranoid, because..." She trailed off, swallowing.

"Because of what?" Cynthia said. "Oh, go ahead and say it. Because of me, right?"  
"No.."  
"Well, you are not going to put this on me." said Cynthia. "I can't believe that you would be this naive, Elizabeth. He was like that long before he met me, and you know it."  
"Well-"  
"Grow the fuck up, would you?" Cynthia said. "The man is a psychopathic control freak."  
"He is not psychopathic, Cynthia." Elizabeth replied. "He's just...that's just the way he is. He's shy, so he's a bit meddlesome and bossy as a way of compensating."

"Make excuses for him all you want, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "The man is scary."  
"He's not scary to me." Elizabeth replied. "And he loves me. He cares about me. He doesn't really check my history to make sure I'm not cheating on him. He trusts me implicitly, as far as that goes. He just...?"  
"Just what?" said Cynthia.

"He thinks I...get too...obsessed with things." Elizabeth replied. "He worries about me. He worries I'm going to get depressed, and maybe...he worries I might be suicidal, too."

"Were you?" Cynthia asked. "Suicidal?"  
"No." Elizabeth said. "No, _he_ was. In college. Maybe in high school, too. Maybe...even earlier than that, possibly."

"Oh."

"Didn't you know?" Elizabeth said.

"Yeah." Cynthia said. "Yeah, he told me stuff like that. That he tried to kill himself."  
"Did John?" Elizabeth asked quickly.

Cynthia cleared her throat. "Try to kill himself?" she said. "Is that what you mean?"  
"Yeah." Elizabeth said.

"No." Cynthia said. "Not to my knowledge. John's a cockroach. He'll survive a nuclear blast, and still think he's the greatest thing the world has ever known. Suicidal is not a word that's in his vocabulary."

"Running about his little roach errands?" Elizabeth said caustically.

"Yeah." Cynthia cleared her throat again. There was a moment's silence.

"That was a big part of it." Elizabeth stated. "Wasn't it, Cynthia? That he tried to kill himself? You couldn't handle it, could-"  
"Damn it. Are we back on this, Elizabeth." Cynthia sighed, aggravated. "And no. If he hadn't been _exactly_ how I described him, exactly how you _know_ him to be, no joke, then I would have not paid it any attention. I won't say it wasn't a contributing factor, though, given everything else."

"Well." said Elizabeth. "I guess you just didn't lov-"  
"Hell, no, I didn't." Cynthia said. "But never mind that. Am I really hearing that Stefan 'checks my browsing history 'cuz he loves me.'?"

"Yes." Elizabeth said. "In his own way-"  
"And he does it...because he thinks you're suicidal?" Cynthia said. "Even though you have _no_ previous history of suicide attempts, or suicidal thoughts?"  
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said.

"Well." Cynthia said tartly. "Isn't that _just_ like a schizoid. Always thinking that everyone is exactly like them. Never having any kind of connection with any reality, or thought process other than their own."  
"Cynthia-" Elizabeth sighed. "He means well."  
"Doesn't he always." said Cynthia. "Especially according to him. Always telling me how _well_ his intentions were. And how he knew _so_ much better than I did."

"It's not just suicidal thoughts he's worried about, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "Stefan worries...about me. He likes to know that I'm...okay. Not doing anything...weird, or crazy, or harmful to myself. He likes to feel a connection with me, to know what I'm doing. Just in case."

"In other words, he thinks that you can't think for yourself." Cynthia said. "Or that you're a raving lunatic, and he has to make sure you're not...crank calling the CIA, or something. Isn't that what you're saying?"  
"He doesn't think I'm crazy, Cynthia." Elizabeth said, her voice level. "He just likes the...idea of watching over me. Stefan likes to watch over people, and use his skills as an...antagonizer, to help the little guy, if he can. And to be assured that I'm not doing anything he considers harmful. Like going to the...Fox News website. You know." Her words did sound a little silly, to her own ears, but nonetheless, she was not about to waver in her loyalty.

"So." said Cynthia. "In his eyes, you're little more than a child, who can't think for herself. You're young, aren't you?"

"Not that young. And what business-"  
"If you weren't, you wouldn't say that." Cynthia interjected. "I knew it. Bastard went out and got himself a young wife. Well."

"Oh?" Elizabeth said. "That makes you angry, the idea of that? You're...jealous?"  
Cynthia snorted loudly. "Yeah." she said. "Yeah, I wish I could be married to him right now, and have him checking my Internet history, every time I turn around. I don't even check Maya's history that often, if ever, and she's thirteen. Get real, Elizabeth."  
"Maybe you don't want to be married to him." Elizabeth said. "Maybe you just want to have sex with him."

"With the blob you described him as having turned into?"

"I didn't say 'blob'." Elizabeth said, her voice small, due to guilt.

"Oh, I'm sure it's not a pretty sight, no matter the metaphor." Cynthia said. "But don't worry. Middle-aged lard-asses are not my thing. I'll leave them for you."  
"Good." Elizabeth said.

"I just...feel irritated, that despite having a completely repugnant personality, and being well over forty, to boot," said Cynthia. "He still manages to attract much younger women. And probably thinks that's okay."  
"Of course it's okay." Elizabeth said. "I'm no teenager. I was twenty-five when we met."

"So you're what? Twenty-eight, now?" Cynthia said.

"Something like that." Elizabeth replied. "Could be a much bigger age difference. Now couldn't there?"  
"I guess." Cynthia said. "Not much of one."

"It's none of your business, who's what age, Cynthia." Elizabeth said.

"Well. Never mind that, then." said Cynthia. "To recap. Stefan wants to make sure there's no margin of error that you're not...crazy as a bedbug, and going to...chatrooms about why it's cool to jump off a bridge. With no precedent for this having been set by you."  
"I guess." Elizabeth said. She sniffed.

"And like he was your father." Cynthia continued. "And a rather overprotective father, the kind most children would probably be in therapy for years after being raised by."

"You know, you're really not helping." Elizabeth said, thinking of her impending delivery. "With my worries about the children."

"Well, gee." Cynthia said. "Do you see any red flags going up, as to issues you might have to work out with him about his parenting? I mean, if you can't even keep him from obsessively checking your browsing history..."

"Okay, Cynthia." said Elizabeth. "Okay. I get it."

"I sure hope so." Cynthia said. "And this has gone on since you were married, hasn't it? This checking up on you?"

"Yeah, okay?" Elizabeth said testily.

"And you're completely okay with this?" Cynthia said. "His opinion that you...need supervision?"

"Well..._no_, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "But I've come to accept it. That that's how he is. Because he _is_ doing it, because he cares for me like no one has ever cared for me."

"I think, Elizabeth," Cynthia said. "that living with Stefan has driven you insane, if you really believe that."

"No, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "I've got to accept his flaws as a human being. Stefan has a good heart, and if a little patronizing and...supervising is what I've got to accept, then so be it. I love him, Cynthia."

Cynthia sighed. "What about your...actual parents?" Cynthia said. "You're saying that they didn't care for you? You were an unloved child?"  
"They cared for me." Elizabeth replied. "Of course they did. But they were...always a little bit...wrapped up in their own lives. Even my dad, who I'm really close to, he...always had his own things, going on a lot of the time."  
"And you say he's Stefan's partner?" Cynthia said.

"Yes."

"What would he say about this?" Cynthia said. "About the idea of his daughter being married to...someone who actually checks what sites she goes to on the Internet?"

"I think he'd know to stay the hell out of my marriage, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "But, to be honest with you, I don't think my dad would be the least bit surprised. He knows Stefan better than anyone else does, except for me. He's not...unaware of his quirks, to say the least."

"Well." Cynthia said. "Maybe you're right, and maybe I should stay the hell out of your marriage."  
"Uh huh." said Elizabeth. "Indeed."  
"But you sought me out," Cynthia said. "and you asked for my opinion."  
"Actually, I didn't." Elizabeth interjected. "I asked you for _information_. About Stefan."

"You told me," Cynthia said. "that you're marooned in a situation which involves you being all alone, with the only outside associate besides Stefan being your father."  
"I guess."  
"And you're right." Cynthia said. "Obviously, in-laws should have no say in anyone's marriage. That's a certainty. But to make things even more hellish for you, it sounds like your father and Stefan have a dialogue. That in case you _wanted_ to talk to your dad about anything, since they work together...well. Seems he's got every way imaginable to check up on you, doesn't it?"  
"It's not like that, Cynthia." Elizabeth said quietly. "Not at all."

"What about...your mother?" Cynthia asked. "Is she...still living?"  
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "They got divorced, when I was seventeen."

"Do you talk to her?" Cynthia asked.

"Stefan and I visit her sometimes." Elizabeth said. "We talk, but..."

"But...?  
"I don't know." Elizabeth said.

"What?" Cynthia said.

"It's just...my mother's a little...well. Maybe...the type to let someone check her browsing history, herself." Elizabeth said. "If my dad had been so inclined. Which he isn't."

"I see." Cynthia said. "Not exactly a strong, independent woman, you mean."

"No." Elizabeth said. "Not. But _I _am."  
"I don't know, Elizabeth."  
"You don't know me, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "Obviously. And when I say something like 'Stefan was checking my history last night.', well. Believe me, when I say, it is _not_ said without irony. Quite the opposite, in fact. I know _exactly_ how outrageous and demeaning it is for Stefan to knowingly and unashamedly check up on me like he's my daddy or something. You don't treat adults that way."

"No, you don't." Cynthia agreed.

"It's all a big joke, that you don't know me well enough, and are to blinded by bias against Stefan to get." said Elizabeth. "About how he's a complete...bossy, domineering lunatic, to the point where it just becomes laughably pathetic." Elizabeth swallowed.

"I'm not too sure, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "About your actual...awareness of that fact."  
"But, at the same time." Elizabeth said. "Stefan would be...utterly crushed if he ever heard me say such a thing in all seriousness. I can only see the look on his face." Elizabeth began to feel her eyes well up.

"I'd be glad to see it, for one." Cynthia drawled.

Elizabeth sniffled. "Because he is," she said, her mind drawing upon an article she read on the disorder Cynthia kept mentioning so ardently. " 'exquisitely sensitive'. Granted, a good deal of his 'exquisite' sensitivity is on his own behalf, but-" Cynthia laughed shortly.

"But the point is," Elizabeth said, shaking her head. "a lot of it isn't. Stefan cares for me, and only wants to help me, whatever way he knows how. I don't think he's really had anyone to take care of, for most of his life. When he was growing up, he took care of his friend, Blane...in his own way. Didn't let anybody mess with him. Blane was kind of a wimp, to hear him tell it."  
"Right. Well." Cynthia said. "So you're just going to indulge him in this little fantasy that he has to 'take care' of you?"  
"It's not that simple." said Elizabeth. "Even though his attitude is absurd, and infuriating...I still can't help but be kind of...touched, at the sentiment behind it."

"Something is wrong with your mind, is all I can say." Cynthia said.

"Thanks a lot." Elizabeth said.

Cynthia sighed. "Look...I can tell...that you love Stefan." she said. "And I don't hold that against you. Well, not too much."  
"I'm glad."  
"And you're going to have kids with him." Cynthia said. "So..I guess...I understand where you're coming from. About wanting to stick it out."

"Oh, there's no question." said Elizabeth. "I'm very happy. I don't see it as something I have to 'stick out'."

"Oh, but you question it at times." Cynthia said. "Especially at those moments when he's checking up on you, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"There's plenty I can do about it." Elizabeth retorted. "And I don't question my happiness here. But I do question _him_. All the time."  
"Yeah, right."

"I do." Elizabeth said angrily. "And, well. If he wants to check my internet history, like a paranoid jackass, then let him. It's a small price to pay, so I just overlook it. I have no secrets from Stefan, anyway. We're open and honest with each other."

"Did you tell him you were talking to me, then?" Cynthia asked.

"No." said Elizabeth. She sniffed. "I didn't."  
"Didn't think so." Cynthia said.

"But I feel guilty about it." Elizabeth added.

"Of course you do." said Cynthia.

"It's kind of fun, though." Elizabeth added. "Exciting. Having a secret life."

"Marry a control freak, and get back at him by having secret talks with his ex-girlfriend." Cynthia said. "The extent of excitement in your life."

"Something to do." Elizabeth replied.

"What about this other one you mentioned?" Cynthia said. "The girl who rejected him? What did _she_ say when you called her?"

"Oh, not much." Elizabeth replied. "I think she's kind of an uppity bitch. She actually chided me, when I told her that Stefan's fat now."

"So you're saying it all around?" Cynthia said. "Putting the word out, as it were?"  
"Yeah." Elizabeth said. "I said it to Blane, too."

"Nice. That'll make up for all those times he went through your things, checked your history. Probably checks the phone bill minutely, too. This is going to show up, you know. These calls."

"It could be my imagination," Elizabeth said uneasily. "But I think Blane might have taken that as indication that I was interested in him. Like I was unsatisfied or something."  
"Oh, gee, I'm sure that that _wasn't_ your imagination." said Cynthia. "What do you expect, when you say something demonstrating disloyalty, to a guy about another guy? That's the _first_ thing they think of."

"I wasn't 'demonstrating disloyalty'." Elizabeth said, irritated.

"_He _thought you were." said Cynthia. "Why would you want to say that, anyway? I can sort of understand the twisted reasoning behind your saying it to me, and this other girl he knew, but Blane? Why did you say that to him?"

"Because the thought that he might find out excites me." said Elizabeth. "The danger of telling people he's fat, and him maybe finding out. It makes me feel...chased. Like I'm being chased."

"There's something wrong with your mind, as I was not unaware of." said Cynthia. "But now I _really_ see it."

"You never had thoughts like that?" Elizabeth asked.

"No." Cynthia said. "Can't say I did."

"Well." said Elizabeth. "I guess you think I'm crazy."

"I already thought you were, if you can stand Stefan." Cynthia replied. "But hell, if you want to make fun of his being fat as an extracurricular activity, I'm only too happy to cheer it on, considering my experiences with him."

"Making fun of fat people. A lost art." Elizabeth said. "Stephen King certainly likes to, in all his books."

"I...guess so." Cynthia said with amusement. "You're a twisted bitch, aren't you?"  
"Are you?" said Elizabeth with interest.

"I don't know." Cynthia said. "Possibly."

"Want to be a twisted bitch with me?" Elizabeth asked.

"As long as it's not an Aileen Wuronos type of deal." Cynthia said. "You're not a female serial killer, are you?"

"No, I'm not a female serial killer." said Elizabeth. "Are you?"

"Nope. There's a lot more to worry about from my end, though." She cleared her throat. "Just a joke. I think."

"Then I 'think' mine was, too." Elizabeth replied sweetly. There was a pause. "Want to meet for coffee tomorrow? Public place?"  
"Yeah, why not?" Cynthia replied. "I'm dying of curiosity about who Stefan could brainwash into marrying him."

"So tomorrow, then." said Elizabeth. "Starbucks?"  
"Sure."

"Great." Elizabeth said. "I'll bring pictures documenting Stefan's waxing girth."

"You do that." said Cynthia. "How will I recognize you?"

"I'll be hugely pregnant." Elizabeth said. "And holding a manila envelope."

Elizabeth, smoothing her pregnant belly, and holding onto an envelope full of pictures of Stefan, saw a petite woman approach her, glancing down at the envelope in her hand.

"Elizabeth?" said Cynthia, gazing at her amusedly.

"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I'm Elizabeth."  
"Guess you were true to your word." Cynthia said. "Do I really have to look at what's in there?"  
"Don't you want to see what you were reprieved from?" Elizabeth said.

"I guess I do." Cynthia said. She cleared her throat. "I guess you're pretty far along."

"Yeah, seven months." Elizabeth said.

"Feeling okay?"

"Tired a lot." Elizabeth said. "Let's go sit down."

"Of course." Cynthia said.

"So." said Cynthia, when they were seated. "Are you excited? About the baby?"  
"Two." Elizabeth said. "I'm going to have two."

"Twins, then."  
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I'm very excited. To be a mom."  
"It has it's moments." Cynthia replied.

"How's Maya?" said Elizabeth.

"She's very well."

"What's she like?" said Elizabeth.

"She's...very smart." Cynthia said. "Studious. Not like I was at that age."

"Does she like to read?"

"Yes." said Cynthia. "She's always got her nose in a book."

"Does she ever read Stephen King?"  
"Not usually, no."

"Do you let her?"  
"If she wants to." Cynthia replied. "I wouldn't start introducing them to _Pet Sematary_, and the like right out of the womb, though. Maybe wait a couple years."

Elizabeth shook her head. "Thanks for telling me that. I really needed to hear it." she said. "Of course Stefan would actually be serious in saying something like that. He really thinks that I'd read Stephen King to our kids."  
"That fat bastard." Cynthia said, with mock conviction.

"Speaking of..." said Elizabeth, spreading the photographs in the envelope on the table.

Cynthia groaned. "I tried so hard to delay it." She took out a pair of reading glasses out of a case in her purse. "It'll happen to you one day, you know." She picked up a photograph.

"Well?"  
"My good lord." said Cynthia, gazing at the photograph.

"Oh, come on." Elizabeth said. "It's not that bad." She bit her lip. "Do you really think?"  
Cynthia sighed. "No, it's just...I don't know." She shook her head. "Not that bad, but it's just kind of a shock, remembering Stefan, the way I remember him, and seeing...well, I wouldn't recognize him if I saw him on the street, I'll tell you that." Cynthia looked off into the distance for a second, and Elizabeth thought that the look on her face was a slightly sad one.

"This a lawyer photo?" Cynthia asked.

"Yep." said Elizabeth. "He takes one of these every year. He and my dad."  
Cynthia looked down at the picture thoughtfully. "Is that your dad right there?"

"Yes." said Elizabeth.

"He's pretty good-looking." said Cynthia gazing at the picture with interest.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "He's sixty years old." she pointed out.

"That doesn't preclude his being good-looking, does it?"

"I guess not." said Elizabeth uncertainly.

"He ever remarry?" Cynthia asked.

"Uh..." said Elizabeth. "Why?"

"Just curious." Cynthia said.

"Why, do you want to go after him?" said Elizabeth, the corners of her mouth turning down, sourly.

"See," Cynthia said, taking a sip of her coffee, and looking at Elizabeth squarely. "that statement makes me think you might be schizoid yourself. You assume everyone is like you. I'm not in any way interested in some guy practically old enough to be my father."

"I resent that." said Elizabeth. "I don't have a preference for older guys."  
"Maybe not a preference." said Cynthia. "A tolerance, that's for sure."  
Elizabeth shook her head sullenly. "I..." She blew out a breath. "I'm...sorry, all right."  
"You should be." Cynthia said. "I was merely making an observation, not expressing romantic interest in your father."  
"Well, he's not remarried, anyway." said Elizabeth. "Okay?"

"Just a passing curiosity." said Cynthia.

Elizabeth looked down at her father's photographic likeness, shaking her head. "You're right." she said. "My dad looks great for his age. Keeps trim, always has." Her eyes flicked to Stefan in the picture. "Unlike _some_ people."

"In case I didn't get it." Cynthia remarked, shaking her head.

"Mr. Dawes can eat no fat, and Mr. Grey can eat no lean, I guess." Elizabeth, said, looking at the picture with a look of resigned fondness.

"Guess not."  
Elizabeth tapped another picture of Stefan, taken shortly after they had gotten married. "Now this is how _I_ remember Stefan. How he was when I first met him." She looked at the photograph, feeling her eyes well up slightly.

"Yep. He was still...pretty good-looking then." said Cynthia looking at the photo.

"He was sure to tell me he was, too." Elizabeth said.

"But he was just dispensing information, right?" Cynthia asked.

"Yes." said Elizabeth. "Very matter-of-fact. As always."


	7. Chapter 7

Elizabeth had several conversations with Cynthia, over the course of the next couple of weeks.

"So why this fascination with time travel?" Cynthia asked one afternoon.

"I don't know." Elizabeth said. "I just always have been, from the time I was a kid. When I was in elementary school, I would flip to a different page in my history book, and make up a story about that time period."  
"Very inventive."  
"When I was young, I was convinced that I had a mission. From God, you see."  
"Like the Blues Brothers." said Cynthia. "Well, we're in the right city." There was a silence.

"Sorry." Cynthia said.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "Uh huh. Well. I was ten, you know."  
"What did you think uh...God wanted you to do?"

"I had an imaginary friend." Elizabeth said. "He told me that when the time was right, I would save him. He was dead, you see, and wandered the earth in a rabbit suit."  
"I'm sorry, did you say a rabbit suit?" said Cynthia.

"Frank, my neighbor...he was a guy I had a crush on. He wore this...psycho rabbit suit one year for Halloween. It had the body of a rabbit, but the face of a skeleton. Even at nine years old, I thought it was cool. I was a horror-lover, even then."  
"Or a twisted fuck."  
"I beg your pardon." Elizabeth shook her head. "Anyway, whenever I would 'talk' with Frank, he would always be wearing the rabbit suit. Until I asked him to show me what he looked like."  
"And he was dead?"  
"Yeah."  
"What made him...what made you come up with the idea that your 'friend' should be dead?"  
"I don't know." said Elizabeth. "More...interesting that way, I guess."  
"And this imaginary friend told you he was a dead man that God wanted you to save for some reason?"  
"Yeah, he did." Elizabeth said. "What's wrong with that?"  
"Nothing _wrong _with it." said Cynthia. "Kind of an odd game for a nine year old, though. When Maya was nine, she just played pop star Barbie."  
"Goody for her." Elizabeth said.

"Yeah, not...'Mission from God'." Cynthia said.

"Something tells me..." Elizabeth said. "That you didn't teach her any kind of religion growing up."  
"It's up to her, Elizabeth." said Cynthia. "She can believe what she wants."  
"Not to be like your mom, and all." said Elizabeth. "Margaret White."  
"Maria Bishop. Great name, for someone like her." said Cynthia. "Lucky she married my dad. Before that, it was Gallo."  
"Is that Spanish?"  
"Italian." said Cynthia. "Nothing like a domineering Italian Catholic woman to turn you off religion forever."  
"I think," said Elizabeth. "That you're way too hung up on your mother, Cynthia. Just because she was a fanatic, that doesn't mean there couldn't be a higher power out there. It gives me comfort to think about it, myself." She sighed. "Of course, Stefan certainly doesn't think too much about 'religious' people, either."  
"As skeptical as I am, thank _God, _I don't have to hear his sociopolitical rantings." said Cynthia. "I'm going to stop you before you try to share any of his 'wisdom' with me."  
Elizabeth laughed. "Not...'rantings', Cynthia." she said. "Just...introspections."  
"Every fucking moment was a speech with that man." Cynthia said irritably.

"He's...very philosophical, Cynthia."

"Yeah, well." Cynthia said. "Anyway. What happened to your friend? I mean, the real guy, not the...rabbit."  
"He moved away." Elizabeth said. "Went to college in Ohio."  
"Shame." Cynthia said.

"I was sad." Elizabeth said. "I guess...until I met Toby the next year."

"So this Toby." said Cynthia. "You mean to tell me, you actually waited to have sex, until you got to college, just so you could save yourself for him?"  
"Not just sex." said Elizabeth. "Kissing, too. Hand-holding, even."  
"Was this something he asked of you?" said Cynthia.

"Toby?" Elizabeth said. "Hardly."

"Why would you do that?" Cynthia said.

"I...couldn't think of anybody but him, for a long time." said Elizabeth. "I became...pretty obsessed with him."

"And now, guess who you're obsessed with to replace him." said Cynthia.

"No." Elizabeth said. "That's completely untrue. I care for Stefan, is all."  
"Maybe you do." said Cynthia. "I don't doubt that you care for him. But if you're not obsessed with Stefan, then nobody was ever obsessed with anybody in the history of the world."

"Bullshit." said Elizabeth angrily.

"No, really." said Cynthia. "And that's not the only obsession of yours. You're also obsessed with Stephen K-"  
"I most certainly am not!" Elizabeth said angrily.

"You're the only one I've ever met who has an obscure Stephen King book quote for almost every occasion." said Cynthia. She sighed. "Look, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Necessarily. As long as you know the difference between fantasy and reality."

"Of course I do." said Elizabeth.

"Saving yourself for one guy, at the expense of all others, for years." said Cynthia. "Sounds like a Stephen King character. What was her name again?"

"I am not like her." said Elizabeth indignantly.

" 'Her'?" Cynthia said. "She's not a real person, you know."

"Of course I know that." said Elizabeth. "If I was like any _Stand_ character, I would be like Fran Goldsmith. Pregnant. Afraid. Uncertain of her place in the world."

"A bit over dramatic as always, aren't we?"

"I don't think so." said Elizabeth. "But I would be on the side of good, and right. Not the chosen wife of the dark man. The hardcase. The Walkin' Dude."  
"Here we go." said Cynthia.

"Not to be confused with the Walken dude, as in Christopher, who was in the original _Dead Zone _adaptation."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"He was a really good-looking guy back then." Elizabeth mused. "You know, at times, his weird inflections remind me a lot of the way Stefan talks, I've always thought."  
"Got that right." said Cynthia. "But seriously. If we're going to discuss any of your obsessions, I'd prefer we discuss Stephen King. At least it's something I have a slight regard for, rather than the...'S' word."

"Fair enough." said Elizabeth.

"Stefan." said Elizabeth one evening. "Do you think I'm obsessed with you?"  
"No." said Stefan. "Whatever gave you that idea, Elizabeth?"  
Elizabeth shook her head. "I don't know." she looked at her lap. "I guess...I was obsessed with Frank, first, and then with Toby, as an adult...I just wonder...am I an obsessive person?"

"Maybe." said Stefan.

"Well, thanks a lot." said Elizabeth angrily.

"We all have tendencies we have to overcome, Elizabeth." said Stefan quietly. She blinked back tears, staring into space dejectedly. Stefan squeezed her arm.

Elizabeth looked at him, shaking her head. "So you do think I'm an obsessive person, and crazy. I guess that's why you see the need to check up on my Internet history."  
"Not crazy, Lizzie." Stefan said. "I worry about you, is all. What if you were having some trouble, that you were afraid to tell me about?"  
"Like what?" said Elizabeth.

"I have no idea, Lizzie." said Stefan. "But I'd want to catch it in time, if I could."  
"I guess you think I'm a child." said Elizabeth. "Like Dora in _David Copperfield_. Your child-wife."  
Stefan snorted incredulously, narrowing his eyes at her. "Oh, good." he said. "I would have thought you were incapable of reading anything other than Stephen King. But you've proven me wrong." Actually, Cynthia had said that very thing to her, regarding the Dickens character, at a coffee shop the other day, which had royally angered her at the moment, but now it was making more and more sense to her.  
Elizabeth glared at him. "I guess maybe that's what's gotten you so worked up." she said. "Worried I'm spending too much time in Stephen King-related fantasy worlds?"  
"Now that you mention it, yes." Stefan said.

"Or maybe you're just worried that I'm going to Jack Torrance all up in this bitch?" Elizabeth said glaring at him. "Kill us all with an ax? Redrum, redrum?"

"You know, using phrases like that doesn't make you any more becoming, or clever." said Stefan. "You're not a twenty-year old anymore."  
"_You're _not a _forty_-year old anymore, Stefan."  
"Perhaps not." said Stefan. "But-"

" 'Perhaps' indeed." Elizabeth said, glaring. "Sorry we don't all sound like a pompous, silver spoon twat like yourself."

"Are you going to use words like that around our children?"  
"Every day, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "Every day, I'm going to tell them, 'your father is a pompous twat'."  
"Because I wouldn't let you spend all your time obsessing about horror novels?" Stefan said. "Or give my approval to ridiculous, uneducated sounding slang?"  
" 'Let' me?" said Elizabeth. "You're really something. Besides, I've heard some people over forty use phrases like 'man-whore'. Maybe you should lighten up, Stefan."  
"Well, the world is becoming an increasingly ignorant place, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "That's all I can say."  
Elizabeth sighed. "You really do think that you can just treat me like I'm some...underling, don't you?"  
"Underling?" Stefan said. "Not at all. I just don't want you to engage in harmful behaviors."  
"Please." said Elizabeth. "You just can't stand for me to like anything that doesn't have to do with you. In your mind, if you don't like it, it's not worth liking."  
"Not true." Stefan said. "I just want you to know I'm concerned about you. And..." He looked at the carpet, his eyes sad. "If you're 'obsessed' with any of these things, or people...well, did Frank check up on your internet history? Did Toby?"  
"No, Stefan, as a matter of fact, neither of them did." Elizabeth said. "Am I supposed to think treating me like a child is an enviable quality in a partner now?"  
"Yes." said Stefan. "Not treating you like a child. Caring about your well-being."  
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said. "Well, what if I went around checking on what it means to be a night-terror having, clown-fearing, self-loathing...wackadoodle?" She looked at him. "Would that be 'caring about your well-being'?"  
"Oh, isn't that what you've been doing, of late, Elizabeth?" Stefan said. "Checking psychology websites for symptoms? Telling me I might have a form of autism?"  
"Not autism, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "A mild form of Asperger's, maybe."

"Sounds like something you'd cure with an ointment." said Stefan.

"Uh huh." Elizabeth shook her head. "Well. Very classy, Stefan."  
"Classy, yourself, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "It's always classy to tell your spouse that they have something mentally wrong with them." He looked at her, shaking his head. "Sometimes it's as though I don't know who you are anymore."  
"I wouldn't be so dramatic, Stefan." Elizabeth said.

"I don't know what would put such an idea in your head." Stefan looked at her, and a whole wall of her anger and spite at his bossiness was dissolved by the hurt look he was giving her. She swallowed.

"Nobody, I...nothing." She bit her lip, her heart pounding suddenly. She looked at him. "A...gap-toothed Italian lady told me. That you...might be."  
"Really." Stefan said. His mouth twitched slightly. "Sort of like...the Native American in a rabbit suit?"  
Elizabeth glowered at him, her lips pressed together. Stefan patted her hand.

"You know, you're quite cute when you're angry, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"I must look cute to you a lot then, Stefan." said Elizabeth.

"You do."  
"Uh huh."  
"You're certainly to be commended, though," said Stefan. "On your...ethnically diverse choosing of imaginary friends."  
"Please, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "Spare me the political nonsense, or I'm voting Republican next year."  
"Well, if you use the rights your founding fathers fought for just to spite someone else, then you won't be much different from a lot of idiots voting today."

"Well." Elizabeth said. "Be that as it may, it just so happens that a gap-toothed Italian woman did...tell me that she thinks that you boss me around _way_ too much." She cleared her throat. "It was Madonna. She...appeared to me in a dream. Told me that I shouldn't think it's...like a prayer when you call my name. I shouldn't be so worshipful of you, you see."  
"Did she, indeed?" Stefan said.

"I said ' "Madonna, how dare you tell me about how to run my marriage, when you're such a colossal slut." Elizabeth looked at him, gaging whether he would understand the metaphor, though he appeared not to. "Not literally colossal. She's...quite a small woman, you know. Madonna."  
"Very interesting, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "I wouldn't listen to her, however. She hasn't had a hit in years."  
"Uh huh." said Elizabeth. "Well, this was eighties Madonna."  
"Even so."  
"She had really heavy eyebrows." Elizabeth said, looking at him. "In the eighties."  
"Madonna?"  
"Uh huh."  
"I guess so."  
"In the...early nineties, too." Elizabeth said, looking at him. "Didn't she?"  
"As I recall."  
"You...like those...women with thick eyebrows, Stefan?" Elizabeth said, lolling her tongue.

"No, I'd prefer they...wax, Elizabeth." Stefan said. He looked at her. "Why?"

"Oh...just curious." said Elizabeth. She swallowed. "She said in this dream...I might be a little bit too obsessed with you. She said...I'm an obsessive person. I was obsessed with Toby, and Frank, and now you. But you're different from them. She said I looked into your eyes and my world came tumbling down." She traced her bulging abdomen. "She said...I'm Nadine Cross, and it wasn't Toby I was saving myself for all these years. It was you."  
" 'Madonna' appears to have a Stephen King obsession, oddly enough." Stefan said.

"She said...she said you're a man of wealth and taste, the devil in disguise. And Toby was only my Harold Lauder." She traced his hand. "I was waiting for a dark, dark man. A man of great sexual...power, enough to turn the moon blood red."  
"Got that right." said Stefan. He looked at her. "I do feel worried about such words from you, though, Lizzie. You seem a bit...agitated."  
"I told eighties Madonna in the dream." Elizabeth said, looking at him, her eyes flooding with tears. "That you impregnated me, and...you're worried I'll bring your empire to a crash, by...getting so depressed that I'd...climb onto the balcony, and jump."

Stefan grabbed her hand suddenly. "That would...bring my 'empire' to a crash, Lizzie." he said. Elizabeth was quieted for a moment.

"Yes, yes, I know, Stefan." said Elizabeth quietly. "I know."

"Trying to manipulate me, aren't you?" said Stefan.

"No..." She cleared her throat, lost in thought for a moment.

"I wouldn't even joke about such things, Lizzie."

She placed her hand on top of his suddenly. "I had another dream, too," she said. "That there was this blue-eyed Jewish girl, with long dark hair, who lived out in the desert."

"Very interesting." Stefan said. "And what happened to her?"  
"Well, her father was the leader of the tribe." Elizabeth said. "But all the same, she was very lonely. Shy. No one would talk to her, despite her demonstrable intelligence, thinking her odd."

"Ah." said Stefan. "Or perhaps it was she who wouldn't talk to anyone, fearing rejection."

"And then, one day," said Elizabeth. "She met this...odd stranger. With hair the color of the sun."  
"Did she now?"

"Of course she did." said Elizabeth. "And the color of the sand. She and her tribe had never seen such hair before, and it mystified them. Surely he must be a god, they all said, and they all worshiped him as such."

"Not a bad dream at all, Lizzie."  
"All except," said Elizabeth. "For the desert princess. She saw right through his facade."  
"Nothing escaped her, did it?" said Stefan.

"No." said Elizabeth. "But very irksome to her, was the fact that her father, the leader of the tribe was the most convinced of all of his greatness. In fact, he thought this golden-haired stranger was so terrific, that he sold her off to be married to him. Without her permission, naturally."  
"Good thing for him traditions were different out in the desert, then." said Stefan smiling at her.

"But not such a good thing for her." said Elizabeth.

"Oh, I think it was." said Stefan, caressing her hand.

"She tried to tell her father, to no avail, that he wasn't a god." Elizabeth said. "But he just wouldn't listen to her. Until she finally was worn down, and caved into her father's wishes, to be betrothed to this stranger."

"Doing nothing that wasn't truly of her own free will, naturally."

"But," Elizabeth said softly. "In the end, it was okay, because this odd, wandering stranger turned out to be a...displaced prince, of sorts. Who had doomed himself to...wander for years in a...purgatory of his own making. And she saw this about him."

"I see." said Stefan quietly. He looked at her, his eyes soft.

"And she saw, that he truly cared for her. And truly, his hubris wasn't such that he thought of himself as a god. A highly, evolved, super-intelligent life form perhaps. But not a god."

"Of course." said Stefan. "He was very humble."  
"He was not one, of course." said Elizabeth. "He was quite socially awkward, in fact. Kind of a dweeb, I'd say. I mean, the desert princess would say."

"Well, thanks for that." said Stefan. "Still super-intelligent, though."

"Yes, of course." said Elizabeth. "But still. A major dweeb."  
"As you've noted."  
"But even though he was all this, and a lot of other things...well. He was in fact, perfect for the desert princess, as she had been out in the desert all her life, and knew nothing else. So he seemed truly exotic to her."

"How romantic."  
"She was more than aware of his flaws, of course." Elizabeth added.

"And noted them every chance she got." said Stefan.

"No, of course the golden-haired stranger was a really wonderful guy. Truly a noble fellow." Elizabeth looked down at her lap. "He...helped the desert princess to stop chasing mirages. As she was wont to do."

"He certainly did." Stefan said emphatically, patting her hand.

"Chasing mirages will get you nowhere." said Elizabeth. "Mirages can't love you back."

"They certainly can't, Lizzie." said Stefan. "Unlike the...light-haired stranger. Best to stick with him."

"Yes, of course. And she did. Stick with him." said Elizabeth. "And they were both the better for it."  
"Most definitely the better for it, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"And they both lived happily ever, and the golden-haired stranger later expanded...I mean, helped her tribe expand as a nation." She looked at him.

"And it would have been a fairy tale, if not for the desert princess' insulting mouth." said Stefan.

"Guess those are the breaks, huh?"  
"Guess they are." Stefan said. "Interesting dream, you had, Lizzie."  
"It sure was."  
"Quite detailed." Stefan said. "All that was in there?"

"Well..." Elizabeth said, smiling. "I may have embellished one or two details."

"I think," Elizabeth said to Cynthia later on the phone. "That you're a bad influence on me."  
"How's that?"  
"Convincing me that Stefan's autistic." said Elizabeth. "And trying to convince me that he's some..controlling monster."  
"Schizoid, not autistic." said Cynthia. "And you really needed to be 'convinced' that he's some controlling monster? Which he is, by the way."  
"Of course he isn't." said Elizabeth. "A monster. Just an alien, or perhaps some artificial life form that has not quite learned the habits of the 'hu-mans'."  
"Indeed." said Cynthia.

"Yesterday, he was telling me how he heard some conspiracy guy on the radio say that Bush comes from a long line of lizard men." said Elizabeth. "He thought it was quite likely. But I think that _Stefan_ is really a lizard man."  
"Yeah, like Gorn." said Cynthia. "From _Star Trek_."  
"Don't tell me you're a Trekkie."  
"Nothing like that, no." Said Cynthia. "The old series was silly, but man, that William Shatner. Such a fox."  
"I suppose so." said Elizabeth.

"Stefan informed me, very matter-of-factly, whenever I watched it that William Shatner 'is just not as good-looking as I am'."  
"Only Troy Donahue and Tony Curtis are." said Elizabeth.

"Oh, lord. Spare me." Cynthia said. "I hate _A Summer Place_ so much I could burn every copy. Now. I might add, I was indifferent to it before."  
"No joke. You hate something because of Stefan?" Elizabeth shook her head. "Model of Nordic beauty. Troy Donahue. And Stefan. Of course."  
"As were many Nazis."  
"Tony Curtis, not so much, though." Elizabeth said. "Nordic. Good ol' Bernie Schwartz."  
"Yep. They all changed their names back in those days, the old movie stars." Cynthia said.

"As Stefan makes sure to tell me. Because, you know. He's one of those lawyers who keeps a suit with elbow patches. Bleeding heart, our boy."  
"_Your_ boy." Cynthia said.

"He loves that movie. _Some Like It Hot_." Elizabeth said. "As I'm sure you remember."  
"But don't want to." said Cynthia.

"I think it's beautiful. A beautiful love story. I feel we're like that. I love him like Sugar Kane loved Joe. And Josephine."  
"Please." said Cynthia. She paused. "He doesn't dress up in drag, does he?"

"Well..."  
"Oh, god, don't tell me." Cynthia said.

"Well...it was just for Halloween." Elizabeth insisted. "He said he wanted to see what it felt like. To understand what it was like to be a woman."  
"Isn't that just like that ass, he has to turn everything into some serious social experiment." Cynthia said. "Can't even wear a Halloween costume without some self-righteous crap."  
"Yeah, well." Elizabeth sighed. "I might add, that he made a far better woman than Tony Curtis ever did. He was always a real pretty boy type, Stefan."  
"Uh huh." Cynthia said.

"I dressed up, as well, you know." Elizabeth said. "We wore matching costumes. It was a beautiful bonding experience."  
"I'd rather not hear about what kind of bonding occurred, thank you very much." said Cynthia. "Weirdos, the both of you."  
"Indeed." said Elizabeth. "Of course...awkward moments abounded, too."  
"Yeah? Like what exactly?"  
"Well, I had to tell the sales clerk when I was shopping for the dress, that I was buying it for my friend, and 'she' was about five ten, and was...um...a little overweight, and ask what sizes they recommended. Stefan was not present for that, naturally."  
"Well, I'm sure you _would_ have to ask that question." said Cynthia.

"And then, I sort of had to work around the fact that Stefan needed to wear a...girdle-" Cynthia snorted. "I had to tell him it was a 'foundation garment'. He was unconvinced, and thought I was trying to make snide remarks about his weight."  
"Which of course you were."  
"No, I'd...not then." said Elizabeth. She bit her lip. "For the longest time, I...I couldn't bear to bring it up. That he'd gained weight. I was deathly afraid of hurting his feelings. And it would."  
"Hard to ignore the...elephant in the room, then?" Cynthia asked. "To choose a metaphor."  
"In the 'rum'. The elephant in the 'rum'." Elizabeth said. "Because that's how he always pronounces 'room', of course."  
"He's so lucky, you know." said Cynthia. "To have an unfailingly loyal wife like you. Such a sensitive and tactful soul."  
"Aren't I just?" said Elizabeth. "Anyway, it's just like Pringles. It just came out all in a rush, one day, and now I can't stop. Making fat cracks."  
"Much like Stefan can't stop eating Pringles."  
"Oh, no, are you kidding?" Elizabeth said. "Stefan has much better taste in food than that."  
"And quite a taste it is, I'm sure."  
"Well, that he does have." said Elizabeth. "A taste for many things. He's a great lover of life, you know."

Cynthia sighed. "Wonderful. Now if you please, can we not talk about Stefan for...twenty minutes. That's all I ask. I don't ask much."

A few days later, Elizabeth had been out with Cynthia, and had been feeling very guilty about their talks all week, hating having secrets from Stefan. She was sitting on the couch, reflecting on the situation, when Stefan came in.

"Stefan." she said. She bit her lip. "I...can I talk with you?"  
"Of course." said Stefan. He walked over, and sat on the couch next to her.

"I..." She bit her lip. "I...you see...I..."  
"You can tell me." said Stefan. "What is it, Lizzie?"  
"I...I've been lonely." Elizabeth said. "Especially since...I've been...pregnant."  
"Lonely?" Stefan said. "Lonely? But Elizabeth, I'm right here. I'm...here every night."  
"Well, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "I...I'd maybe like to have...a female friend."  
"Oh." Stefan's shoulders sagged with relief. "For a minute, I thought you were saying...there's someone you've..."  
"No, Stefan." Elizabeth put her hand on his shoulder. "I would never want anyone else. I'd never see someone else."  
"I know, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"But I...I'd like to hear a female perspective on things, Stefan." said Elizabeth.

"Female perspective?" Stefan said. "Is that really necessary?"  
"_I _think so." Elizabeth said. "I'd like to have someone to talk to."  
"Someone besides me?" Stefan looked a little hurt. "Why?"  
"Stefan, don't be that way." said Elizabeth. "Of course, I love talking to you. But it makes sense that I should want to have a few female friends I see occasionally."  
"Why?" Stefan asked, sounding a little belligerent now. "_I _don't go running after friends. I don't want friends. You're enough for me."  
Elizabeth sighed. "Well, I'm different than you are." she said. "Okay?"  
"Different as in not caring for me the way I care for you?"  
"Stefan, that's not true!" said Elizabeth. The task of telling him about her talks with Cynthia was seeming more and more impossible now. "It would just be nice if I had someone to talk to about things."  
"Things like what?" said Stefan. "What can you talk about with with someone else that you can't talk about with me?"  
"I...I don't know, Stefan. Girl talk."  
"Girl talk." Stefan said. "That's ludicrous."  
"Well, it isn't either." said Elizabeth. "And I-"  
"Besides," Stefan said, placing his hand on her knee. "I thought we were Lennon sisters."  
Elizabeth started to laugh. "Well, we are Lennon sisters. But-"  
"Well, there you go." said Stefan. "You can engage in 'girl talk' as it were, with me."  
Elizabeth began to laugh, and shake her head. "I don't think so, Stefan."  
"Why not?" Stefan squeezed her knee. "I'd love for us to have, uh...girl talk."  
"Would you get your hand off my leg?" Elizabeth said. "I don't want to be sexy with my fellow Lennon sister, that's gross. Incest."  
Stefan laughed. "Well. I'm not _that_ much of a Lennon sister." he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Indeed you're not, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "But that's exactly what I-"  
"I had the most beautiful dream, Lizzie." Stefan interrupted her. "That you were sorting my shells, and mixing my cocktails, and when I woke up, I wanted to swim right back to you." Stefan put his arm around her, and gazed tenderly at her. Elizabeth sighed resignedly, feeling herself start to go wobbly as she usually did in these moments.

She sighed. "Why do you damaged blondes always go for us Semitic types?" she said.

"Damaged?" said Stefan.

"Maybe just a little bit damaged." She sighed. "I want to. Sort your shells and all like that there." she said. "Every day. I just want to have someone I can associate with sometime."  
"You be the crew." Stefan said, stroking her abdomen tenderly, which caused Elizabeth to feel even more of her resolve slipping away. "And I'll be the captain."  
"Of course you'll be." Elizabeth said, shaking her head.

"And that's all we need." Stefan said. "Just the four of us."

"Stefan, don't you think-"  
"They'll be girls, wont they?" Stefan said. "The twins?"  
"Well...yeah, but..."  
"Well, there you go." said Stefan. "Female companionship."  
"Stefan, that's ridiculous." said Elizabeth. "They'll be babies."  
"They'll grow older, Elizabeth."

"So you want me to wait until they're old enough to talk for female companionship?"

"Of course. Being a mother will be a joy. Or at least you certainly should view it that way." Stefan said. "Assuming you'll be wanting to be close to your daughters and not some person outside the family."  
"But Stefan." Elizabeth said. "I didn't take a vow saying I could never have any friends. Of course I'll love our daughters. But they won't be mature in the mind for years to come. It might be nice to associate with someone my own age, or...well. Grown, let's say."

"I see. Well." Stefan said. "It seems none of us will be good enough for you, then."  
"Stefan, do you _have_ to be like this?" said Elizabeth. "Why don't you go out and associate with people?"  
"Oh, trying to get rid of me?"

"No." said Elizabeth. "I just want you to have some people you have a connection with. Besides me."  
"I don't want that." said Stefan. He looked at her, a horrified expression on his face. "Why would you think I'd want that?"  
Elizabeth sighed. She put her hand on his. "Stefan. What about...what about Blane?" she said. "You could get together and talk with him sometime. Wouldn't that b-"  
"Blane?" Stefan said. "Blane? I haven't seen him in years, Elizabeth. He stopped talking to me. You know that."  
"So maybe you should give him a call." said Elizabeth, though she had her doubts, thinking of Blane's attitude towards him when she called. "Maybe you two ought to get over all that."  
"What on earth are you talking about, Elizabeth?" Stefan said. "I wouldn't speak to him now, if he begged me to. Why? You're not attracted to him, are you?"  
"From what? His high school yearbook photo?" Elizabeth said. "He looked like a pencil-necked geek to me."  
"Yes, well. Some women like that." said Stefan. "Keep in mind, he's a _rich_ pencil-necked geek. Besides, maybe you'd prefer pencils to...chalk."  
"The...thicker implements you mean?" said Elizabeth.

"Mmmm."  
"I prefer the thicker...writing implements, Stefan." said Elizabeth. She put her hand on his thigh and squeezed, tracing lightly. "You know that."  
"I prefer to think that you're speaking of...uh...other kinds of implements, when you talk about 'thick', Lizzie. Nonetheless-"  
"I'm speaking of a lot of things, Stefan." said Elizabeth, looking coyly at him. "A..._lot_."

"Of course you are." said Stefan. He removed her hand from his leg.

"Hey!"  
"Well. Turnabout is fair play, and you swat my hand away, whenever you feel like it. Usually undeservedly, I might add. I can't tell you what it does to my ego."  
"I think maybe your ego needs to be taken down a few notches, my friend."  
"I'm not egotistical, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"I beg to differ."  
"Well." said Stefan, his voice growing increasingly quiet. "The fact remains that you just said I'm not good enough companionship for you, and you'd prefer some...hypothetical person to me, to talk with, and just told me to go out, and seek other people to spend time with. Which hurts me quite a bit, because I have no desire to do that. But you do. So. I consider you my friend as well as my wife, in fact, I consider you my best-"  
"Well, you're mine, too!" Elizabeth interrupted, her eyes filling with the embarrassing tears that were becoming an everyday occurrence. "But damn it, I'd like to speak with another adult female. And I do. I have sort of...a friend. Okay?"  
"Real, or imaginary?"  
"Real, damn it!" Elizabeth said. "I haven't had an imaginary friend since I was in high school. Don't try to pretend I did."

"Have your way, then." said Stefan.

"I will." Elizabeth said angrily. "I will, and stop trying to pretend that I'm...I'm..." She took a deep breath.

"I don't think you're crazy." Stefan looked at her, his mouth turned down sourly. "Don't use this as an excuse to lash out like a venomous little viper. Please."  
Elizabeth took a deep breath. "Fine." she said. "I won't get angry. But I will stand firm. There's no reason I can't associate with people some time."  
"Fine." Stefan said, still looking very sour. "Where did you meet this...friend?"  
"Uh...at Starbucks." said Elizabeth. "We had several talks over the phone before we met face-to-face."  
"Another Stephen King groupie, perhaps?"  
"As it happens, she does like Stephen King, but she laughs at me almost as much as you do for liking it so much."  
"I don't 'laugh at' you." said Stefan, glancing at her sideways morosely. "I tease."  
"Call it what you will." said Elizabeth. "But...that's the way it is. I mean...we sort of have fun. Together."  
"With your...girl talk?"  
"Uh huh." said Elizabeth. "With our girl talk."  
"Giggling about your Uncle Stevie?"  
"Oh, shut up." said Elizabeth. "She doesn't 'giggle'. Not a giggling sort of girl. Woman. She's...in her forties."  
"Why on earth would you want to hang around with someone so much older than you, Elizabeth?" said Stefan.

"You talking about you, or her?"  
"Please." said Stefan.

"She needles me about that, too." said Elizabeth. "Being married to an older guy."  
"Told her I was older than you, did you?" said Stefan. "I hope you at least waited a conversation or two, before going on about how 'old' I am."  
"In any case." said Elizabeth. "She and I spend much of our time...exchanging sarcastic remarks with each other."  
"Really." Stefan's mouth twitched downward. "Don't get enough of that here?"  
"Well...I just...it's just for fun." said Elizabeth. "Really. Just something to do during the day. It's fun, an adventure." She stared at her hands. "Like time travel."  
"How so?"  
"I..." she looked at him. "I just wanted to talk with her. For a lark. Because I was curious."  
"About what?"  
"I..." She swallowed, looking at him. "Why...why she did it."  
"Why who did what?" Stefan said softly, his face contorted in a puzzled frown.

"Why she cheated on you." Elizabeth whispered.

"What...who, Elizabeth?"  
"You know who."  
"I could name a few." Stefan swallowed, looking at her, trepidation in his eyes.

"You know who." Elizabeth said. "She's an artist. With heavy eyebrows. Not as famous as Frida Kahlo, though. Italian, not Latina. Well, half."  
"Cynthia." Stefan said quietly. He looked at her gravely.

"That's right." Elizabeth said softly, looking at her lap nervously.

"I'm trying to comprehend...why in heaven's name you would be...did you say you've talked _several _times with her?"  
"Yes." Elizabeth said quietly.

"With _Cynthia_?" Elizabeth nodded. "Why?"  
"I already told you, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "I was curious as to why-"  
"Why? I'll tell you why. Because she's a base, disgusting tramp, that's why." Stefan said. "There's your answer."  
"Maybe it isn't always as simple as that, Stefan." Elizabeth said, but was given pause by the look of outrage on his face. "Okay. So she's a base, disgusting tramp. I agree. But she's...kind of an _interesting_ base, disgusting-"  
"No. No, she isn't." said Stefan. "What on earth would possess you to start communicating with _Cynthia_ of all people, Elizabeth?"  
Elizabeth shrugged. "I don't know. She...just seems like someone who...gets it."  
"Gets what?" said Stefan angrily.

"I don't know. Like she...understands where I'm coming from about some things. Even though you wouldn't think she would."

"About what? About me?"  
_Yes. _Elizabeth thought in her mind, but she shook her head. "Isn't everything in this life about you in some way, Stefan?"  
"Oh, I get it." said Stefan. "You want her to tell you what a bastard I am, and then you can feel justified in being a mean-spirited little psychopath, right? Gives you a real kick, spiting me, doesn't it?"  
"No, that's not it at all, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "I was only going to call her once. But...I...I...somehow..." She wrung her hands, her eyes filled with tears. "I...just..._liked_ talking with her. So I talked with her again. And then again. And a few more times. And then we met for coffee. And then-"  
"Much like she probably just banged John once. And then she just _liked_ doing it, so she did it again. And again."  
"No, Stefan." Elizabeth said pleadingly. "Not at all like that."

Stefan looked at her, and shook his head, looking at her in a very dejected, sour way. "Why would you betray me like this?"  
"Stefan, I didn't betray you." said Elizabeth. "I just...I wanted to tell you. That I was talking with her. I hate having secrets from you. It really...weighed on me, Stefan."  
"Just like it 'weighs' on you when we're in bed, right?" Stefan said, glowering at her, but she noticed his eyes were filling with tears. She opened her mouth in dismay. "And then you can say that, and have a good laugh at my expense, and be guilt-free, because Cynthia says it's okay. She says to you that I'm disagreeable, and unpleasant, and that makes it okay to mock me, because, 'damned if he isn't disagreeable and unpleasant to _me_. She's _so right_. He won't let me sound like an idiotic valley girl, and-'"

"Stefan!" Elizabeth said. "Aren't you being a little childish?"  
"And then you feel really good, after I mention, maybe you shouldn't use idiotic slang, or quote Stephen King only sparingly, or I might not find watching _The Green Mile_ three times in one month-"  
"Or I shouldn't cry during the execution scene, because real executions are what I should be crying about."  
"These 'offenses' make it okay in your mind, to cruelly mock my weight. And then you can have Cynthia tell you that I'm an ill-tempered creep. Right?"  
"No, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "And I don't mock your weight. I only like to mention it because it turns me on so-"  
" 'Mention it'?" Stefan said. "What about when you told me that I've 'turned into the pig I've always been', last month?"  
"That was because you loudly snapped at me in front of the obstetrician, for not remembering the doctors' phone number!"  
"Still and all." said Stefan. "Kind of overkill. Don't you think?"  
"Maybe. I did apologize, though."  
"Do you tell..._Cynthia_ how you abuse me?" said Stefan. "I'm an abused spouse, not you."  
"Yeah, right." said Elizabeth "Laughable."  
"Oh, I don't think so, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "In fact, I don't think it's laughable at all."  
"I'm sorry." said Elizabeth. "I guess you...regret marrying me. I'm a crazy bit-"  
"You _wish_ I thought you were crazy, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "You're just full of venom."  
"Uh huh." said Elizabeth.

"Don't worry though, I'll not allow myself to become afraid of you. I'll just snap all the more, until you get the point." said Stefan.

"Well." said Elizabeth. "Then I'll just point out your...porcine qualities all the more."  
"No, you won't, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"What makes you think I won't?"  
"Because I'd feel very hurt if you thought I looked like a pig." said Stefan. "And you wouldn't really want to hurt me like that, now would you?"  
" 'Do you really want to hurt me-'" Elizabeth began to sing.

"Lizzie."  
Elizabeth cleared her throat. "No. No, I don't."  
"Good." said Stefan. "Then I won't really snap at you if I can help it. It will only fill your...poison sacs all the more, anyway."  
"Oooh." said Elizabeth, licking her lips at him. "You bet it'll make my...poison sacs...all the more...saturated with venom. But I think you secretly crave it, Stefan. You want, no...long to be punished. Don't you?"  
"Maybe a little." said Stefan, giving her a somewhat amused look. "But hold off the pig comparisons, would you?"  
"I simply meant you were a 'male chauvinist pig', for thinking it's okay for you to talk to your wife like that in public."  
"I did not 'think it's okay'. I just lost my temper momentarily, is all. And that isn't what you meant at all, Lizzie." Stefan said. "Don't be a liar."  
"Whatever." said Elizabeth. "Maybe I didn't. But I'm sorry. Okay? Again."  
"All right, Lizzie." said Stefan. "I accept your apology."  
"Does this mean you're not angry, anymore?" said Elizabeth. "About...Cynthia?"  
"No, I'm not angry about you talking with Cynthia, Elizabeth." said Stefan.

"Well, good." Elizabeth. "Because we don't talk about you, anyway." When Cynthia had anything to say about, it anyway, she thought.

"Well, I certainly hope not." said Stefan. "That would be completely disloyal to me. However, I know you, and understand you're sometimes curious about these things. And...maybe you're bored."  
"Yes." said Elizabeth.

"Well." said Stefan. "In any case, I understand the way your mind works, and so, I know you weren't really talking to her out of disloyalty."

"I wasn't, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "I'm not disloyal to you. I love you very much."  
"As I love you, Lizzie." Stefan said, patting her hand. "And I understand, you won't be doing that again."  
"Doing what again?" Elizabeth said, frowning.

"Talking to Cynthia, of course." said Stefan. "It was a one-time, regrettable decision."  
"No-"  
"Well, of course you won't." Stefan said, giving her a look like she'd said something crazy. "Anymore talks with her would be a bad idea. Surely you can see that?"  
"No, I can't."  
"Well, why not?" Stefan said. "What in the world do you want to talk with her for, anyway? She's a complete...well, bitch would be an accurate term."  
"But she's a bitch I like." Elizabeth said.

"Sapphically?"  
"Don't make me throw up, Stefan." said Elizabeth.

"Well, she's not likable, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "She and I are utterly different. She's...not a good person. In the end, she only cares about herself."  
"I don't think that's-"  
"Well, I do." Stefan said sharply. "Very disloyal to me that you defend her, Elizabeth. I can scarcely believe you."  
"Stefan, I'd just like to talk with her on occasion." Elizabeth said. "You don't ever have to-"  
"No." Stefan said firmly, looking at her, all trace of humor gone from his face.

"Stefan, that's not fair." said Elizabeth. "You can't tell me what to do."  
Stefan cleared his throat, and looked at her. "Elizabeth." he said. He put his hands on both her shoulders, looking her squarely in the eye. Elizabeth moved her eyes to his hands on her shoulders warily. Stefan began caressing her shoulders.

"Stefan-"  
"You know, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "There comes a point...even when a person isn't...very religious-"  
"Religious?" Elizabeth said. "Stefan, what in the heck-"  
"Or...dogmatic, let's say." Stefan said.

"Stefan, you don't even believe in G-"  
"I do, too. "

"Christian God?" Judaeo-Christian?"

"Does it matter, Elizabeth?"  
"Some would say it does." Elizabeth said.  
"Safe to say, not the vengeful Catholic one. But that doesn't really have anything to do with what I'm talking about." said Stefan. "You see, I'm talking about...well. A person's natural instincts."  
"Aren't you always." Elizabeth muttered.

"Not those instincts, Lizzie." said Stefan. "The natural order of things. In...a relationship. Now, I have no concern with what others do in their relationships, but...well. In my experience, I find that there's...an undeniable order of things."  
"Really." said Elizabeth. "I presume I'm...going to hear what kind."  
"Well, Lizzie." said Stefan. "I know it's not terribly...PC, however...who do you think defers to whom in this relationship?"  
"Stefan..."  
"I mean it, Lizzie." said Stefan. "Who do you think looks to whom in this arrangement? If you're being one hundred percent honest."  
"That's...that's not fair, at all Stefan." said Elizabeth. "If you want me to be honest. It's not that simple."  
"No, it's not that simple." Stefan said softly. "That's what I mean about being dogmatic. There are many factors at play, here. Sometimes, I might defer to you. Usually, I let you have your way about most everything, in fact."  
"Stefan, this is really-"  
"There might be many times when I do what you say, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "Maybe I enjoy doing what you say at times. But...when it really comes down to it, who would you say has the true dominance in this relationship?"  
"I don't believe this." Elizabeth muttered, shaking her head. Stefan cupped his hand underneath her chin, and turned her head towards his.

"Lay it all out there, once and for all, why don't you?" Elizabeth said. "Admit you think you're the big boss man."  
"What's your true instinct, Elizabeth?" Stefan said. "Is it to look to me as a leader, or is it the other way around?"  
Elizabeth glowered at him. "This is ridiculous."  
"You're always saying I boss you around." said Stefan. "Maybe it's because deep down, you believe me to be a figure of much authority, Elizabeth."  
"I think that not so deep down, you believe yourself to be that, Stefan dear."  
"Doesn't matter what I believe." said Stefan. "And it doesn't matter what you believe. There's just undeniable...fact of life."  
"Stefan, I don't think it is." said Elizabeth. "And I don't appreciate you're going all steely Perry Mason throat cancer gravitas on me to try to say that you're the boss of me."

"I don't have 'throat cancer gravitas' for nothing, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "And I don't think I'm the 'boss of 'you. But what I'm trying to say, is that when it comes down to it, I'm the one who's the leader in this marriage. I'm not saying all marriages are, or should be that way, but I'm talking about us in particular." Elizabeth sighed, blowing out an angry breath. "Just admit it. If you dispense with all pretense...do you feel like I'm your leader, or not?"  
"I know you want to be, Stefan." said Elizabeth. She looked down at the floor, resignedly.

"Do you?" said Stefan. "No lying."

Elizabeth sighed. "Maybe. Okay?" she said. "I...look up to you. In...some way."  
"Of course you do." Stefan said. He put his hand on hers. "And I'm...I'm touched that you admitted it."  
"Uh huh." said Elizabeth.

"I am." said Stefan. "When it comes down to it, I'm the one most in charge around here. You do what I say. And not because I force you to. Because you _want_ to. In the most fundamental part of your mind, you want to."  
Elizabeth looked at him wearily. "Okay, Stefan." She shook her head.

"Not because you're my...child-wife, or any such thing." Stefan said. "Don't you know that?"  
"All right, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "If anyone has...gravitas, and...weight around here, it would be you, okay? I'm just a woman. Too emotional, and so forth, and-"  
"And despite your constant sarcastic remarks, I know you better than anyone, and I know, in your heart of hearts, your deepest desire is to submit to me. And not just in the bedroom, either."  
"Hoo boy."  
"Or, to quote our always...articulate Commander-in-Chief, well, I'm the decider." said Stefan, biting his lip, looking at her. "I make the decisions around here."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Why do you always have to take things to that place?" she muttered, feeling extreme annoyance. As usual.

"It's very true, Lizzie." Stefan said. "And I think that the burden will be taken off of you, a great deal, in fact, if you let me make the decision on this issue. And my decision is, that you will not have any more talks with Cynthia."

"Bullshit, Stefan." Elizabeth said angrily.

"It's not bullshit, Elizabeth." Stefan said calmly. "And the sooner you realize it, the better."  
"No." Elizabeth said, looking at him squarely in the eye. "You may...have a lot of influence over me, Stefan, and I may accept that you have some domineering habits, and go along with it. But you do not get to just say something, and expect me to go along with it like that." She snapped her fingers. "Not if I don't agree."  
Stefan was silent for a moment. "Well." he said, finally. "Your decision is to continue to see socially a woman who betrayed me."  
"Because...there's...more to..." Elizabeth shook her head. "She listens."  
"Uh huh." Stefan gave a short bark of humorless laughter and looked at her, his mouth turned down. "_I _listen. To you."  
"So what, Stefan." And not well, a lot of the time, but she didn't fault him too much, because of the good qualities that he had that outweighed it. "Didn't you hear what I said, about wanting to hear a female perspective?"  
"Listens about what?" said Stefan. "About what a terrible person I am? Is that it?"  
"Everything is not about _you_, Stefan!" Elizabeth said exasperatedly. "Much as you want it to be."  
"What does she listen about?"  
"Things. We talk about our childhoods. She had a fanatically religious mother. She-"  
"Is that what caused her extreme lack of morals?" Stefan said "Getting back at mommy?"  
"Maybe."  
"Yeah, sure." Stefan scoffed. "Childhood? You can talk with _me_ about your childhood, Elizabeth."  
"And I do."  
"But you'd rather talk with _her_?" Stefan said. "I see. I'm not enough for you, am I? I just don't have the _listening skills_. Well."  
Elizabeth sighed. "Stefan. You're being very unreasonable." she said. "I...she's a mother. We talk about what it's like to...raise children. Her daughter is growing up, and-"  
"I could care less about her stupid daughter." Stefan muttered. "She got pregnant sometime. Probably from having unprotected sex. So what? Does that make her any more noble in my eyes, just because she gave birth once? No."  
"Well, that's just great, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "Really. But that doesn't mean that I'm betraying you, or anything. I didn't expect that she'd be someone that I'd enjoy talking to. But I do. And..." She sighed. "I...I don't want to go against your wishes. I don't want to hurt you." she said. "But at the same time, I wish you would understand...that I enjoy...having a connection...with someone. Besides you. Not a romantic connection, Stefan. There are others besides that, you know."  
"You have a connection." said Stefan. "With a woman that betrayed me."  
"That was years ago, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "Why? Are you still pining for her?"  
"Not at all, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "But still. I don't care if it was years ago. You shouldn't have any positive feelings for someone who hurt me like she did. Out of loyalty to me. I don't care if she spends all her time at soup kitchens. You should not be friendly with her."  
"Stefan, that's a little ridiculous."  
"I don't think it is." Stefan said.

"Well, what if talking to her was truly something good for me, and made me happy?" said Elizabeth. "Would you 'forbid' me to do it then?"  
Stefan sighed. "I don't know, Elizabeth." he said, frowning at her. "Don't I make you happy? Don't you enjoy talking to me?"  
"But Stefan." Elizabeth said. "More than one thing...can make me happy. Would you truly want me to be lonely during the day, with no one to talk to?"  
"Just...not that person, Elizabeth." Stefan said.

"Stefan, a few minutes ago, you were telling me how the only 'female friends' I needed were our unborn daughters. You would be upset about me having outside associates, no matter who it was."  
"Even if I was, I became _more_ upset when I found out who it was, Elizabeth."

"Would you really tell me I couldn't ever talk to her, if you truly thought that made me happy, Stefan?" said Elizabeth. "Because...I _won't_ talk to her. If you really say you're against it." She looked at him."You're...right about that. But consider if that would make _me_ unhappy, for you to outright 'forbid' something, no matter what it was."  
"I don't know, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "I just don't know."  
"The day before we got married," Elizabeth said. "you said that...you would go away...if I really didn't want you in my life. If being around you truly made me unhappy, that you...wouldn't want that for me."  
"That was after you went to that wedding without me." Stefan said. "And I wasn't convinced that you really liked a guy like me, if I embarrassed you so much. I might add that after we said those wedding vows, it was too late, Lizzie, and I don't need to be Catholic to tell you that our agreement is unbreakable. And you told me no, I make you...just the opposite of unhappy. I believed you. Are you actually try to tell me that you'd like me to go away now?"

"Of _course_ not, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "I can't imagine being without you." She glanced at him. "But...would you have? If I'd said yes, and you thought I meant it."  
"I would have." said Stefan. "Do you think I'd really say something like that, and not mean it?"  
"I don't, no." Elizabeth said. "You'd stay away from me forever, if you thought that you weren't good for me."  
"Oh, but I am good for you, Elizabeth." said Stefan.

"I know, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "But still. You see my point."  
Stefan looked at her, frowning. "I guess." he said.

Elizabeth took his hand and massaged it gently with her own. "You wouldn't want to 'order' me to do something against my will, would you?"  
"No." said Stefan. "I wouldn't. I'm not a...tyrant."  
"Not truly."  
"Uh huh." said Stefan. "Well. I guess you should...talk to...uh...Cynthia, on occasion. If you really want to. As long as you're being honest with me about it."

"Just sometimes." Elizabeth said.

"But that doesn't mean I'm happy about it." Stefan added. "I'm very uncomfortable with idea of you...talking to Cynthia. Mostly for your sake. I don't think she's trustworthy. Not at all."

"I didn't say I'd trust her with my life or anything." Elizabeth said. "But nor do I think she's the heartless witch you made her out to be. Besides, just think. If you had stayed with her, you'd never have met me. She could never have made you happy, Stefan. Gallo. It means chicken, in a sense. Truly, I think you scared her, because she's...she was cowardly. Couldn't stand up to you."  
"I suppose she couldn't." said Stefan. "She didn't...get me like you do. Even the best women I've dated...didn't."  
"See?" Elizabeth said. She squeezed his hand.

"I guess so." Stefan was very quiet. And Elizabeth knew, in her heart, that he was still, and probably would a long time be hurt, and discomfited by the idea of Elizabeth associating with others besides himself, certainly Cynthia.

Most especially Cynthia.

Stefan blinked, and looked over at her. "Lizzie." he said.

"Yes, Stefan?"

"I...greatly dislike all this talk about me 'going away' from you." he said. "I want you to know...I'll never go away. Especially not now." He placed his hand on her stomach. Elizabeth put her hand over his, squeezing gently.

"Of course not. What would we do without you?" said Elizabeth softly. "We're going to be a family."  
"Of course we are. And that's a beautiful thing." said Stefan. "But Elizabeth?"  
"Yes?"  
"We already were." said Stefan. "You've always been my family."  
"Yes." Elizabeth whispered softly, putting her arms around him. Stefan leaned his head against her shoulder, and Elizabeth looked at him, swallowing, stroking his arms softly, and they stayed that way for quite some time.

"So." Elizabeth said to Cynthia at the coffee bar the next day. "I told him."  
"You what now?" said Cynthia.

"I told Stefan." Elizabeth replied. "That I've been talking to you."  
"Oh, shit." Cynthia said. She shook her head. "Why?"

"Because...I hate deceiving him, that's why." said Elizabeth.

"How did he take it?" Cynthia said, looking at her grimly.

"Marginally well." said Elizabeth. "Considering." She looked down at the floor sadly.

"Considering what? That he's a complete whack job?"  
"Something like that. Yes." Elizabeth began to laugh shakily, but the guilt overtook her, when she thought of how Stefan, the self-proclaimed 'Decider' had made it clear by just the way he looked at her, and acted the previous night, that it wouldn't be far off to think that every bit of his 'menace' was for nothing, should _she_ make any wrong decision, in what she did or said.

"Well." Cynthia said. "I wish you hadn't. Told him, is all I can say." She shook her head.

"I had to, Cynthia."

"I need a cigarette." Cynthia looked at her purse.

"Oh, come on." said Elizabeth.

Cynthia sighed. "He's not going to come to my house, and start barking...scratch that...monotoning...monotinizing? At me, to stop talking to you, is he?"  
"No, Cynthia." Elizabeth said. "I doubt he wants to see you all that much."  
"Well, good." said Cynthia. "Because in the..._frightening_ event that he ever did, I'd have to tell him that it was all your idea. I tried to get you to leave me alone, but you were hell-bent."  
"That's not exactly how I remember it." said Elizabeth. "But in any case, I already told him that, pretty much."  
"Damn. Too bad." said Cynthia. "I liked the thought of him not knowing...well, anything you can think of."  
"Yeah, you would."  
"Oh, give it a rest." She sighed. "I guess I understand your telling him. But admit it. You liked it. Having a secret from him. He likes to make you think he can see all, and knows all."  
"Sure, I liked it." said Elizabeth. "For awhile, I felt like...Thelma and Louise."  
"In that you're a giantess?"  
"Excuse me?"  
"Aren't you about six feet tall?" said Cynthia. "Like Geena Davis?"  
"No, I'm a very moderate five nine, thank you very much." Elizabeth shook her head."You've got some nerve."  
"Just an observation." Cynthia shrugged.

"I guess we all look like 'giantesses' to midgets."  
"Oh, very mature." Cynthia said. "Can't take a joke, I see."  
"Or as Stefan tells me, I should say, 'Little person'." said Elizabeth, looking at her. "I guess we all look like giants to little persons."  
"You know, I didn't think that it was possible to be irritated on such a wide variety of levels, but somehow, you've managed it." said Cynthia. "Congratulations."  
"Thanks." Elizabeth smiled.

"Nothing to smile about." said Cynthia. "But in all seriousness, I thought maybe you should be Geena Davis, because, well...wasn't she the one that had the...crazy husband?"  
"Very funny." said Elizabeth.

"Actually, it's pretty damn sad." Cynthia said.

Later, on the way back from the coffee shop, Cynthia looked at Elizabeth, then hesitated.

"What?" Elizabeth said.

"Just...I..." She sighed. "I don't want to...cause you any...trouble, I guess, Elizabeth. You know, with...Stefan."  
Elizabeth sighed, and shook her head, looking down. "Don't worry about that." she said.

"No, no...I want you to know that..." She trailed off. "We don't have to...I mean, I'll understand if you don't want to talk with me anymore. I won't be hurt if I don't hear from you. I mean, I know how he...you know."  
Elizabeth sighed. "It's fine."  
"Are you sure about that?"  
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I'm sure."  
"Because...if you want to...I don't want to jeopardize what you've got."  
"No." said Elizabeth.

"Okay." Cynthia shrugged.

There was a moment's silence. "It's like this." Elizabeth said after a moment.

Cynthia glanced at her. "Yeah?"

"I know it's...odd, talking to someone Stefan used to be engaged to." she said. "And...I know...especially...that you two didn't part on good terms. That he really has a case that this is a disloyal thing to do. Talking to you."  
"True."

"But I told him I was having coffee with someone yesterday." She swallowed. "And he didn't know it was you."  
"Right."  
"And...he reacted...not too much different than he would have if he _had_ known it was you. I saw the look on his face. Always jealous. And he told me that if I wanted to have female friends, they should only be..." She patted her stomach. "Our daughters."  
Cynthia shrugged. "Well...daughters can be great company." she said. "But yeah. I see where you're headed. He's a bit...clannish. To be sure."  
Elizabeth shook her head. "He doesn't want to share me with anyone, for anything." she said. "And he never did. He's so...like a child in so many ways."  
"You know what I have to say about that." said Cynthia. "And it begins with an 's', and ends with a 'd'."  
"Shithead?" Elizabeth said. Cynthia smiled ruefully.

"That's one word, yeah."  
"It's amazing he's able to practice law, being like he is." Elizabeth observed. "But he is."  
"High functioning." said Cynthia. "You'd never know it with some of them, until you really sat down and had a talk with them. And then it would be so obvious, that you'd never be able to stop seeing the signs."  
"Maybe so." Elizabeth said. "But I felt guilty, at first. About our talks. And now, I don't."  
"Yeah."  
"Because...it's no different...not really...than he would act from if you were anyone else." Elizabeth said. "And if you were anyone else, and we saw each other socially, then Stefan would just have to get over it."  
"I guess that he would, yeah." There was a silence.

"And he will." said Elizabeth finally. "He'll get over it, if he loves me. And I know...I know with almost one hundred percent that he does love me."  
"Well...I guess...I can't argue with that. In his way." said Cynthia.

"And maybe he's indeed..._some_ of the things that you say." said Elizabeth. "But I have to just get over those things, as well. Because I love him."  
"Okay." said Cynthia.

"So." said Elizabeth. "You can call me anytime you want. And I'll hold onto your number, and..keep you in mind. If I ever...if it's." She sniffled.

"Of course, of course." Cynthia said. She patted her shoulder. "You can call. Anytime he's..." She sighed, and shook her head. "You can call anytime. Okay?"  
"I...appreciate it." said Elizabeth.

Cynthia sighed. "Well."

"Yeah."  
"Call me anytime you want to rob a liquor store." said Cynthia.

"Or teach rapists a lesson."  
"Yeah." said Cynthia.

"Well, at least Thelma was the one who slept with a really good-looking guy." said Elizabeth. "Right?"  
"Uh huh. Yeah." said Cynthia. "The implication being that _I'm _the old one?"  
"You're the one that said I was a giantess." said Elizabeth. "By default, that makes_ you_ Louise."  
"I guess I did." said Cynthia. "But I have the feeling about you, that you relish the 'default'."

"I can't win no matter what I do, can I?" Elizabeth shook her head.

"When you're a catty bitch, you can't." said Cynthia. Elizabeth glared at her. "What? Start practicing that stuff with me, and I'll cut you off at your giant knees. Don't think I won't."  
Elizabeth snorted, and shook her head. "Fine." she said.

"So Stefan's your Brad Pitt, huh?" Cynthia said.

"Uh huh."  
"Great to know." Cynthia said. "But I'm guessing he doesn't have exactly...washboard abs like Brad Pitt did in that scene."  
"Washboard?" said Elizabeth. She began to laugh. "Washboard?"  
"Didn't think so."

"Washing machine, Cynthia." said Elizabeth.

"Yes." said Cynthia.

"But washing machines...are far more...useful." said Elizabeth. "Everyone would rather have a washing machine than a washboard."

"Not all of us." said Cynthia. "Not _most_ of us, in fact."

"You know _I_ was a waitress once." Cynthia mused on the phone to her a few days later. "Like Louise."  
"Oh, really." Elizabeth said. "That's interesting. Where did you work?"  
"Oh, one of those...trendy little diners." said Cynthia.

"When was this?"  
"Not too long ago, actually." said Cynthia. "Maya was at school during the day, and my creative flow had slowed, so...I just thought it'd be something to do. Meet some people."  
"Huh."  
"Yep. Can't sit around watching soaps all day." said Cynthia. "Can we?"  
"No. I'm not fond of soaps, anyway." said Elizabeth. "When Stefan married me, he made me quit my job-"  
"Did he?"  
"Well, not 'made' me." Elizabeth amended. "But _I_ felt, on my own, that it was only right. Toby was there, after all. Stefan would absolutely _burn_ with jealousy."  
"Too bad that metaphor's not literal." Cynthia said. "Anyway, have you seen him since you married Stefan?"  
"Once." said Elizabeth. "I ran into him on the street. He said he was glad to see me, hadn't seen me in awhile. Stuff like that."  
"How did you feel?" Cynthia said. "Seeing him?"  
"Indifferent, I guess." Elizabeth said. "No old stirrings of passion. Though to be sure, Stefan thought there might be, when I told him about it. Went into a complete panic."  
"Naturally." said Cynthia.

"For no good reason, though." Elizabeth said, her voice faroff.

"Everything he does is for no good reason, Elizabeth." said Cynthia. "He didn't like my day job either, though, when I was with him. Working at a bar."  
"Barmaid?"  
"Bar_tender, _ thank you very much." said Cynthia. "Was worried about all the guys hitting on me."  
"And here his friend was the one he-"  
"Stow it." Cynthia said.

"Sorry." said Elizabeth.

"Aren't you always?"  
"Did you like any of them?" said Elizabeth. "That hit on you?"  
"Some of them were kind of cute."  
"Aha."  
"But..." said Cynthia. "I wasn't about to act on it. Not until-well, you know."

"Yeah." Elizabeth sighed. "Until you found out what-"  
"A perfect bastard he can be."  
"If that's how you want to put it."

"So." Cynthia said in the car on the way to Starbucks one afternoon. "I hope it's okay, my boyfriend decided to meet us. It's his lunch hour."  
"Sure, sure." said Elizabeth. "He's not like...a mob lawyer or anything, though is he? I'm asking on Stefan's behalf, because that's exactly what he'd be worried about. Me associating with criminals."  
Cynthia laughed. "No." she said. "No, he's more of an...ambulance chaser type, really."  
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Really."

Cynthia shrugged. "He'd probably agree."

"So where did you meet this guy?" Elizabeth asked.

"I met him outside this bookstore." said Cynthia. "I had a flat, and...well. He helped me change it. Wildly exciting, I know."  
Elizabeth shrugged. "Gentlemanly though."  
"Yeah, well." said Cynthia. "Anyway, I had a Joan Baez CD in my car, and he mentioned that he liked Joan, and well, one thing led to another, and we kept talking to each other. I don't know why, he's certainly...not the usual type I'd go for. But he was...interesting."  
"Well, good." said Elizabeth. "I'm glad. What's his name?"  
"Frank." Cynthia said. "His name is Frank."  
"Good name." Elizabeth said, opening the door of the coffee shop.

"I think so." Cynthia agreed.

"Frank Cox." said the man that Cynthia had approached in the coffee shop, a very thin, perhaps alarmingly so, man, with dark, slicked back hair. "How are you?"  
"Great. I'm great." said Elizabeth, smiling. "What about you?"  
"Good." They were silent for a minute. Frank glanced at her, frowning. Elizabeth continued smiling at him, puzzled.

"I...I know you. Elizabeth."  
"You do?"  
"Yeah, absolutely." Frank said. "You're...you're Elizabeth Dawes, right? Stephen's daughter?"  
"Yes, that's my dad's n-" Elizabeth glanced at Frank, and placed him, recalling the parking lot of the church, and her time spent taking her father from place to place. "From the...meetings, right?"  
"Yeah, yeah. AA." Frank said. "How is Stephen? I haven't seen him in forever."  
"He's great." Elizabeth said. "He and my husband work together now. They're partners."  
"Oh, that's great. That's great." said Frank. "Of course, you know, I'm a lawyer myself."  
"I do." said Elizabeth. "Yeah. I remember that."

"Yeah, I..." Frank sighed, and trailed off, looking at her. "Well. Stephen still...going to the meetings?"  
"He is." said Elizabeth. She looked at him. "What about...yourself? Do you still go?"  
"No, I got too...busy. I mean, I'm doing good, don't get me wrong." Frank said. Elizabeth nodded. "Yeah. Just...don't see the point of meetings, much."  
Cynthia cleared her throat. "So." she said. "You two are...acquainted, with each other, I take it?"  
"We've talked a few times." said Elizabeth. "After my dad's meetings."  
"Yeah. We...we did talk." Frank said.

"Small world." Cynthia said.

Frank smiled towards Cynthia. "Sometimes it is, yeah." He looked at Elizabeth's stomach. "Wow."  
"Yeah." said Elizabeth.

"When's it due?"  
"They're due in July." said Elizabeth. "Twins."  
"No kidding. Should you even be out?" Frank looked at her with concern. "I mean, you're pretty...far along."  
"Of course she should, Frank." Cynthia said, moderate irritation in her voice.

"Well, how do I know?" said Frank. "I mean...you can't be too, careful, right?"  
"Well, you and her husband would be in agreement." said Cynthia. "About not letting her out of the house." Elizabeth shook her head at her.

"So how do you like being married?" Frank asked her, when they had gotten their coffee.

"Has it's moments." Elizabeth replied mildly.

"Well, I'm really happy." said Frank. "That you found someone special, I mean."

"Me too." Elizabeth smiled.

"It's important, finding someone special." Frank said, looking at Cynthia, who for her, had something of a non-sarcastic smile on her face.

Elizabeth smiled. "Cynthia tells me that you helped her when she was in distress one night."

"Well. It was just a flat." said Frank.

"Still." Elizabeth said. "Not everyone would. Help...without some...agenda."  
"I'm not too sure he didn't have some agenda, Elizabeth." said Cynthia.

"Well, of course I did." said Frank. "Talking to you." Cynthia nodded.

"So you're fond of Joan Baez?" Elizabeth said. "I think she's great, too."  
"Oh, yeah." Frank said. "I think...Latin types are really beautiful." Elizabeth noddded.

"You like the Italian ladies, then?" Elizabeth said.

"Yeah. Well, _I'm _Italian." said Frank. "So I could be a little biased."  
"You are?" said Elizabeth.

"Yeah, on my mother's side." said Frank.

"Very interesting." said Elizabeth. "I wouldn't have guessed it, at first glance, but now that you told me, I see it a little."  
"Yeah. Well, you know. I'm proud of my heritage, to be sure." said Frank. "Cynthia, not so much, though."  
"I'm not proud or ashamed, Frank." Cynthia said, looking at her purse, giving a look that she usually had when she was itching for a cigarette.

"Because of her mother?" Elizabeth asked, though it wasn't really a question.

"Yeah." said Frank, looking down at the table. "Yeah, to be...to be sure."

Cynthia sighed, shaking her head at Elizabeth. "Oh, Elizabeth just wants to talk about my mother because it reminds her of her favorite thing in the world." She gave Elizabeth a look.

"That isn't true, Cynthia." said Elizabeth quietly. Cynthia raised her eyebrows, and shrugged.

"What favorite thing?" said Frank. Cynthia just shook her head.

"_Carrie_, she means." said Elizabeth. "I...I'm a pretty big Stephen King fan."  
"_Pretty_ big?" said Cynthia.

Elizabeth cleared her throat irritably. "But...of course...that most certainly isn't the _only_ reason I want her to talk about her mother. Cynthia is a very poor judge of character."  
"My association with you would probably be indicative of that." said Cynthia.

"Well." said Frank. "Of course, I'm sure...Elizabeth is sincere in wanting to help you. She's a very nice person."  
"I'm relieved to see that you don't know her as well as I thought, then, Frank." Cynthia replied, looking at Elizabeth.

"Real funny." said Elizabeth.

"No, I mean...you don't even have any idea the things that come out of this one's mouth, Frank." Cynthia said. "I think she may be psychotic."  
"No." said Frank. "I mean, she's pregnant, Cynthia. Women say a lot of things that sound off, then." He cleared his throat. "So I've heard, anyway. I've never...had any kids myself."  
"Oh." said Elizabeth. "How come?"

"Well, I've just been...never lucky enough to...have someone I can really connect with that way." said Frank. He shrugged. "I don't know."  
Elizabeth bit her lip. "I'm sorry to hear that." she said.

Frank shrugged. "Yeah, well...as your dad knows, because I said it in the meetings, I had a...sketchy youth, you know." He shrugged. "In and out jail a lot. For...petty crimes. Theft, booze...other things I'm not gonna...not gonna say in front of the ladies, but..."

Elizabeth nodded sympathetically. "But you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps." said Elizabeth. "Went to law school. Right?"

"Yeah, I guess so." said Frank.

"Of course." Elizabeth said decisively. "You did."

"Got it off the back of a matchbook, actually." said Frank.

"Hmmm." Elizabeth said.

"No, no...I guess you're right." said Frank.

"I think so." said Elizabeth.

"You know," Frank said, when the three of them were outside of the coffee shop. "I've always been something of a Stephen King fan myself."

"Oh, no." Cynthia muttered. "Frank, don't get her started, please."  
"Really?" Elizabeth said, ignoring her. "What's your favorite book of his?"  
"Uh, well..." Frank said. "Cynthia, what's that one with Tom Hanks?"  
"_Green Mile_, Frank." Cynthia said, sounding more and more unhappy. Elizabeth bit her lip uncertainly.

"Yeah, yeah. _The Green Mile_." Frank said. "I like that one. Maybe the movie, a little more than book, though."  
"Yes. It's a great movie." Elizabeth said. "It's so hard to watch when John gets executed, though. And when he starts to sing 'I'm In Heaven', I just...can't stop crying."  
"Yeah, yeah. I know what you mean." said Frank. "I get emotional over those things, sometimes, too."  
"And to think, he was trying to help those little girls." said Elizabeth fervently, as Cynthia gave her a very sour, but also smirking look. "Innocent the entire time. Wrongfully executed."  
"Yep. Well, they're all 'innocent', criminals, but..." He shrugged. "It was a pretty heartbreaking scene, though."  
"Yeah." Elizabeth tilted her head, looking at him reprovingly. "Did you ever read the actual book, though, Frank?"

"I did." said Frank. "Years ago, though."  
"You should read it again." said Elizabeth.

Frank smiled. "Well, maybe I will." he said. "Yeah, I probably will."  
"Good." Elizabeth said, but then swallowed, looking at the less than happy look on Cynthia's face. "Only if you want to, of course."  
"Sure I want to." said Frank.

"I'm sure you've got to be going." said Cynthia. "Wouldn't want the named partners to get on you again, would you?"  
Frank looked at her. "No, I...guess...I wouldn't want that." he said. He looked at Elizabeth, smiling ruefully. "Seems no matter where I'm working, I'm always getting in trouble with the boss."  
Elizabeth smiled. "Little too...New York, maybe?" she asked. "Shooting that mouth off?"  
"You know it." Frank replied. "Nah. Just bad luck."  
"Sorry to hear it." Elizabeth replied, smiling.

"Yeah." said Frank. "Well. Anyway. This sure was...a surprise. Seeing you."  
"For me too." said Elizabeth.

"A really nice surprise, though." said Frank. "Don't get me wrong."  
"Oh, we won't get you wrong, Frank, believe me." said Cynthia, looking beyond irritated. "Now would you please get out of here?"  
"Cynthia!" said Elizabeth.

"What's eating you?" Frank asked her.

"Oh, nothing at all, Frank." said Cynthia. "I wouldn't worry myself about it."  
"She's an old friend." Frank said, looking at Cynthia like she was out of her mind. "Her dad and I know each other. Why would you think-"  
"I don't 'think' anything Frank." said Cynthia. "And if I did, I damned well don't want to discuss it in this setting. So just drop the lost puppy act, okay? Because I just don't give a shit."  
Frank looked at her, frowning. "Maybe you better take it easy on the caffeine."

"Don't tell me what to do." Cynthia said. "You're not going to turn into a controlling nutcase out of nowhere like my ex-fiance, are you."  
"No, no." Frank said, looking nonplussed. "Well. Anyway, Elizabeth. Tell Stephen...one day at a time."  
"Is Thursdays on Nick at Nite." Cynthia said. She rolled her eyes, but looked slightly less irritated than she had a moment before.

"That, too." said Frank.

"I'll tell him." Elizabeth replied. "I'll tell him I saw you. He'll..he'll be glad you're doing well."

After they said their goodbyes, Cynthia was silent for awhile in the car. Elizabeth swallowed nervously, looking at her.

"Cynthia?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I..." She sniffed.

"You're not gonna start crying again, because I don't think I can stand it." Cynthia said.

Elizabeth sniffled again, this time more angrily. "That's pretty damned inconsiderate when I'm pregnant."  
"Yeah, well." Cynthia muttered. She shook her head.

"Why are you angry at me?" Elizabeth said.

"Who said I'm angry?"  
"You don't have to." Elizabeth said. "It's Frank. Right? You think I'm...after him or something."  
"No, I don't think you're after him." Cynthia said. "I'm not too sure about him, however."  
"I'm sure that isn't true." She bit her lip. "I-"  
"You two go out before?" Cynthia said.

"Cynthia, I told you, I didn't date anyone but Toby." Elizabeth said irritably. "I _told_ you that."  
"Well, excuse me, Miss Schizoid, for not being able to remember with full clarity every last detail of your life you told me."  
"Don't call me that, Cynthia." said Elizabeth. "I most certainly am _not_ schizoid."  
"Well, you're certainly acting like a schizoid, just like Stefan would snap at me every time I didn't remember the exact name of the anorexic girl he went to summer camp with!" Cynthia said.

"A _little _different, don't you think, Cynthia?" Elizabeth said. "I mean, you and I talk about how I waited for Toby, quite a lot."  
"Well, so fucking what, Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "I mean, I thought maybe you were exaggerating a little, I thought maybe there must have been at least_ one_ other guy in there."  
"Well, there wasn't."  
"Well, of course not. Why would there be." said Cynthia. "Stefan's little princess has to recite everything down to the last minute detail, doesn't she? Otherwise, she'd be a liar. And we know how much her master-"  
"I'm going to get out and start walking." Elizabeth threatened.

"Way to endanger your master's children, then." said Cynthia. "I'm sure you wouldn't want to do that."  
Elizabeth shook her head, angrily, looking out the window.

"About Frank." Cynthia said. "Did you..."  
"I had a few conversations with him from time to time about inane things when I'd come to pick my dad up, Cynthia." said Elizabeth tiredly.

"Uh huh. What sort of things?"  
"Like I said, mostly inane things. The weather. Traffic. What was on TV that night." said Elizabeth. "Occasionally, he would try to..impress me with...saying stuff he thought was deep, I guess. About...about the topics of their meetings."  
"Uh huh." Cynthia said. "And...he was...was he...interested in you?"  
Elizabeth sighed, looking at her lap. "I think so." she said. "Yes, I'm...pretty sure he was."  
"Did he ask you to go on a date?" Cynthia said.

"No." said Elizabeth. "No, because I always ended the conversations before he got a chance to."  
"I see." Cynthia said. "And you were...not at all interested in him."  
"No, I wasn't then, because of Toby." said Elizabeth. "And I'm certainly not now, being a married woman, Cynthia."  
"Mmmm. Well." said Cynthia. "He remembers you, that I have no doubt."  
"Remembering things isn't a bad thing, Cynthia." Elizabeth said.

"What is that supposed to mean, Elizabeth?"  
"Just what I said, Cynthia." said Elizabeth. "What is he supposed to do, just pretend he forgot who I was, so as not to appear unfaithful."  
"I don't know, Elizabeth." Cynthia said tiredly.

"You should be glad he was honest." said Elizabeth. "Didn't try to pretend that he didn't remember me so as not to make you jealous."

"Frank's not honest." said Cynthia. "I mean, he can be honest, in his way, but...he's a con man."  
"He is?"  
"Hell, yeah, like most lawyers." said Cynthia. Elizabeth bit her lip. "Don't start. Frank's not averse to obfuscation, to be sure. But I think he was overcome. With...remembering you."  
"Cynthia, don't be ridiculous." said Elizabeth. "Whatever Frank's feelings for me _were_...I'm sure he's gotten over them by now. He was just lonely before. Now he's found someone better. Better for him, that is."  
"I guess." said Cynthia looking unconvinced.

"He was just being friendly." said Elizabeth. "From what I remember my father saying about him, he's a nice guy. Got along with everybody in the group."  
"Yeah." Cynthia said.

"You know that about him, I'm sure." said Elizabeth. "Do you...think you have anything to worry about?"  
"I don't know, Elizabeth." said Cynthia. "I...didn't think I did, but then I see him gazing at you, with some kind of...rapt puppy dog expression on his face, and...well, I just don't know about any of this."  
"What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked, frowning.

"I mean...I'm forty-five years old, and not getting any younger." said Cynthia. "It's hard for me to find a decent guy, I haven't exactly had the most fantastic luck in particular."  
"Uh huh. Well-"  
"I mean I don't need the extraneous competition." said Cynthia. "Okay?"

"Extraneous?" Elizabeth said, frowning. "What do you mean?"  
"Look, Elizabeth." said Cynthia. "I don't want to hurt your feelings. I really don't. But...well, maybe the two of us talking and seeing each other on a regular basis...isn't such a great thing, really."  
"What?" Elizabeth said. "Cynthia...how could you say that? I didn't flirt with or have any intention of-"  
"I know, Elizabeth." said Cynthia. "And I didn't say that it was your fault. But...maybe, for the sake of keeping things on good terms between Frank and myself...maybe it would be best if we...didn't go around each other for awhile."  
"I don't have to be around _Frank_." Elizabeth said. "I don't have to eat lunch with you again when he's there. But Cynthia...are you saying we can't talk when he's not there?"  
"I don't know, Elizabeth." Cynthia sighed. She looked at her. Elizabeth frowned in hurt and confusion. "I mean, isn't the main reason you want to talk to me because you're bored, and want to stir up some excitement in your life? Maybe you should think about how you might unintentionally affect mine."  
Elizabeth looked at the floor uncertainly. "If that's...what you think is best, Cynthia." she said finally.

Cynthia sighed. "Maybe I do."

"I...I guess I won't, then." Elizabeth said. "If that's what you really want." She swallowed.

"You're going to make this really difficult, aren't you?" Cynthia shook her head.

"No, I...guess I don't want to make things harder for you, Cynthia." Elizabeth said, looking down at her lap.

Cynthia shook her head. "I..." She cleared her throat. "Think how this will help you with Stefan. I know how possessive he can be. I _know, _Elizabeth. You don't want some interfering outside force making trouble for you, do you?"

"Maybe." Elizabeth swallowed. They rode on in silence.

"Well." Cynthia said when they got to their apartment building. She looked at her. "I guess...this is it."  
"Yeah." said Elizabeth disconsolately.

"Oh, come on." said Cynthia. "I'll still check on you from time to time."

"Oh, I don't need checking on, but thanks." said Elizabeth flatly.

"Of course I will." said Cynthia, patting her hand. "Check on that baby Antichrist."  
"Hilarious." said Elizabeth.

"You can call me, when you're about to have them." said Cynthia. "I'll visit you. When they're born."  
"I don't think dear old Dad would like that very much, Cynthia, so maybe that's not a good idea."  
"Since when has what Stefan wants ever stopped you in the past?" Cynthia asked. Elizabeth shook her head. "Good to know you're finally referring to him as what he really is to you, by the way. Dad."  
"Make me glad we won't be talking." said Elizabeth. "That's good. Great idea."

"Noble and self-sacrificing, that's me." said Cynthia. "Trying to make you think I'm insulting you to make it easier on you."  
"Yeah, right."  
"Well, actually, I'm not insulting you." said Cynthia. "I'm insulting your sicko husband. In my opinion, you need to get rid of him, ASAP."  
"I guess it's a good thing that I care even _less_ about what you think, then." said Elizabeth.

"I'd guessed you didn't." said Cynthia. "But in my opinion, Stefan needs to hear the rallying cry of '_Towanda_!'."  
"The Amazing Amazon?" said Elizabeth.

"None other."  
"I love that movie." said Elizabeth. "I love anything Kathy Bates is in."  
"I wonder why?" Cynthia said.

"Especially _Misery_, of course." said Elizabeth.

"I figured."  
"Guess I won't be boring you with it anymore, the, will I?" said Elizabeth dejectedly.

"Silver lining to every dark cloud." said Cynthia. Elizabeth glared at her.

"Fine then." said Elizabeth. "I'll let you have stick boy all to yourself. I wouldn't want to stand in the way of your securing a prize like him."  
"Stick boy?" Cynthia said. "You'd better watch it. Compared to yours, everyone is 'stick boy'."  
"True." said Elizabeth.

"Stick boy." Cynthia mused.

"Just a joke." said Elizabeth.

"Well." said Cynthia. "In any case. They can be hard to...secure...fat or skinny. You know that."  
"I guess I do."  
"Unless of course, you want to get rid of them." said Cynthia, glancing at her. "Then they'll never leave. You'll have to...drop your earrings at your lover's house for them to find."  
"You did that deliberately?"  
"Well, that one was probably subconscious on my part." said Cynthia. "Nonetheless. I wasn't too upset when it went missing."

"Thought that seemed kind of sloppy." said Elizabeth. Cynthia shrugged. "For a liar, like you, especially."  
"Well, now you're making it easy for me." said Cynthia. "Out."  
Elizabeth shook her head at her. "Just a joke." she said.

"One that reminds me how I don't want him or those owned by him around me."  
"Okay." said Elizabeth. "See you around, Lauren." She stepped out of the car.  
"Lauren?"  
"Hutton."

"Hutton?" said Cynthia. "Oh, I see. Catty as always."  
"You got it."  
"I don't like remarks about my teeth, Giganta." said Cynthia. "Be glad to be rid of me, or I'd really blast you for that one."  
"Well, I..." Elizabeth sniffled. "I'm sorry, okay? I don't like being called Stefan's property."  
"Then stop acting like it, if you don't."  
"I don't."

"Well, we have a difference of opinion about that." said Cynthia. "But in any case. I'll see you around."  
"No, you won't." said Elizabeth. "You've made that clear, that you don't want to."

"Not about what I want, Elizabeth." said Cynthia. "It's life, and it gets in the way. Of everything. Of friendship."  
"Only if you let it." said Elizabeth. "Besides, who said we were friends?" But she looked at the ground sadly.  
Cynthia shook her head. "I wish it could be different, Elizabeth." she said. "I really do."  
"What the hell's so great about Frank, anyway?" said Elizabeth. "In my opinion, he's the saddest of sad sacks."  
"Yeah, well, maybe he's also..._humble_." said Cynthia. "I'm sure you hate that in a man, but try to see it from another perspective, could you?"  
"Whatever." said Elizabeth. She shook her head. "For somebody who claims to be a feminist, you sure are eager to hang on to a guy at the expense of our friendship."  
Cynthia bit her lip, and looked down at the steering wheel for a moment. "Well, it isn't him, Elizabeth." she said finally. "It's just...if Frank has got the hots for someone fifteen years younger than me...I'd end up resenting you."  
"Right."  
"And...I don't want to resent you, Elizabeth." said Cynthia. "I like you."  
"Oh." said Elizabeth.

"So it's best we go out on this note." said Cynthia. "This might seem cruel, but it's a lot less cruel this way in reality. Trust me."  
Elizabeth felt a lump in her throat. She started to sniffle.

"Don't do this to me, Liz." said Cynthia.

" 'The old hooty owl hooty hoos to the-' " Elizabeth said. She began to cry.

"Oh, God."  
She straightened up. "Cindy." she said. "Cindy's in love. With stick boy."  
"Get out of here, would you?" Cynthia said. "Freak." But she smiled sadly.

Elizabeth sniffled. "Goodbye, Cynthia." she said.

"Oh, quit being so dramatic." said Cynthia. She shook her head.

"Goodbye, Liz." she said.

Elizabeth closed the car door, and looked at Cynthia, sniffling more, watching sadly as she drove away.

As she expected, Elizabeth was not in a very good mood by the time Stefan came home that evening, having crying fits all afternoon, not being able to get through a page of _It_, which she had just started re-reading, thinking all the way through about how things had wound up with Cynthia.

Stefan had kept stealing glances at her all throughout dinner. Elizabeth had been silent for the most part all throughout, giving mostly one-word responses to him.

"Lizzie, I notice that you seem quiet." said Stefan finally, when they were seated on the couch after dinner.

Elizabeth propped her book in her face. "I'm just absorbed in the story, Stefan." said Elizabeth.

"How can you read that garbage, Lizzie?" Stefan asked. "Especially in front of me."

"Just because you don't like it doesn't make it garbage, Stefan." Elizabeth replied calmly, but inside she felt a kind of disgusted contempt churning.  
"Reading about serial killers, lighting flatluence, and-"  
"Would you shut up?"  
"_I _know what's in there." Stefan said. "You've told me about a hundred times, why wouldn't I?"  
"Do you have to do this to me now, Stefan?" Elizabeth said.

"No time like the present." said Stefan. "Besides, even if it were great literature, which..." He snorted. Elizabeth felt her teeth grinding together.

"It would still be rather inconsiderate of you to wave that in front of me, wouldn't it?" said Stefan. "Since you know full well I have a phobia about clowns. Are you trying to do me in?"  
"Afraid you might _wet_ yourself, Stefan?" said Elizabeth. It was cruel, but she already heard the words being spoken out loud by herself almost involuntarily.

"Funny, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "Of course, I'm sure you'd love that, wouldn't you? It's just like Stephen King would have in his stories. I've gleaned that there's not a story of his that doesn't involve some kind of a bathroom reference."  
"You bet your fern there's not, fat boy." said Elizabeth.

"That's enough, Elizabeth." said Stefan, looking at her with a look of outraged hurt. And rightfully so, she realized. She bit her lip.

"I didn't mean it." she said in a rush, feeling chastened.

"Sure you didn't." said Stefan.

"Well, I like fat boys." Elizabeth said. She stroked his arm. "You know that."

The next night, Elizabeth was looking at a photo album with pictures of Stefan's mother. She was a very attractive blonde woman with strong features, always in a glamorous outfit, and setting, in all the photographs.

"She was so beautiful." Elizabeth said. "Your mother."  
Stefan glanced at the picture. "I suppose." he said shortly.

"She never gave you what you wanted, though, did she?" Elizabeth asked softly. She looked at him.

"No." Stefan said quietly. There was a silence. Stefan touched her shoulder, looking at her with tenderness in his eyes.

"But you do." he said to her.

"Touching?" said Elizabeth. She swallowed.

"Uh huh."  
"You like to be touched, Stefan?" Elizabeth asked him.

"Yes. By you."  
"But not by anyone else."

"Why would I?" said Stefan. "And shouldn't you be grateful that I don't?"  
"Even non-sexually?" said Elizabeth. "I should be grateful for that?"  
"Well, yes." said Stefan. "I know I don't want anyone else to touch _you_. Even...non-sexually, as you said."  
Elizabeth shook her head. "Do you think she was prettier than me?" she said, looking at him.

"No." said Stefan.

"I thought of her," said Elizabeth. "When _A Summer Place_ was on TCM last night."

"Really?" said Stefan. "Why?"  
"Because she looks like the lady." said Elizabeth. "You know. The one who played Sandra Dee's mother."  
"Oh." said Stefan. "Maybe a little."

"I think so." said Elizabeth.

"She was very beautiful, in the old-fashioned way, if that's what you mean." said Stefan. "Like the movie stars of the 1950s."  
"Mmmm." said Elizabeth. "Not just speaking of her, are we?"  
"Maybe not, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"Ann, that was her name?" said Elizabeth.

"Yes." said Stefan. "Ann Butterfield. That was her maiden name."  
"Nice name." said Elizabeth. She swallowed, glancing at the pictures of Ann. She ran her hands down the photo album thoughtfully.

"Fields of butter?" Elizabeth said.

"What?" Stefan said.

"I had to have braces in sixth grade." said Elizabeth thoughtfully, glancing at the photo album.

"Did you, Lizzie?" said Stefan. "Bit of a non-sequitur, from 'fields of butter', isn't it?"  
"Oh, I'm sorry." said Elizabeth. She closed her teeth, and spoke just shy of a whisper. " 'I had to have braces in the sixth grade.'"  
Stefan looked at her incredulously, his tongue in one side of his mouth. "Really."  
"Well, isn't that how I'm supposed to say it, if it's a non-sequitur?"  
"Well, they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I guess." said Stefan.

"Exactly. Just trying to butter you up, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "I mean, I know you love fields of it, and all."  
"I had the feeling." Stefan said, shaking his head. "I had the feeling."  
"I just said you liked butter. I didn't say it had any particular result." said Elizabeth. "Anyway-"  
"Lizzie..."  
"Anyway, I had to have braces in the sixth grade." Elizabeth said. "Before I got them, everyone made fun of my overbite. Said I had teeth like a beaver."  
"Or a chipmunk, of course."  
"Uh huh." said Elizabeth. "Anyway. You have such straight white teeth."  
"Why, thank you, Lizzie." said Stefan.

"No problem, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "But I bet _you_ never had to have braces. Did you?"  
"No, I didnt." said Stefan. "Why?"  
"No." said Elizabeth, looking at him, a flat, humorless expression on her face. "No, of course you didn't."  
"I'm sorry that that would...upset you so, Lizzie." said Stefan sarcastically. "Maybe I can realign them to be crooked for you, if that would make you happy."  
Elizabeth shook her head. "I'll bet..._she_ had pretty teeth, too." she said, pointing down to the picture of Ann.

"Who? My mother?" said Stefan. "Are you envious of my mother, Elizabeth?"  
"Not at all." said Elizabeth. "But I bet she did. Have perfect teeth. Probably perfect skin, too."  
"I wouldn't know." said Stefan bitterly. "I didn't really see her all that much during my childhood, Elizabeth. Mostly I was left with the nanny."  
"Oooh, yes, and you were left alone with the nanny, who you loved like a mommy, but then she had her own children, and she brought them over one day, and you pitched a fit, and hated those children, because we all know what happens when 'Steff' gets jealous." Elizabeth glared at him. "But that's why you're a bleeding heart liberal today, and just _love_ black people. A little too much, maybe. In fact, you told me, in one of your many...'fascinating' anecdotes, one of them even reminded you of your nanny, mommy figure. But boo hoo, she dumped you, too. What was her name again?"  
"Vanessa." Stefan said quietly.

"Yep. Vanessa Walker." Elizabeth said. "But Vanessa wasn't a nanny, was she? She was a lawyer, and then she got a job in New York, and left you, which is why you decided it would be best to marry a loser like me. Not too likely _I'd _have any such prospects in the future."

"I've never had such a thought in my life, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "Envy and jealousy are ugly, ugly things."

"And that all goes to why you're so screwed up today." said Elizabeth. "Mommy didn't love you, and mommy figures left to live better lives."  
"Which is why I had to be married to a bitch like you." said Stefan. "Seems my stepfather was right. He always said I'd get what I truly deserved one day."

Elizabeth was silent for a second, looking at him, biting his lip, looking at her with that mocking expression he always had in just these moments and then reached over, and gave him a resounding slap on the face. Stefan laughed, shaking his head at her.

"Hit me again, Lizzie. I like it." he said. Elizabeth glowered at him, seething with rage.

"Please." she said.

"That's what you want, isn't it, Lizzie?" said Stefan. "Goad me into saying something hateful, so you can slap me around?"

"No." Elizabeth protested.

"It is." said Stefan. "Little psycho."  
"Well," said Elizabeth. "And your mother was busy. Having perfect teeth, and perfect skin. But you know what I discovered about people with even features, and nice teeth?"  
"Do tell."  
"There's a tradeoff, Stefan." said Elizabeth.

"Is there really?"  
"They get fat." said Elizabeth. "That's the tradeoff."  
"How clever an observation." said Stefan. "I wish I could have a pithy and enlightened mind like yours, Lizzie."  
"She got fat." Elizabeth said, tapping the pictures.

"She was not fat." Stefan said, indignance creeping into his voice.

"She was plumping up, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "I mean, she might not have any...snub nose and chipmunk cheeks, but...the older she got, the plumper she got. Little too much...butter on that toast, huh?"  
"You're cruel, and petty, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "Ugly, and eaten up with envy."  
"I-"  
"Ugly on the inside, I mean." said Stefan.

"Speaking of butter..." Elizabeth said. "Way I heard it...from your own mouth, incidentally...her bread got buttered pretty often. Didn't it?"  
"I've been nothing but a good husband to you, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "Nothing but kind and generous."

"Yep. Like her son, she was screwed up." Elizabeth said. "Craved sex from multiple partners. And no, you haven't. You've been a jealous, controlling, capricious psychopath, so much so that I'm worried that you might hate our twins for taking my affection away."  
Stefan looked at her, his mouth dropping open. Elizabeth shook her head.

"Oh, and isn't that why your stepfather finally disowned you, Steff?" said Elizabeth. "Because you had to go around buttering everybody's bread, including his girlfriend's? What was her name? Imogene or some pretentious name?"  
"Ingrid." Stefan said quietly.

"Yeah, Ingrid. That was it." said Elizabeth. "Showed her a real good time, didn't you?" Elizabeth shook her head. "Yep." she said. "That's what happens to a certain kind of fucked up, self-destructive, spreading it around, good-looking people. They crave affection and attention, and soon, they start translating it into love of food, and they get really fat. Like mother, like son."

"You want to hurt me, Lizzie." said Stefan. He looked at her, and his eyes filled with tears. "That much is clear."  
Elizabeth glowered, shaking her head.

"I don't have to ask why." said Stefan. "Because you never grew up. Because _you're _the jealous psychopath, not me."  
"No."  
"Envious, too." said Stefan. "You have this hangup about yourself, and you've projected it onto me, that you're not good enough for me. So you've grown resentful. Now you've made it your business to tell me every five minutes how fat you think I am, because for some reason, you feel inferior."

"That's not why-"  
"Now, I never thought of myself as being a really great looking guy...I mean, I knew intellectually that I was one, but..well. It never mattered to me." He shook his head. "But it matters that you acknowledge it. But apparently, you realized it a little too much. So much so that you've grown to hate me for it."  
"I don't hate you."  
"Please." said Stefan, his tone filled with hurt. "You just spit hatred at me. It was stupid, and nonsensical, but it was hate-filled all the same."

"Because you're such a-"  
"I don't want to hear your sorry excuse." Stefan said shortly. He looked at her. "Just know, that if you do have a hatred for me and because of something so petty and _easily lost..._" He looked at her meaningfully. "As looks, or something so irrelevant as how many women I was with, before I ever knew you existed, that would be tragic. Very tragic, Lizzie. Because you clearly must have missed out on the fact that the person you have such resentment towards truly loves you. I don't know how you could possibly have missed it, but if you did...I truly love you. For the cheap seats."

"A little too much." said Elizabeth.

"I've never heard of anyone so ungrateful." Stefan said incredulously. "Really and truly."  
"You're glad to say 'They're all gonna laugh at you.'." said Elizabeth.

Stefan covered his eyes with one hand for a moment, sighing. "Elizabeth..."  
" Oh, I'm sorry. That's much too crude for you. What I mean is, you're only too glad to say, 'They'll all mock and castigate you, Lizzie.'"  
"Stephen King obsessed idiot." Stefan muttered.

"Oh, really?" said Elizabeth.

"Now Lizzie, you're really beginning to try my patience." said Stefan. "You've pushed me into saying things I hate to say."  
"Isn't that the classic abuser's excuse."  
"The only abuser here is you, Elizabeth." said Stefan. "But in any case. No, I'm not glad when people laugh at you. Just the opposite. Why? Has someone laughed at you? Is it that middle-aged whore you're hanging around with?"  
"No, Stef-"  
"She's responsible for this." said Stefan. "I knew it. Well."  
"Stefan, she is not responsible for this." said Elizabeth in irritation. Once again, Elizabeth was non-plussed at what a seemingly uncanny _intuition_ Stefan seemed to have at times. She shook her head. "You're the one who-"

"Now you've seen the folly of hanging around with someone like her, Elizabeth." said Stefan. Elizabeth felt her anger rising to a dangerous level at how quickly he'd leaped onto his conclusion, and also how fast he was working to tear Cynthia down. "I hate to say 'I told you so'...but...well. Best to stick with rabbits."

"You want another slap?" said Elizabeth.

"I'd love another slap, Lizzie." said Stefan. Elizabeth snorted. "I'll tell you, I'd rather be slapped in the face repeatedly, than have someone not care about me. I care, Lizzie."  
"So you think it'd be okay to slap me?" said Elizabeth. "That's what I'm hearing."  
"That's why you're a twit, then, Lizzie." said Stefan. "The temptation is great, don't get me wrong. But I've never once hit you, and you know it."

"Maybe not."  
"There's no maybe." said Stefan. "Ungrateful. As I said."  
"So you want a medal for basic decency?"  
"No." said Stefan. "But I do want you to acknowledge what a fantastic husband I am. Unprecedentedly so."

Elizabeth looked down at the floor, grudgingly hard-pressed to disagree with him, but also not wanting to stop being combative. She looked at her hands sullenly.  
"Yeah, well...like Thelma said about her husband, you could park a car in the shadow of your-"

"Maybe a scooter." said Stefan. "But what's the point of that crude, childish remark? That that cancels it?"  
"Blocks it out a bit."  
"Really?" said Stefan. "I knew you were shallow and immature, but-"  
"No, of course it doesn't block it out, Stefan." said Elizabeth. "Not that. Other things block your treatment of me, though."  
"Like what?"  
"Your jealousy." said Elizabeth. "And it's not like you were just jealous of other men. You don't want other people to be friends with m-"  
"Speaking of that, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "It happens that I was very disturbed by something you said earlier. That I would be without natural affection. For our children. I was quite torn up by that." He swallowed, looking at her. "How could you ever say that about me?"

"I was just-"

"I hate to break it to you, Lizzie, but soon you aren't going to be so special anymore." said Stefan. "When our children are born. Could that be wishful thinking on your part?"  
"Are you saying that _I'm _jealous of our unborn children, Stefan?"  
"Of course not." said Stefan. "I'd never say that about you. But you said it to me."  
"I was just using exaggeration for the sake of magnification." said Elizabeth. She bit her lip. "I'm really sorry. Really."

"Aren't you always." said Stefan. "Now there's a wedge between us. I don't like having a wedge between us. I was feeling close to you of late. You ruined it."  
"I was...feeling close to you of late, too, Stefan." said Elizabeth. She swallowed.

"Really." Stefan said, eying her. "Good, because I could have sworn you were maybe feeling closer to _Cynthia, _but..."  
Elizabeth cleared her throat angrily, and counted to ten. "You really don't have a clue, do you?" she said.

"About what, Lizzie?" said Stefan.

"Never mind." said Elizabeth. Talking to Stefan in the last few minutes, Elizabeth truly became mindful of the fact that, despite how glad he would be to know that Cynthia and herself would no longer be associating, what had happened with Cynthia truly wasn't his fault. And that she could be irrational, especially at this time, when she was hormonal.

And she felt a creeping realization that she truly was being ungrateful, and felt a terrible dismay at how she would hate to not be close to Stefan, who, if Cynthia was right about some of the things she'd said about him, had done absolutely nothing to deserve such treatment. Well, not all that much, anyway.

"Stefan," Elizabeth said. "I know you're not who you were a long time ago."  
"Uh huh." said Stefan. "It's true. I'm certainly _not_, Lizzie, and-"

"And you're...you're a loving person." Elizabeth said sadly. "You'll be a loving father."  
"Did you ever once have a doubt about that, Lizzie?" said Stefan.

"No, I really didn't." said Elizabeth. "I just said that in anger."  
"Because I'll still love you just as much." said Stefan. "More, even. But there will be more people to-"  
"Stefan." Elizabeth said sadly. "I know that. I don't need to be told. Like I'm a child."  
"I know you don't need to be told." said Stefan. "Maybe I just want to tell you."  
"Well." said Elizabeth. "I'm sorry...I got so angry. I'm not ungrateful. I just...I unjustly blamed you."  
"For what?" said Stefan, looking at her like she was crazy.

"For...for how...I feel about...the..." She looked at him, weighing if she should go ahead and tell him about Cynthia. He was looking at her with a mixture of worry and annoyance, the worry having an almost lugubrious quality to it, as, she had noticed, the longer they had been married, Stefan frequently had a look on his face that could be described as just that. Which made her heart ache a little, when she thought of how worried, and anxious he must be, all the time, going through life. Which didn't make her feel in the least unkindly towards him.

However, a look of gloating that would soon replace said look of worry, would be sure to push her far in the other direction, quite the opposite from kindness, if she told him about her parting of ways with Cynthia.

She sighed.

"Stefan..." she said, thinking of some of the things she'd said. And of the truth that he had had some true unhappiness in his life, from an early age, as well. "I...I sure am sorry."  
"Well, I know you didn't mean any of your bile, Lizzie." said Stefan. "As usual."  
"I meant about your mother." said Elizabeth softly. She squeezed his hand, caressing it gently.

"Oh." said Stefan. He looked down at the couch. "Well..."  
Elizabeth swallowed. "I know she hurt you."

"Well...no...no, it was like you said before, Elizabeth." said Stefan quietly. "I mean...there was...some truth in what you said. She was...she was sad, Elizabeth."  
"I'm sure she was." Elizabeth leaned against his shoulder.

"She...her car took a turn around a sharp curve in the road." Stefan said, in a voice Elizabeth had trouble hearing. She held onto him, a little tighter. "It was...ruled an accident. By the police."  
"Uh huh." Elizabeth looked at him sympathetically.

"But I...I've always thought..." He looked at Elizabeth, tears in his eyes. "I've always thought...I always thought...differently. Differently." He swallowed, looking at her. Elizabeth looked at the ground sadly.

"I know, Stefan." she said, thinking of how Cynthia had made caustic remarks about Stefan's 'hovering'.

"I know." she said again, pressing her face against his.

Because, she knew that nobody, including Cynthia, truly did know.

The next morning, after Stefan had left for work, Elizabeth was reading her book on the couch, when the buzzer rang.

"Yes?" she said, frowning.

"Elizabeth?" Cynthia said from outside.

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "Cynthia?" she said shortly.

"Yeah." Cynthia said. "It's...it's me, Elizabeth. Are you you going to let me in, or what?"  
"I guess." said Elizabeth sourly, shaking her head.

"Well, maybe I'll just leave, then." said Cynthia. "Believe me, when I tell you, I don't need your little dramas. You remind me of my twelve year old at times."  
"Screw you." said Elizabeth.

"See?"

"I'll buzz you up." said Elizabeth haughtily.

A few minutes later, Elizabeth opened the door, to find Cynthia standing there. She let her in wordlessly.

"What happened?" Elizabeth said. "Did Frank screw the entire secretarial pool at his office?"  
"No, he did not, thank you." Cynthia said.

"Well, what happened?" said Elizabeth.

"With Frank?" Cynthia said. "Nothing."  
There was a silence. Cynthia sat down on the couch.

"He sit on here a lot? Stefan?" said Cynthia. Elizabeth nodded. Cynthia made a shuddering motion.

Elizabeth pursed her lips, and looked at Cynthia expectantly.

"Nothing happened with him. Nothing has to." Cynthia said.

"You broke up?"  
"No, we didn't break up." said Cynthia. "And that's the thing. What the hell was I thinking? Giving you so much credit? As competition, I mean."  
"Excuse me?"  
"Seriously." said Cynthia. "I mean, I must have been feeling really insecure. It's not like I don't eclipse you on every front."  
"Eclipse?"  
"Yeah." Cynthia said. "I mean, when I was young, I made them so hot, they practically needed to be hosed down. Why should things be any different now?"  
"Yeah...uh...why should they?" Elizabeth shook her head.

"I can't believe I sounded so weak the other day." Cynthia shook her head. "I don't know what I was thinking. I really and truly don't."  
"That's it?" Elizabeth said.

Cynthia sighed. "No." she said. "No, that's not it." She looked at the floor. "I...I'm not good with this type of stuff, Liz."  
"But..."  
"But...he's just a guy." said Cynthia, looking at her. "And that's not easy for me to say, because...I like Frank. A lot, in fact."

"Okay."  
"But...if he has a thing for you, and was planning to act on it, then...he's _not_ worth it. I went through enough of that with my two marriages." said Cynthia. "I...confronted him about it, you know. Last night."  
"And what did he say?"

"He said...he did have a crush on you, back when he was in AA." said Cynthia. "And he said that he had always thought that you'd have dated him, if he were able to work up the courage to ask you out." She shook her head. "But that was then. He said. He says...he says he was a different person then, and that he hadn't met me. And that he was never more attracted to anyone than he is...to me. Including you."  
"Do you believe him?"  
"I don't know." Cynthia said. "I mean, yes, I believe that he's emotionally mature enough to know that he doesn't have even a slight chance with you, but..." She shook her head. "The point is that it doesn't matter. I was being...incredibly...cold, and selfish, too. To end our friendship over it."  
"Over a man." said Elizabeth.

"Exactly."  
Elizabeth tossed her head in the air. "A mere man." she said disdainfully.

"Very mere."

Elizabeth glanced at her. Cynthia looked down at the ground, shaking her head.

"Don't start. Just don't." Cynthia said. Elizabeth smiled.

"But the point is..I behaved idiotically, and I'm...sorry." said Cynthia. "Okay?"  
"I guess so." said Elizabeth. She shook her head. "But how do I know you won't up and change your mind, and decide to stop speaking to me?"  
"I won't."

Elizabeth shook her head. "I was hurt, you know."  
"I know." Cynthia said. "I...was too. That Frank...suddenly seemed to have stars in his eyes when you showed up. That I have yet to see on my behalf."

"That's not true, either." said Elizabeth. "There weren't stars in his eyes, Cynthia. I don't-"  
"Well, he came pretty damn close." said Cynthia. "But never mind. They all have this fantasy about younger women, and, well, in some cases it comes true, like in the case of you-know-who. But the fantasy always turns into ugly reality. Like, for instance, a younger woman might go around laughing about how fat you are."  
"I say it with affection." said Elizabeth.

"Well, maybe Stefan can take a few digs at his own expense, but Frank is much more, shall we say..thin-skinned. He's riddled with insecurities about himself." said Cynthia. "And I know, if he knew what you were...well. He could not take it." Cynthia shook her head. "You and I like to tease. But he could never take some of the things you say. It would destroy him."  
"Like 'stick boy'?" said Elizabeth.

"He would be hurt. And affronted." said Cynthia. "Yes. He would not have liked you, if you two had gotten together, Elizabeth. I know that much."

"Well, good, because the thought of liking him that way never even crossed my mind, Cynthia." said Elizabeth.

"I know, I know." Cynthia said.

Elizabeth shook her head. "But...I...I'm glad you...still want to be friends."  
"Yeah." said Cynthia. She cleared her throat. "Well. I started thinking about that horror you're married to, and-"  
"Hey-"  
"And I felt really guilty about leaving you alone with him." said Cynthia, "So, even though you're both really...scary people, I-"  
"Scary people?" Elizabeth said indignantly.

"Well, not you so much as him." said Cynthia. "Though you are kind of scary in your own right."  
Elizabeth shook her head.

"But..." Cynthia said. "Nonetheless, I..."  
"Like me."  
"Don't get too crazy." said Cynthia. "Let's just say, I might be willing to put up with you."  
"Me too." said Elizabeth. "I mean, you're a vile whore, who hurt Stefan, but I sort of...am willing to look past that."  
"Good for you."

"Of course you were just one of many in a series who did, so you're not special."

"Boo hoo for him." said Cynthia.

There was a silence for a moment. Elizabeth began to sniffle slightly. "Cynthia, I...I'm really glad that you..."  
"Oh, no, not this again." Cynthia complained. "Do you have to cry every time something even slightly...sentimental happens?"  
"It's...it's like when McVries slowed down to help Garaty, even though he got a ticket for it-"  
"Damn it, I'd forgotten what you were really like." Cynthia muttered. "Could you at least wait until the coffee is poured, before you start in with the first Stephen King reference of the day?"  
"Coffee?" said Elizabeth.

"Uh huh." said Cynthia. "It'd be nice if you'd make some. I am a guest, after all."

"Okay." Elizabeth sniffled, and stood up slowly, looking at Cynthia.

"Not to mention a good cup of coffee would help make you more tolerable."

"Oh, shut it." Elizabeth said, heading to the kitchen.

"So, what exactly makes you like him so much?" Cynthia said, at the kitchen table.

"Stefan?"  
"Please." said Cynthia. "I meant Stephen King."  
"Oh." said Elizabeth. She sipped her coffee. "Well. I guess he just reminds me of...a certain time and place. Growing up, I didn't have many friends, and Richie, and Bill, and Ben, and Beverly sort of became like...friends to me."  
"From..._It_, right?" said Cynthia.

"Yes." said Elizabeth. "Growing up, my dad was always working, and my mom...she was never great at handling problems. Probably that was why she left my dad."  
"Right."  
"And...I was alone a whole lot." said Elizabeth. "Preferring my secret fantasy worlds, and my 'time traveling' to real people. Though I did get teased some, in grade school, so that might have had something to do with it."  
"Did you ever have any friends at all, in school?" said Cynthia.

"Oh, some." said Elizabeth. "Sure. In fact...in sixth grade, my gym teacher was holding these auditions. For this dance group. And, even though I was painfully shy, I really liked the idea of dancing onstage. So I went out for it."  
"And did you get in?" said Cynthia.

"Yeah." said Elizabeth. "I did get in, as a matter of fact."  
"And what happened?" Cynthia said. "Did the other girls..make fun of you?"  
"No." said Elizabeth. "No, they were great. In fact. I felt...included for the first time. And...dancing...I really liked it. I still have my silver leotards."  
"Oh."

"I used to love the way they sparkled." said Elizabeth. "And I fell in love with dancing. We went to regionals in L.A., even. My mom was our chaperone."

"So I guess your parents approved your dancing?" said Cynthia.

"Oh, they loved it." said Elizabeth. "Finally, I was doing something normal, instead of outside in the yard with my dad's old alarm clock."  
"Alarm clock?"

"Time machine." said Elizabeth. "I was pretending it was my time traveling vessel."  
"I see." said Cynthia amusedly.

"I used to love that movie, _Dirty Dancing_." Elizabeth said, thoughtfully. "I went to the store and bought a VHS copy of it, and watched it over and over again. I was in love with the idea of being a dancer."  
"Yeah, I like that movie." said Cynthia. "Even though it's cheesy."  
"I don't think it's cheesy." Elizabeth said. "I think it's romantic. I also loved the relationship between Johnny and Baby."  
"A little cliché, if you ask me, but yeah."  
"There was even a guy, who I thought looked like Patrick Swayze." said Elizabeth. "This guy, this...motivational speaker. He often came to our school, and spoke."  
"Really."  
"Yeah, he had a whole series of tapes and everything." said Elizabeth. "My gym teacher, Mrs. Farmer, would make us watch them. I think she was in love with him. We all kind of...were."  
"He was really good-looking?" said Elizabeth.

"Yeah, and charming." said Elizabeth. "Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. He was that kind of a guy."  
"I know the type."  
"He was a big supporter of Sparkle Motion, though." Elizabeth said, her eyes drifting down to her coffee for a minute, before looking at Cynthia.

"Was that the name of your dance group?"  
"Yeah." said Elizabeth. "It was."

"Did you know him well?"  
"Only somewhat." said Elizabeth. "But he'd come to all our recitals."  
"Did he have a daughter that danced in the group, or something?"said Cynthia.

"No, he didn't...have a daughter." said Elizabeth. She cleared her throat. She looked at Cynthia. "I think...I think he and Mrs. Farmer were screwing. I think that's why he was always around."

"Oh." Cynthia said.

"I loved being in Sparkle Motion, though." said Elizabeth. "Nothing but fond memories. I remember we did a recital at the talent show to Duran Duran's 'Notorious'."  
"Yeah."  
"I love eighties music, don't you?" said Elizabeth.

"I'm more fond of...sixties and early seventies music myself." said Cynthia. "Joan Baez, and Joni Mitchell, and Bob Dylan."  
"Those are great, too." said Elizabeth. "You know, I was a singer for this band, once, too."  
"Oh." said Cynthia. "Really?"  
"Yeah, they were...they were these guys that Toby knew." said Elizabeth. "Their lead singer had this huge drinking problem, and she had to go to rehab. So one night, they asked me if I'd like to sub for them. I love to sing...so...I agreed. Just for awhile."  
"And what happened?"  
"Nothing, really." Elizabeth shrugged. "I sang with them for awhile. We sang at weddings, Bar Mitzavahs, nightclubs...it was no big deal."  
"Something you'll always have, though." said Cynthia. "I'd have done something like that, too, if I'd had the opportunity...but when I sing, it sounds like a rusty hinge." Elizabeth laughed.

"What did you sing?" said Cynthia.

"Well, one night we sang Billy Joel's 'Honesty'." said Elizabeth. Cynthia nodded. "And then one time we sang this song that they wrote. It was called 'How Lucky Am I'."  
"Frank would be proud." Cynthia said.

"Frank?" Elizabeth said.

"You know. The Native American Frank?" said Cynthia. "Didn't you tell me he was in a garage band?"  
"Oh, right. He was." Elizabeth said. "Maybe he would be. Anyway, one night, I sang this song, it was 'Eternal Flame'. You know, by the Bangles?" Cynthia nodded.

"And Toby was there." Elizabeth said. "I looked at him, when I was singing it. And he smiled. But his eyes weren't smiling. I saw the...nonplussed look in his eyes, Cynthia. And it hurt."  
Cynthia sighed. "Yeah." she said. "Well, he was a jerk, I guess."  
"He was always acting like he couldn't wait to get rid of me, so he could screw some other piece of ass." said Elizabeth. "He was so vain, you know. He thought I was singing to him."  
"Were you?"  
"I was." said Elizabeth. "But he acted like he was scared by it. Like I was obsessed with him, as always."  
"He wasn't worth it, what you came up with after him, notwithstanding."  
"Now, though." said Elizabeth, ignoring her. "Now, I don't care. Now I could care less."  
"Now you've got a guy who prefers that the man do all the stalking." said Cynthia.

"Bitch."

Cynthia laughed. "Well, maybe not all."

"You know," Elizabeth mused. " One night, he'd been really annoying me, when we were still dating, we ate at my dad's sister's house for Thanksgiving. And, of course, Stefan starts talking politics. About 'systemic racism', and all this anti-war stuff, and...generally embarrassing me. I mean, everyone knows that you're not supposed to talk about religion or politics at Thanksgiving. But he did. Of course."  
"No joke. Nothing accompanies sweet potatoes and stuffing like some good-old fashioned leftist raving." Cynthia shook her head. "Everything's a political forum."  
"Right?" said Elizabeth. "Anyway, that night, I..later, I watched him sleeping, and...I forgot. Everything he'd done to set my teeth on edge a few hours earlier. I watch him sleeping a lot, in fact."

"You know, if you're planning to make me throw up, you're well on your way to succeeding."  
"Of course, he later told me that he was not asleep at all, and knew I was watching." Elizabeth shook her head.

"Creepy bastard."  
"Stuff it." Elizabeth said. "But I should have known that he wasn't asleep, because...well. He snores like these pigs I saw on a field trip to a farm in the third grade."

"Indeed."  
"When we first slept together-"  
"No." said Cynthia abruptly. "Please no."  
"Please. Like I'd want to share details of our sex life with you?" Elizabeth said. "I was simply referring to the fact that when I first spent the night with him, I found it to be totally incongruous that a man who was so good-looking would snore so much."  
"I didn't think of it in nearly such positive terms."

"And," Elizabeth said, looking at Cynthia with a devilish look in her eyes. "That's not the only time he makes noises like a pi-"  
"No." said Cynthia.

Elizabeth shook her head. "Luckily," she said. "I find pig sounds to be very soothing."  
"Why is it that I'm beginning to regret coming here?" said Cynthia.

"I still like to dance, you know." said Elizabeth. "In fact...sometimes, I...sometimes I do my Sparkle Motion routine for Stefan."  
"I'm sure you did." said Cynthia.

"Only, I made it, you know." said Elizabeth. "Sexy."  
"You really are trying to torture me, aren't you?" said Cynthia. "Sadist."  
"Remember when I said I still have my silver leotards from when I was eleven?" said Elizabeth.

"Yeah, why?"  
"Well," said Elizabeth. "Stefan also has clothes from when he was younger. He has this white linen suit that he wore back when he was in law school."  
"So?"  
"So." said Elizabeth. "Sometimes I have him wear it."  
"Really." Cynthia cleared her throat. "Isn't there...um, a disparity? In uh...eighties, and...well, now?"  
"Darn right." said Elizabeth. "The only thing that he can get into is the jacket, and not easily, it's had to be sewn up several times now."  
"Uh huh." Cynthia said. "As expected. Why do you want to ruin it? Why not just sniff it, and rub your face against it, like the creepy bitch you are?" Elizabeth just looked at her.

"I don't get it." Cynthia said. "I mean, if you 'love the past' as much as you say you do, why not keep it preserved so that it'll be an uh, 'beautiful monument'. Why put his fat ass in it."  
"Sometimes, I make him put on the pants, too." Elizabeth said conspiratorially to Cynthia, leaning forward. "Well, try. I make him try. And he always does. Try so hard."  
There was a silence.

"He can't get his fat ass in those white pants, no matter how hard he tries, Cynthia." Elizabeth added, looking at her.

"I think...I think I get it now, Elizabeth." said Cynthia.

"Really."  
"Elizabeth," Cynthia said,. "You're a nice, likable person. Really, you are."  
"I am?"  
"Yes." said Cynthia. "You have many great qualities, and many traits that make me glad we're friends. But...telling stories like that is not one of them. I mean, if you and Stefan want to...do whatever it is that makes you happy, go for it. I don't judge."  
"All right, Cynthia." said Elizabeth. "Rather prudish, aren't we?"  
"Prudish doesn't really enter into it, Elizabeth." said Cynthia. "I mean, my idea of a great time in the bedroom is not exactly...making my partner put on clothes he wore twenty years ago, to highlight that he's old, and fat, now. I don't think that sounds like a hot time to most people, in fact."  
"He'll do it, though." said Cynthia. "If I tell him to do it. And it's the humiliation I crav-"  
"Elizabeth." said Cynthia. "Please. Keep your kinky sex life to yourself, all right?"  
"All right, Cynthia." Elizabeth shrugged. "Sometimes, though I'm the sub-"  
"Elizabeth!" Cynthia said exasperatedly. "Didn't what I just said mean anything to you at all?"  
"Sorry." she said.

Cynthia sighed. "Frank would really be put off by that, I know that much." she said. "That would be a foreign language to him. Because he's normal."  
"Uh huh." Elizabeth said crossly. "So what attracts you to him? In my opinion, he's...well. Kind of a wimp."  
"He is not a wimp." said Cynthia. "Frank is...a very sweet guy. And so charming."  
"Oh." Elizabeth said. "Maybe."  
"Not a really big ladies' man." said Cynthia. "I mean, he thinks he is. But he's not like...my other two relationships."  
"Eliot."  
"Yes, and John, of course." said Cynthia. "Don't forget John."  
"I haven't, believe me."  
"John was a creep, a really irritating, selfish bastard, when you got to know him." said Cynthia. "But Eliot...he was such a nice guy. So kind, and easy to get along with." Cynthia looked out the window sadly. "He's the one I...I guess you'd say I've always loved him the most of all my relationships. If only men didn't...well."  
"Have dicks?" Elizabeth suggested.

Cynthia laughed. "Right."

"Stephen King said that men aren't so much blessed with penises as cursed with them." Elizabeth said. "Well, Jessie Burlingame did. In _Gerald's Game_."  
"Mmmm."

"What about...Frank?" Cynthia said. "Do you feel that...kind of love for him?"  
"Maybe."Cynthia said. "It's a little early in the relationship to tell."  
"How long have you been dating?"  
"Two months."  
"I sure...hope it works out." Elizabeth said.

"Thanks." Cynthia said. There was a silence.

"Elizabeth." Cynthia said. "You really are...an unusual person."  
Elizabeth shrugged. "Weird's a good thing. I think."  
"Yes, but...that's not what I mean." said Cynthia. "I mean you're...unusually, sweet, and caring. Sensitive. I mean, you can be. Not to get girly or anything." Elizabeth smiled.

"But...you're also...full of...sarcasm. And mischief." said Cynthia. "You're also...a troublemaker. Of sorts."  
"I definitely am." said Elizabeth.

"I've always been sort of a...troublemaker as well." said Cynthia. "I think that's...I mean...I think that's why we make a good team. That's all."  
Elizabeth was silent for a minute. "Me, too." she said. "And I...I'm glad...that I...that I decided to talk to you that day."  
"Me too, bizarre as it is."

"You never want to admit that you actually like me for too long, do you?"  
"Not for too long, no." said Cynthia. Elizabeth shook her head.

"But I guess I'd..." Cynthia sighed, trailing off. "I would...I mean, I might be...sad. Kind of. If...if I had really done what I said I was going to do."  
"Me too." Elizabeth said. "I would be sad. I was sad."  
"Yeah." Cynthia said. "No crying, now."  
"I'm not going to cry over you, you Scorsese-browed gutter skank." said Elizabeth.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Cynthia said angrily. "Well. I sure as hell am not going to cry over you, you child-voiced, _giant_ whore."

"A woman _should_ have a feminine voice, dear."

"As long as it doesn't sound like a six-year-old's."  
Elizabeth cleared her throat. "See." she said after a moment. "I think...this is why we have a rapport."  
"Uh huh." said Cynthia. She looked down at the table.

"Because we can laugh together." said Elizabeth. "Even at each other's expense."  
"Oh, indubitably." said Cynthia. She cleared her rhroat.

"And, not to get, as you said, girly," said Elizabeth. "But I think the thing that really draws me to you is-"  
"Elizabeth." said a voice behind her. Elizabeth jumped a mile. And ed around to see Stefan standing just a few feet from her chair.


End file.
